Why do people wear black at funerals?
Traditionally, mourners wear black to funerals in the UK. But in recent years, this has started to change. Find out why.
For a long time in most Western cultures, black was the default colour worn to funerals. Today, many funeral attendees still choose to wear black.
With the rise of alternative funerals and multiculturalism, however, black is no longer the default. Many people from Asian cultures wear white. And people from all backgrounds may choose to have a colourful celebration of life rather than a formal funeral.
When deciding what to wear to a funeral, your best bet is to choose black or dark colours unless someone tells you to wear something else. That way, you avoid the risk of feeling embarrassed for standing out at a sombre occasion.
But why do people wear black in the first place? To answer that, we need to go back to the days of ancient Rome.
When did people start wearing black to funerals?
In ancient Rome, men who were high up in the social ranks would wear a special dark toga to funerals.
The toga was special because dark dyes were expensive. This was the case even in medieval Europe. Dark mourning clothes were a sign of high social status.
The practice of wearing black to a funeral only became widely adopted in the second half of the 19th century. This was because many people chose to follow the example of Queen Victoria.
When her husband Albert died, Victoria chose to wear black for the remainder of her life. That helped make black the go-to colour for funerals in England and beyond.
Is it OK to not wear black at a funeral?
Different cultures have always had different funeral customs. But in the UK, wearing non-black clothes to funerals started in the second half of the 20th century and has been growing ever since.
Some families encourage people to wear bright colours or simply to wear the clothes they feel most comfortable in.
Others organise celebration of life funerals. These are an alternative type of funeral that emphasises a party-like atmosphere over a sombre sending-off.
Then there are themed funerals. These could reflect the interests or personality of the person who died. The organisers of a themed funeral might encourage you to wear the clothes you feel comfortable in or a dress code that reflects the theme.
Despite these changes, black is still the go-to colour for many funerals. For this reason, it's worth checking the invitation to make sure you're wearing the right thing.
Why is black worn at funerals today?
In Western societies, black is a traditional colour for expressing grief and sadness – and traditionally, these are the emotions people want to emphasise at funerals. In some Asian cultures and societies, white is the preferred colour.
But there's another reason why black is chosen – and, perhaps surprisingly, it's the same reason why white is chosen in other cultures.
This is that a common colour can help keep the focus on the person who died. This can create a sense of community and common purpose.
Finally, black is still considered by many to be a safe choice. For most people, the priority is to avoid drawing attention away from the person who died. That's why most people wear black unless they're asked not to.
Not all cultures wear black
Black is the default colour for funerals in Western societies. But in some Asian cultures, white is the colour of choice.
Hindus usually wear white – some more strictly than others. That's because the colour represents purity and enlightenment in their religion.
At Hindu funerals, men often wear a white shirt and trousers or a white kurta (a collarless shirt). Women wear a plain white dress, skirt or salwar kameez (trousers and tunic).
Generally speaking, Muslims tend not to wear black to funerals, opting instead for white or muted colours. However, black funeral attire is quite common at Muslim funerals in the UK.
And in Hong Kong, both white and black are OK. The big no-no is red. As the blogger La Carmina explains, that's because red is "a festive colour associated with happiness".
Despite these cultural differences, one thing seems to unite us all. It's unusual for people to dress in a flashy or attention-grabbing way to funerals – unless this is specifically asked for by the funeral organiser.
What should I wear to a formal funeral?
At formal funerals in the UK, men typically wear a dark suit. Women wear a dark dress, skirt or trousers paired with a blouse or top.
The emphasis is on wearing clothes that are smart and sombre. For this reason, people tend to avoid bright colours, flashy jewellery and other accessories.
When attending a formal funeral, a good question to ask yourself is whether your outfit will attract attention. If it does, you may want to reconsider what you wear.
It's a topic we've covered in our funeral clothing guides:
Frequently asked questions
Is a black and white dress appropriate for a funeral?
There's no right or wrong answer to this. At many funerals, a black and white dress would be appropriate. But before you decide on your outfit, you should check the invitation for a dress code. Check with the family or funeral director if still in doubt.
Do you have to wear black to a Jewish funeral?
Black is the colour traditionally worn at Jewish funerals. As time has gone by, however, other colours have become acceptable. When in doubt, check with the family or faith leader.
Do I have to wear all black to a funeral?
It depends on the funeral. People traditionally wear black to formal funerals, but other muted colours are acceptable. Some funeral organisers encourage attendees to wear bright colours or follow a dress code instead.
At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we provide gentle, compassionate guidance to help you plan the funeral you want. To learn more, take a look at our funeral home services or call on 020 8355 7876. Our lines are always open.
