Funeral speech template: a framework to help you write
If you're writing and delivering a funeral speech, you may want guidance. Try our free funeral speech template.
Being asked to read a speech at a funeral can be an honour. But it can also be a cause of worry.
You may worry about striking the wrong tone or getting emotional during the speech. You may find public speaking daunting or have conflicted feelings about the person who has died.
Whatever the reason for your worry, we're here to tell you that it's hard to go wrong. The important thing is that you keep the speech simple, heartfelt and affectionate.
When writing a funeral speech, the main question to ask yourself is whether you think the person who has died would appreciate it. If the answer is yes, you're on the right track.
Nevertheless, some people want guidance with writing a funeral speech. That's why we've put together this simple framework for you to follow. We hope it helps you write a speech you're happy to deliver.
What structure should a funeral speech follow?
As with many aspects of funerals, there are no right or wrong answers. Many funeral speeches, however, are split into five short sections:
- Introduction
- Memories of the person who has died
- Their personal qualities
- Their impact and legacy
- Farewell
Let's break these sections down one by one.
1. Introduction
The introduction will consist of you introducing yourself and your relation to the person who died.
2. Memories of the person who has died
The second section will include one or two strong memories you have of them. It could be the first time you met, a time they supported you or a special day. You can mention anything that you feel captures something important about them.
This can help create a feeling of commonality between you and the funeral guests as you all reflect on the person who died.
3. Their personal qualities
The third section will move from memories about them to their personal qualities. What kind of person were they? Were they kind, outgoing, thoughtful, adventurous, principled, witty, wise?
Sharing your impressions of their personal qualities is a great way to celebrate their good qualities. It also helps to bond the audience as they all reflect on the qualities of the person who died.
4. Their impact and legacy
Next, you'll describe the impact the person made and the legacy they left. This could be a personal achievement, their relationships with family and friends or just the fond memories that remain.
5. Farewell
Finally, you'll say goodbye to the person who died and to the guests. If you're not a close relative, you may also want to express love and condolences to the immediate family.
This is a simple framework. But it's one that gives you enough time to share personal memories and reflect on the impact the person made.
How do I write a funeral speech?
That's the framework. So, how do you fill in the gaps?
There are a couple of ways to do this. A tried-and-tested method is to jot down your memories and impressions of the person who died. You could set a timer and write freely. Once you've set down these thoughts, you can start to build a speech around them.
If you're religious, you may want to include quotes from religious texts. At both religious and non-religious services, you could include relevant quotations from poems, books, songs or films.
If you're finding it hard, you could reach out to close friends and family members and ask them to share their memories, impressions and stories.
What tone should a funeral speech be?
There's no simple answer to this question. While most speeches are personal and solemn, some are warm and celebratory.
It will depend entirely on the nature of the funeral and the personality of the person who has died. If you're unsure, it's best to play it safe.
How long should a funeral speech be?
Most funeral speeches last between three and five minutes – around 500 to 750 words. This may strike you as too long or too short. Many people, however, find that it gives them enough time to express themselves without overdoing it.
If there are multiple speakers, you should probably aim for two to three minutes. It can be worth checking with the organisers or the other speakers to avoid repeating material and overstepping time limits.
The funeral director should let you know how much time you have to speak. If in doubt, keep to the time limits we've suggested and you should be fine.
Can a funeral speech be funny?
Funeral services are traditionally sombre affairs. If you feel that it reflects the personality of the person who has died, however, you can make a humorous speech.
Common sense should be your guide. But if in doubt, ask the family or funeral director for guidance.
How should I deliver a funeral speech?
If you're nervous about delivering your speech, you may be tempted to rush. Try, if you can, to pause between sentences, speak slowly and breathe.
You may also worry about crying. It's important to remember, however, that everyone is there to grieve, so crying is a normal thing to do. If you do want to compose yourself, take a deep breath and a sip of water before continuing.
Preparing for a funeral speech
When getting ready to deliver a funeral speech, practice is your friend. Practise out loud with a stopwatch until you feel confident about your delivery.
Some people read from bullet points or memorise their speeches. You may, however, want to have a printed script with you in case you lose your place.
This printout should be double-spaced with a large, readable font. You could also give a friend, family member or the funeral celebrant a copy in case you get too emotional to finish.
AFD is an independent funeral director based in London. We provide a compassionate service and a listening ear at all stages of the process and work with people from all faiths and walks of life. If you need our support, please call whenever you're ready on 020 8355 7876. Our lines are always open.
