Pam Ayres funeral poems: 5 sad and funny poems about death

Simon Edward • 21 September 2026

Pam Ayres proves that funeral poems can be funny, as well as sad. Here are a few of her most touching and humorous pieces.

Funeral poems don't always have to be serious. Just look at Pam Ayres.

Ayres rose to fame in the 1970s, when she often performed her poetry on hit UK radio and TV shows. Audiences loved her, and they loved her poems. They were witty, inventive, surprising and – above all – very funny.

Even in her more serious pieces, Ayres' wit shines through. She has a rare talent for finding humour in unexpected places – including the subjects of death and grieving.

For certain people, these flashes of humour can be comforting. It's why they say, "A heavy heart needs light words." Sometimes, a funny remark seems to blow the clouds away and let the light shine through for a moment. It can help us look at things in perspective and say, "Tomorrow will be another day."

If that sounds like the right mood for the funeral you're planning, you might enjoy some of these funny funeral poems by Pam Ayres. Why not try reading one to a friend or relative and see what they think?

Pam Ayres poems for funerals

"Woodland Burial"

A woodland burial is a type of eco-friendly funeral where the person who has died is buried in a natural environment rather than a cemetery. Often, trees, wildlife and wildflowers surround the site. And while headstones aren't usually allowed, families sometimes plant a sapling to mark the grave.

Many people consider it a more peaceful, organic way to say goodbye – quite different from the solemn, formal atmosphere of a traditional cemetery.

It's this difference that Ayres highlights in "Woodland Burial" – perhaps the closest thing there is to a proper Pam Ayres funeral poem.

Ayres doesn't want to be buried in "some gloomy churchyard". She'd rather her family laid her to rest in "a leafy loam", before planting a tree that will "grow resplendent before God".

As years go by, the young roots tangle through the earth and the tree grows and grows. Eventually, Ayres' body is transformed. Through the tree that grew on her grave, she'll be "tall and standing strongly in the beauty of the sun".

Read "Woodland Burial" in full.

"With These Hands"

There are a few Pam Ayres poems about death, but "With These Hands" isn't strictly one of them. Instead, it's a nostalgic tribute to motherhood – with all its ups, downs and in-betweens.

A mother's life is busy – and Ayres knows it. "With these hands", she writes, she soothes fevers, prunes trees, pumps tyres and bakes cakes (not always successfully). She's an organiser, a cook, a gardener, a source of comfort and – above all – a human being trying her best.

But motherhood isn't just about looking after. It's also about letting go. "With these hands", Ayres remarks in the poem's closing lines, "I wave goodbye."

It's classic Ayres: witty, cheeky and tinged with just enough sadness to make you think. It might work well as a tribute to a mother who didn't take herself seriously but took motherhood very seriously indeed.

Read "With These Hands" in full.

"Yes, I'll Marry You, My Dear"

"Yes, I'll Marry You, My Dear" isn't a typical funeral poem. With its frank and humorous take on married life, it won't suit every funeral. However, if you want to celebrate the life of a husband who loved to laugh and had a playful sense of humour, it's perfect.

The speaker in the poem is a wife-to-be who is well aware of her own shortcomings. "Yes, I'll marry you", she says to her husband, because you're the one who'll mend the tumble-drier, do the cleaning and put up curtains. You'll be the one who cooks candlelit dinners and grabs the torch to investigate spooky bumps in the night.

"I do see great advantages", she says, "but none of them for you. And so before you see the light, I DO, I DO, I DO!!"

Read "Yes, I'll Marry You Dear" in full.

"Down the Line"

"Down the Line" is more sombre than most Pam Ayres funeral poems. That's because it tackles a very sombre subject: the lives and deaths of soldiers who fought in World War I.

It's a very dark and evocative poem. Ayres paints a picture of "battlefields obscene", where "tunnels dark" and "cuttings deep" scar the landscape. It's these gloomy landscapes where thousands of soldiers – some as young as 12 – will go to "learn the ways of rifle and of bayonet". For many, Ayres notes with sadness, it will be the last trip they ever make.

Ayres wrote the poem as a tribute to these young soldiers. As we fast-forward to the present day, she writes:

In hamlet soft, and city loud,
I still the clamour of the crowd,
And mourn them from this heart of mine:
The soldiers, sailors, airmen fine,
The boys who travelled down the line.

Are you planning a funeral for a person who served in the army? "Down the Line" might make the perfect tribute.

Read "Down the Line" in full.

Bonus poem: "Dust if You Must" by Rose Milligan

"Dust if You Must" isn't a Pam Ayres funeral poem. It's by another British poet called Rose Milligan. However, people often believe that Ayres wrote it.

It's easy to see why. Like Ayres, Milligan has a witty, lighthearted style that uses humour to grab your attention before leaving you with a powerful message to consider.

Milligan's message is simple: life is short, and there are more important things to do than housework. "Dust if you must", she writes, but wouldn't you rather be painting a picture, planting a seed, climbing a mountain or reading a book? There's a whole world out there – and it won't be around forever.

That's made clear in the final verse:

Dust if you must, but bear in mind,
Old age will come and it's not kind.
And when you go (and go you must)
You, yourself, will make more dust.

It's a stark conclusion to a poem that starts lightheartedly. It might suit someone who lived life to the fullest, right up to the very end.

Read "Dust if You Must" in full.

More funeral poem ideas

At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we want to help you plan a funeral service that feels right for the person who died. That's why we often share funeral ideas on our blog, including ideas for readings and poetry.

If you didn't find the right poem today, why not explore some of these other poetry guides?

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