What to wear for a memorial service
Expectations for what to wear at memorial services can be quite different to traditional UK funerals. Learn how to plan an appropriate outfit.
Funerals in the UK tend to be formal occasions, where people wear simple, smart clothes in dark colours.
But memorial services often have a slightly different atmosphere. They're sometimes less formal than funerals, and the tone can be more about celebrating a person's life than mourning their death.
Those differences may show up in the dress code. The invitation may ask people to wear smart-casual or casual clothing. There could even be a themed dress code that calls for certain meaningful colours or accessories. Or the organisers may expect smart clothing like at a traditional funeral.
With all those possibilities, it can be hard to know what to wear to a memorial service. In this guide, we give you some general tips to help make sure your outfit is appropriate and respectful.
The golden rule: check, ask and don't assume
If you've been invited to a memorial service and you're not sure about the dress code, start with these steps:
- Check the invitation:
if the organisers have a particular dress code in mind, the invitation may say so.
- Ask if you're not sure:
don't be afraid to ask questions. A simple message to the organisers saying, "Is there a dress code?" might be all you need.
- Don't assume
the dress code will be casual. If you still don't know the facts, wear something simple and smart in a dark shade. That's the safe option.
Memorial service vs funeral attire
Funeral services usually happen shortly after a person dies. They're formal occasions with formal dress codes – in the UK, people typically wear dark, understated clothing as a mark of respect.
Memorial services can take place weeks, months or years later. They often feel more relaxed or even celebratory. And they may be held somewhere less formal, such as a pub function room, a community hall or a family home.
That means memorial services can have a different feel – and that can change what people wear.
However, that doesn't automatically mean you should wear casual attire. Follow the golden rule: check the invitation, ask the organisers and choose smart, simple clothing if you're still unsure.
Do you wear black to a memorial service?
You can wear black. It's generally seen as a mark of respect, and it's always a safe option unless the organisers ask you to wear a different colour.
However, black isn't usually compulsory. Muted colours such as navy, charcoal or brown are also acceptable in most cases.
Occasionally, the organisers might specifically ask guests not to wear black. That's usually because they want to personalise the memorial service to fit the personality or interests of the person who died.
Instead, they might ask you to wear something like:
- The person's favourite colour
- The football shirt of their favourite team
- A flower, a scarf or another accessory with personal meaning
But don't assume you should wear any of these options without being told to. Again – if you don't know the facts, choose a smart, dark and understated outfit. That will rarely look out of place.
Your memorial service outfit: a quick guide for men and women
In the table below, we've suggested typical memorial service outfits for men and women.
In most cases, these suggestions will suit the mood of the service, whether it's formal or more celebratory. However, it's still best to check in case the organisers have certain colours or outfits in mind.
| Suggestions for men | Suggestions for women |
|---|---|
| Dark or neutral suit with a shirt | Simple dress |
| Smart trousers or chinos with a shirt | Blouse with trousers or skirt |
| Blazer or smart jacket (if appropriate) | Smart jumpsuit |
| Tie (optional, unless formal dress is required) | Cardigan, blazer or jacket |
| Clean, understated shoes | Flats, boots or modest heels (depending on venue) |
| Muted colours are safest |
What to wear to a casual memorial service
In some cases, the organisers might specifically ask people to wear casual clothes.
But what if it's not on the invite and you're not asked directly? In that case, the type of venue might give you a clue. A memorial service in a pub or garden, for instance, is more likely to feel casual than one held in a place of worship.
Even if it's a casual service, it's best to avoid certain clothing unless you're absolutely sure it won't offend. That includes slogan T-shirts, gym clothes, ripped clothing or anything very attention-grabbing.
For men, a typical casual outfit might include smart jeans or chinos and a neat shirt or plain jumper. For women, it might mean a simple dress or a blouse paired with a skirt or trousers. Clean trainers may be appropriate, but ask if you're unsure.
What to wear to a memorial service in summer
If the weather's hot, think about how to maintain a smart, respectful look while staying comfortable.
That might mean:
- Choosing lighter fabrics and layers – linen is a solid, breathable choice that can still look smart
- Wearing short sleeves – these are generally considered OK at memorial services
- Thinking about footwear if the service is outdoors
- Wearing sunglasses outdoors, though you should remove them indoors
What to wear to a memorial service in winter
In winter, the same rules apply: keep your outfit smart and respectful, unless you're told otherwise. The difference is that you need to think about layers and practical footwear.
Here are some tips to help you plan your winter outfit:
- Dark coats, smart knitwear and trousers work well for everyone.
- Dresses with tights are another good option for women.
- Layers are useful if you're moving between indoor and outdoor locations.
- Practical footwear might be better than formal shoes if you're outdoors.
- It's usually fine to wear hats, scarves and gloves outside for warmth.
We hope this guide helped you put together a fitting memorial service outfit. For more advice on attending or planning memorial services, visit the Akshardham Funeral Directors blog.
