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Robin poems for funerals: poetry about robins and loved ones

Mon, 04 May 2026 08:43:52 GMT

Are you looking for a poem to read at a funeral? Explore 8 beautiful poems about robins that could feel appropriate for the service.

Poetry often plays an important role in funerals. It can be used to reflect the personality and interests of the person who has died and to stir the feelings of the people in attendance.

Sometimes, however, it's not easy to choose the right poem for the occasion. Perhaps you're not confident about poetry as a whole or are unsure about the taste of the person who has died. Perhaps you're worried about getting the tone wrong.

Here at AFD, we work with people from all walks of life to arrange the funerals they want. One thing we've learned is that when it comes to funerals, there's rarely a right or wrong way to do things.

If you think the poem is suitable for the funeral, it probably is. Your main thought should be whether it chimes with the memory of the person you're remembering.

In this article, we take a look at eight poems about robins and loved ones that range from the joyful to the melancholy. We hope they help you make a choice that's right for you and the person who died.

Eight poems about robins and loved ones

1. "The Visitor" by K.M. Ehmed

In K.M. Ehmed's "The Visitor", the narrator is grieving and confides in a robin. "How you'd left me all alone", they say. "How much I miss your loving heart, the place I called my home."

The robin answers silently that "We do not lose our loved ones... / Our bonds, they last forever they're not broken when we die".

Could the robin in the poem be the spirit of the person who died? When the narrator asks the bird, it answers simply: "I love you too."

Read "The Visitor".

2. "Little Robin" by John F. Conner

A poem from the bird's perspective, "Little Robin" is about constancy and reassurance – a sentiment that could comfort and reassure at a difficult time:

I am that little robin
In your garden every day
I will never leave you
I will never fly away

Read "Little Robin".

3. "The Robin" by Witter Bynner

North American poet Witter Bynner's "The Robin" is about the beauty of everyday life.

The poet begins by listing the birds he's never heard sing. It's a list of birds familiar to anyone who's flicked through a poetry book: the nightingale, the dove, the cuckoo and the "lark ascending".

The perspective of the poem then swivels on the word "But":

But I have felt a pulse-beat start
Because a robin, spending
The utmost of his simple art
Some of his pleasure to impart
While twilight came descending,
Has found an answer in my heart,
A sudden comprehending.

Read "The Robin".

4. "The Robin Makes a Laughing Sound" by Sallie Wolfe

For many people, nature provides a companion – and this sense of companionship can increase as time goes by.

This is the feeling expressed in Sallie Wolfe's short poem for children, "The Robin Makes a Laughing Sound". It captures the feeling of nature always being there for you:

The robin makes a laughing sound.
It makes me stop and look around.

These opening lines return, slightly altered, at the end of the poem, just as every robin is the same yet different:

The robin makes a laughing sound.
I stop. I always look around.

Read "The Robin Makes a Laughing Sound".

5. "To the First Robin" by Louisa May Alcott

Louisa May Alcott is best known as the author of the classic novel Little Women . But she also wrote dozens of poems, including this simple, celebratory ode to the coming of spring:

Welcome, welcome, little stranger,
Fear no harm, and fear no danger;
We are glad to see you here,
For you sing, "Sweet Spring is near."

With its theme of renewal, "To the First Robin" could be a suitable choice for the funeral of a loved one.

Read "To the First Robin".

6. "Winter" by Walter de la Mare

Beginning with the word "And", Walter de la Mare's simple poem "Winter" plunges us into a winter scene – and across the scene flies a robin:

And the robin flew
Into the air, the air,
The white mist through…

The poem then pulls back to reveal the night sky, from "the silver moon and stars" to "Orion's hair". It's a poem about nature, big and small – something that can resonate at a time of mourning.

Read "Winter".

7. "The Blossom" by William Blake

Taken from his 1789 collection of illustrated poems, William Blake's "The Blossom" is a celebration of innocence, natural beauty and a strange, unexplained sorrow:

Pretty Pretty Robin
Under leaves so green
A happy Blossom
Hears you sobbing sobbing
Pretty Pretty Robin
Near my Bosom.

The poem's combination of innocence and experience could make it a moving choice for a funeral, especially if the person who died was a nature lover.

Read "The Blossom".

8. "The Robin is the One" by Emily Dickinson

In some poems, the robin has a melancholy or lonely quality. But in Emily Dickinson's short poem "The Robin is the One", the bird feels more like an angel – and a reminder of home:

The Robin is the One
That overflow the Noon
With her cherubic quantity -
An April but begun

It's a poem that celebrates the passing of the seasons and the cheerful exuberance of a pretty bird.

Read "The Robin is the One".

AFD is an independent London funeral director. Visit our blog for more funeral ideas , including poetry, songs and readings.

Irish poets on death: funeral poems and readings from Ireland

Fri, 01 May 2026 11:05:10 GMT

A selection of Irish funeral poems offering reflection and remembrance. Discover timeless words from some of Ireland's best-loved writers.

Ireland has a long and deeply rooted tradition of reflecting on life and death through poetry and verse.

From ancient laments to modern verse, Irish poets and lyricists have long explored grief, memory and the enduring presence of those we've lost. Like the best poets from any country, their words often feel both grounded and spiritual, acknowledging loss while offering a sense of continuity, connection and peace.

If you're planning a funeral or memorial, a carefully chosen reading can help express what's difficult to say in your own words. Below, we've gathered a selection of Irish poems and excerpts that can be chosen for funerals.

Irish funeral poems

'Aedh Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven' by W.B. Yeats

William Butler Yeats is one of Ireland's most celebrated poets. While not explicitly about death, this short and widely beloved poem is often chosen for funerals because of its tender expression of deep devotion.

It works particularly well when remembering a cherished person, such as a partner, family member or close friend.

Had I the heavens' embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.

'Amber' by Eavan Boland

A pioneering female voice in a male-dominated poetry scene, Eavan Boland was a renowned Irish poet and author. Her work often addresses personal loss, as well as historical and collective grief. Here, she uses amber as a metaphor for preserving the life of a person in memory after their death.

It never mattered that there was once a vast grieving:

trees on their hillsides, in their groves, weeping—
a plastic gold dropping

through seasons and centuries to the ground—
until now.

Read 'Amber' in full.

'May the road rise to meet you' – a traditional Irish blessing

This is a translation of the Irish Gaelic blessing Go n-éirí an bóthar leat .

May the road rise up to meet you.
May the wind be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields and until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of His hand.

This English-language translation has been widely used for readings and cards on different kinds of occasions for many generations. The tone of a gentle farewell makes it a touching choice for funerals and remembrance.

Sad Irish poems about death

For many people, it's important to express more difficult and painful feelings during a funeral or memorial service. The following poems have a more intense tone, confronting mortality directly.

These may be best suited to smaller, more intimate services, private readings and for people who feel comfortable with direct expressions of grief.

'Death' by W.B. Yeats

Another by W.B. Yeats, this piercing poem reflects on the human awareness of death – not just with fear, but with emotional depth and thoughtful complexity. It can be a powerful choice for a service that leans toward sombre reflection.

Nor dread nor hope attend
A dying animal;
A man awaits his end
Dreading and hoping all;
Many times he died,
Many times rose again.
A great man in his pride
Confronting murderous men
Casts derision upon
Supersession of breath;
He knows death to the bone —
Man has created death.

'Requiescat' by Oscar Wilde

At the age of 12, renowned Irish poet, playwright and novelist Oscar Wilde was devastated by the loss of his nine-year-old sister to a fever. Years later, he penned this poem in her memory. Its devoted tone suits a service in remembrance of a beloved woman.

Tread lightly, she is near
Under the snow,
Speak gently, she can hear
The daisies grow.

All her bright golden hair
Tarnished with rust,
She that was young and fair
Fallen to dust.

Lily-like, white as snow,
She hardly knew
She was a woman, so
Sweetly she grew.

Coffin-board, heavy stone,
Lie on her breast,
I vex my heart alone
She is at rest.

Peace, Peace, she cannot hear
Lyre or sonnet,
All my life's buried here,
Heap earth upon it.

Choosing the right reading

Whether you're considering spiritual or religious reflections, contemporary verse or personal stories, there is no 'correct' choice for a funeral reading or poem.

Some people prefer comforting, traditional verses. Others opt for modern or personal readings or messages. What is most important is that the choice feels right for you.

And even the most beautiful poem can feel different depending on how it's read.

If you're planning a funeral or memorial service that includes readings, the speaker may find it helpful to practice in advance. There's also no pressure to memorise words – keep a printed or handwritten copy if you need it. Most importantly, take your time, and don't be afraid of making mistakes or needing to pause.

Many people also choose to include a recorded version of a reading, particularly for well-known poems where a professional or familiar voice can add depth.

Whether you choose a well-known poet like Yeats or Heaney, or a simpler modern verse, a reading can become a meaningful part of saying goodbye.

AFD is an independent funeral home based in Edgware, North London. Are you planning a funeral or a memorial service? Explore more funeral ideas on our blog, including poetry, readings and songs.

What is a funeral wake?

Mon, 27 Apr 2026 22:39:59 GMT

Learn what a funeral wake is – from traditional gatherings to modern funeral receptions – and what to expect when attending or planning one.

A funeral wake is a gathering that takes place to remember and honour a person who has died. It can take place before or after the funeral, depending on cultural, religious and personal preferences.

Today, the word "wake" is often used in the UK to describe the gathering that happens after the funeral service. This type of occasion is what we'll be talking through here.

While the details can vary from family to family, the purpose is often the same. The wake is meant to bring people together, allowing them to share memories and spend time in a more relaxed setting following the formal funeral service.

What happens at a funeral wake?

A wake is usually less formal than the funeral itself. It often takes place in a family home, community hall, a restaurant or pub, or a private function room at a venue.

It is an opportunity for people to gather to talk, reflect and remember the person who has died, as well as connect with one another. There may be food and drink, from light refreshments to full sit-down meals. The atmosphere can range from quiet and reflective to warm and conversational.

At a wake, you might see people sharing stories and memories. There may be photographs or keepsakes on display on walls or tables. There may be music playing, or the atmosphere may be quieter and more sombre.

Some wakes are quite structured, with speeches or readings. Others are informal, with people coming and going over a few hours.

The traditional meaning of a wake

Historically, the word "wake" referred to something quite different in many cultures.

A wake or visitation would take place before the funeral service, to allow for viewing of the body of the person who has died. This would often take place in the family home.

Friends, family, and neighbours would come to pay their respects to the person, who may have been laid out in their coffin or their own bed.

These gatherings could last several hours or even a few days. They were a chance for mourners to sit and talk with the person who had died and perhaps offer prayers or blessings. Visitors would also offer support to the bereaved family.

These traditional wakes are still practised in some communities. However, many people today are more familiar with the modern version that takes place after the funeral.

The modern funeral wake

In the UK, a wake often happens after the funeral service. For many, it's an important part of the overall experience.

One reason people hold these types of wakes is that private, intimate funeral ceremonies are often limited to close friends and relatives. The less formal wake that follows is an opportunity to extend an invitation to wider friends and family, allowing them to pay their respects.

It can feel more relaxed and social than the funeral itself. People may feel more able to talk and even laugh as they share memories and connect with others who knew the person who died.

For some families, this is a space where many meaningful conversations happen.

Who goes to a wake?

Anyone who attended the funeral is usually welcome at the wake, unless the family has said otherwise.

In some cases, the wake may be open to everyone who knew the person. Other times, it may be a smaller, private gathering for close family and friends.

If you're not sure whether you should attend a wake, follow any guidance shared in the funeral notice or programme. If you're still unsure, it's perfectly fine to politely check with the organiser.

What should you expect as a guest?

If you've never been to a wake before, it's normal to feel unsure about what to expect. As a guest at a wake, there are many ways to take part.

Generally speaking, a funeral wake does not have a strict dress code beyond what you wore to the funeral. You don't have an obligation to stay for a set amount of time – only for as long as it feels appropriate or comfortable for you.

People often worry about saying the "right" thing. In reality, a simple message or shared memory is enough. You might speak to family members and offer your support, or share a story about the person who has died. Or, you may prefer to sit quietly and observe and reflect.

Food and drink at a wake

Food and drink are common at wakes in the UK.

This can be as simple as tea and biscuits, or a more substantial buffet or meal. In some cases, alcohol may be served. However, this depends on the setting and the family's wishes.

In certain cultures and faiths, there may be specific guidelines around food and drink. A funeral director can help you plan something that respects those needs.

Providing refreshments is often less about formality and more about giving people a comfortable space to gather and spend time together.

Planning a funeral wake

If you are arranging a wake, there are a few practical things to think about.

These include:

Location : it's best to choose somewhere accessible and comfortable.
Numbers: how many people are you expecting?
Catering: will you provide simple refreshments or a full meal?
Tone: are you aiming to strike a quiet and reflective mood, or a more social atmosphere?

Some people also choose to include personal touches, such as a playlist of meaningful music or a display table of photographs or other keepsakes. This might also include a book for guests to write messages or memories in.

You don't need to do all of these things. A simple gathering can be just as meaningful as a larger event.

Different faiths and cultural approaches

Wakes and post-funeral gatherings are not the same across all cultures and religions.

For example, some traditions may place more focus on gathering together ahead of the funeral rather than after. Others may have set mourning periods with specific customs, while some may not include a wake at all.

A space to come together

If you are planning a funeral and thinking about a wake, a good funeral home will help you think about your options. At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we work with people from all backgrounds and faiths, and understand that every funeral – and every wake – is different.

If you are planning to hold a wake as part of your service and have any questions about the options and details, we are here to support you.

Akshardham Funeral Directors is an independent funeral home based in North London. If you need our support, please feel free to contact us whenever you're ready. You can send us a message or call our 24/7 helpline on 020 8355 7876.

Lionel Richie funeral songs: memorial music by the king of ballads

Mon, 20 Apr 2026 14:10:02 GMT

From timeless love ballads to gentle tributes… Explore 8 of Lionel Richie's most moving songs, ideal for funerals or remembrance.

When choosing funeral music, many families look for songs that express love, remembrance and the enduring connection we feel with the person who has died. Few artists capture those emotions quite like Lionel Richie.

Richie's music is infused with warmth, sincerity and heartfelt storytelling. His songs often explore love in its many forms – romantic, familial and reflective. That makes them surprisingly fitting choices for a funeral, memorial service or celebration of life.

Are you planning a funeral and want some meaningful modern music to pay tribute to your loved one? Here are some of Lionel Richie's most suitable songs to consider.

Endless Love

Perhaps Lionel Richie's most iconic ballad, "Endless Love" is a powerful tribute to a bond that never fades.

Originally recorded as a duet with Diana Ross, the song speaks of an enduring love that continues beyond time and distance. That's something many people find deeply comforting in moments of grief.

With its gentle, slow tempo and reflective lyrics expressing eternal connection, this song could work for a farewell to a partner, spouse or lifelong companion.

Three Times a Lady

Elegant and understated, "Three Times a Lady" is a beautiful way to honour a woman who meant everything to you.

Richie was inspired to write the song after attending his parents' 37th wedding anniversary. Its lyrics celebrate devotion and gratitude.

This song can be especially meaningful when remembering a parent, grandparent, partner, sister or cherished friend. Its soft, dignified tone feels both personal and timeless, focusing on appreciation and respect.

Hello

Arguably one of the best-known romantic love songs of all time, "Hello" takes on a powerful meaning in a setting of remembrance.

The song conveys a sense of loss and a longing to reconnect with lyrics like, "I long to see the sunlight in your hair, and tell you time and time again how much I care". That's a feeling many people experience when saying goodbye for the final time.

Say You, Say Me

Recorded for the 1985 film White Nights , this Oscar-winning song carries a message of unity, understanding, and human connection.

With its themes of shared memories and lifelong friendship, its gentle reassurance that we're not alone can be very comforting for those who are grieving. As it emphasises companionship and togetherness, it is a particularly good choice for communal moments in a service.

Truly

Lionel Richie's debut single, " Truly", has stood the test of time as one of his most tender and intimate songs.

A slow and soulful ballad, it features a stripped-back arrangement and heartfelt lyrics that focus on commitment and everlasting love. These make it ideal for a tribute to a partner or spouse, particularly for quieter moments of reflection.

Alternatively, an instrumental arrangement could help foster a more thoughtful and intimate atmosphere.

Still

"Still" is a poignant reflection on love that remains, even after change or loss.

With lyrics that speak to enduring affection and the difficulty of letting go, this gentle and reflective ballad speaks directly to memory and grief. It's perhaps unsurprising, then, that it's a popular choice for funerals.

Just for You

This song from later in Lionel Richie's career is one of quiet and understated dedication – a message from the heart to someone who mattered deeply.

The lyrics speak of creating a special world for someone, which can be beautifully interpreted as a final tribute to a life partner, parent or close friend. Its mid-tempo beat and uplifting tone, paired with sentimental and tender words, make it a distinctive choice for celebrating a life.

Goodbye

"Goodbye" was written during a painful period of Richie's life, when the singer lost his mother, father, and grandmother. The song is a raw and honest exploration of the difficulty of bereavement and grief.

Capturing the struggle to accept a world without the presence of a loved one, its lyrics highlight the cherished memories shared over a lifetime. They offer a sense of gratitude for the time spent together while acknowledging the deep sorrow of saying a final farewell.

The song also carries the poignant message, "There's peace in where you are", providing a comforting balance of grief and hope for those in mourning.

While more literal in its theme, it remains gentle and respectful, offering a sense of closure that makes it popular for funerals and memorials.

A final note on music and remembrance

Music at a funeral is deeply personal and an important consideration for many people who are planning a service. While Lionel Richie's catalogue leans toward love songs, this is precisely what makes his work an appropriate and enduringly popular choice.

When selecting funeral music, you could start by considering your relationship with the person who died – whether they were a partner, parent or friend. You might want to choose music that feels personal to both of you or use a song that you know had special meaning for them.

Another important factor is the tone you're looking to express for the service. You may wish to create:

An atmosphere of traditional mourning
A feeling of intimacy and quiet reflection
A more celebratory tone in recognition of a joyful life.

There is no "correct" choice – what's important is the tone that feels right for you.

The songs of Lionel Richie have a timeless appeal because of their unique ability to feel both universal and deeply personal. They offer a gentle way to say goodbye and to celebrate lives and loves that will always be remembered.

For funeral attendees, they can serve as a poignant reminder that love in all its forms does not end when a person dies. It stays with us, shaping memories, stories and the way we carry that person forward in our own lives.

In a setting of remembrance and final farewells, that message can be incredibly powerful.

Are you planning a funeral service in London ? At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we offer gentle guidance and a listening ear to help you plan a service that feels right for you. If you need our support, please call whenever you're ready on 020 8355 7876 – our lines are always open.

Reggae funeral songs: 7 sad reggae songs about death and grief

Mon, 13 Apr 2026 18:31:54 GMT

Are you looking for a reggae song to play at a loved one's funeral? Explore 7 sad, bittersweet and hopeful tunes from the reggae greats.

When a loved one dies, music can play a big role in mourning, grieving and celebrating their life. That's one reason why music is often such an important feature of funerals.

At a funeral, music can stir emotions, bring the congregation closer together and reflect the personality of the person who has died. It can be joyous, sorrowful or bittersweet.

If you're arranging a funeral for a lover of reggae music, you may not feel confident about choosing a song. That's why we've put together this guide to 10 sad reggae songs about death and grief.

Reggae is closely linked with Rastafarianism – and Rastafarian funerals often feature joyful, celebratory music. So, we included some more hopeful, joyful and uplifting tracks, too.

When choosing music for a funeral, the most important thing to remember is that there are rarely ever right or wrong choices. As long as the music fits the person who died and is allowed by the venue, it's a suitable choice.

So, without further ado, here are seven reggae funeral songs. We hope it helps you put together a service that feels right for the person who has died.

Seven reggae songs that are suitable for a funeral

1. Cornel Campbell: "No Man's Land"

Cornel Campbell came to fame on the back of his Studio One recordings in the late 1960s. This track from 1976 showcases his distinctive falsetto.

Despite its upbeat feel, the song is bittersweet. The singer feels lost in no man's land and yearns for his mother to guide him:

Oh mother, I wish you were around
To see how your son is bouncin′ around
Used like a tool and then refused
Oh mother, I wish you were around

2. Gregory Isaacs: "Sad To Know (You're Leaving)"

Described by the New York Times as "the most exquisite vocalist in reggae", Gregory Isaacs is perhaps most famous for his 1982 hit "Night Nurse".

In "Sad To Know (You're Leaving)" he reflects on the departure of a loved one:

Sad to know that you're leaving
Even though it's kinda grieving

Each chorus, however, ends on a note of hope. First, "But I know that you'll return real soon" and secondly, "But Jah will guide you out and coming in".

3. Toots and the Maytals: "True Love is Hard to Find"

You can't tell the story of reggae without mentioning the ska and rocksteady group Toots and the Maytals. After all, it was their 1968 single "Do the Reggay" that introduced the word "reggae" to the world and gave the genre its name.

While "True Love is Hard to Find" focuses on romantic love, its rawly emotional vocals and sentimental refrain make it ideal for funerals:

And glory fills my heart with joy from heaven
With love for you
Darlin', I always think of you
Always have my arms filled with love for you
'Cause you know that
True love is hard to find

4. Peter Tosh: "Burial"

Born in Petersfield, Jamaica, Peter Tosh was a core member of The Wailers before embarking on a successful solo career.

His 1975 track "Burial" is not about an actual funeral. Instead, it focuses on anti-establishment sentiments, imploring listeners to "Let the dead bury the dead".

With its minor-key defiance, "Burial" is a track that could be the perfect choice for the funeral of a rebel – or simply of someone who loves that classic '70s reggae sound.

5. Jimmy Cliff: "Many Rivers to Cross"

Jimmy Cliff is one of the main reasons reggae has an international audience, and "Many Rivers to Cross" is one of his most iconic songs.

Opening with a church organ, the song explores feelings of isolation, loneliness and despair:

Many rivers to cross
But I can't seem to find my way over
Wandering, I am lost
As I travel along White Cliffs of Dover

As the song builds, these notes of despair give way to an emotive vocal that communicates strength, pride and willpower.

6. Yabby You: "Conquering Lion"

Born Vivian Neville Jackson, Yabby You was a singer and producer who came to fame in the early 1970s.

His music often explored his Rastafarian beliefs, starting with this, his debut single:

For He is the King of Kings
The Lord of Lords
The Conquering Lion of Judah

With its warm vintage sound and superb musicianship, "Conquering Lion" is a stern yet uplifting choice for a Rastafarian funeral.

7. Bob Marley: "Three Little Birds"

Bob Marley is a reggae artist who needs no introduction. Many of his songs are popular at funerals, from the spiritual warfare of "Redemption Song" to the unifying message of "One Love".

We've decided, however, to end on an uplifting note with his 1977 hit single "Three Little Birds".

The birds in question land on the singer's doorstep, "Singin' sweet songs / Of melodies pure and true". The bird song reassures and consoles – two things that many grieving people are looking for:

Singing' don't worry
About a thing
Cause every little thing
Gonna be alright

Akshardham Funeral Directors is an independent London funeral home. We work with people from all faiths and walks of life and provide a compassionate listening ear to help you plan a fitting funeral. Follow our blog for more funeral ideas and planning guides.

How does a funeral home look after a person's body?

Tue, 07 Apr 2026 22:19:20 GMT

A guide to how funeral homes look after a person who has died – from collection to care, through to viewing and the funeral.

When a person dies, a very normal question to ask is, "What happens next?"

Understanding how a funeral home looks after the person who has died can help you feel more informed and reassured. From the moment they are brought into the care of a funeral home, the focus is on dignity, respect and careful attention at every step.

Every funeral home works slightly differently. However, the overall process is designed to treat the person with care throughout their journey, from the place of death to the funeral itself.

Bringing the person's body into care

After a person dies, their body is brought into the care of a funeral home.

This may be from a private residence, a hospital, a hospice or a care home.

The transfer is carried out by trained professionals. It is done calmly and respectfully, at a pace that allows time for any immediate wishes or cultural practices.

Some families prefer to spend time with the person before they leave. Others may choose not to be present. There is no right or wrong approach to this. It's about what feels manageable for you.

At the funeral home

Once the person arrives at the funeral home, they are looked after in a dedicated, private space.

At this stage, the priorities are:

To keep the person's body clean and cared for
To maintain a calm and respectful environment around them at all times

Funeral teams will also keep clear records so that everything is organised properly. This can help to give families peace of mind that the person in their care is always treated respectfully and in accordance with their wishes.

H3: Washing and preparing the person's body

In many cases, the person who has died is gently washed and prepared.

This is a simple but important part of care. It helps maintain dignity and allows the person to be presented in a peaceful way if there is to be a viewing.

Different cultures and faiths have their own traditions around washing and preparation. Sometimes, specific rituals will be carried out by members of the family or community. Others may have guidelines about who can be involved, while some prefer to keep any handling to a minimum.

A good funeral home will talk these options through with you and support your wishes wherever possible.

Dressing and personal touches

If you would like the person to be dressed, you can usually choose their clothing.

This might be:

Their everyday clothes
A more formal outfit
Cultural or religious dress
A favourite outfit that reflects their personality

You can also include small personal items, if appropriate. This could be something meaningful, such as a letter, a photograph or keepsake, or a cultural or religious item.

These choices are entirely up to you. Some people prefer a simple and minimal approach, while others want something more personal.

Viewing the person who has died

Some families choose to spend time with the person at the funeral home before the funeral. This is sometimes called a "viewing" or "visitation".

The room will be set up to feel calm and private and will be presented in a way that looks peaceful and natural.

For some people, this can be an important moment. It can help to make the death feel more real or give space to say goodbye.

For others, this may feel less appropriate, or too difficult, and they choose not to view the person at all.

Again, there is no right or wrong decision here. You can take your time and decide what feels right for you.

What is embalming?

Embalming is a process that can form part of how a funeral home looks after the person who has died.

It involves gently treating the body to slow the natural changes that begin after death. This can help with preservation and presentation, especially if there will be a viewing or there is a delay before the funeral.

Embalming is not always necessary, and it is always a choice.

Some people prefer not to have embalming for personal, cultural, or religious reasons. Others find that it brings reassurance, particularly if they would like to see the person again before the funeral.

A funeral director can explain what's involved and help you decide if embalming is right for your situation.

Leading up to the funeral

In the days before the funeral, the person remains in the care of the funeral home.

During this time, they are kept in appropriate conditions and are handled as little as possible while any arrangements for the funeral are being prepared.

The funeral team will coordinate everything behind the scenes so the day itself runs smoothly.

This includes making sure the person is ready to be taken to the funeral venue, whether a place of worship, a crematorium or another setting.

The day of the funeral

On the day of the funeral service, the person is transported with care to the chosen location.

This part of the journey is often one that families see, and it is handled with particular attention. From the vehicle used to the way the coffin is carried, every detail is considered and the choices of the family are the priority.

The aim is to create a respectful and calm atmosphere that reflects the tone of the service you have chosen.

A process built around care and choice

Every step in this process is designed to look after the person who died with the same dignity and respect they should have in life.

At the same time, it is also about supporting you in making the choices that feel right. Some people want a simple approach. Others want more involvement, or specific traditions or customs to be followed.

A good funeral home will be there to guide and support you as you make those decisions.

At Akshardham Funeral Directors, our role is to support you and make sure everything is handled with respect. That starts when we bring the person into our care and continues through to the day of the funeral.

Working with people from all backgrounds and faiths, we understand that every situation is different. If you have any questions at all about any part of the process, we will be here to talk you through your options at your own pace.

Akshardham Funeral Directors is an independent Harrow funeral home . Do you need our support? Please call us whenever you're ready on 020 8355 7876 – our lines are always open.

How to make memorial ribbons for funerals

Mon, 30 Mar 2026 20:12:20 GMT

Here's a step-by-step guide to making memorial ribbons for funerals. Explore materials, wording ideas and thoughtful ways to personalise them.

Memorial ribbons are a small but meaningful way to remember a person who has died. They can be worn during a funeral or celebration of life, tied to flowers, placed on tables or kept afterwards as a personal keepsake.

Creating one by hand can feel thoughtful and personal, and it allows everyone involved to contribute in their own way.

This guide explains how to make memorial ribbons step by step, using simple materials you may already have at home.

What are memorial ribbons?

Memorial ribbons are decorative strips of fabric or ribbon used to honour a person who has died. They often include:

The person's name
Important dates
A short message or tribute
A symbol or colour with personal meaning

They may be worn by people at the funeral, tied onto floral tributes or displayed during the service.

What you'll need?

Most memorial ribbons require only a few basic craft supplies.

Materials

Ribbon
Fabric scissors
Safety pins
Fabric glue or needle and thread
Fine-tip fabric pen

Optional extras

Small charms or beads
Artificial flowers or greenery
Iron-on lettering
Printed labels or transfers

Making a memorial ribbon

Step one: choose the ribbon colour

Colour can carry meaning, but it doesn't have to follow any rules. It could be:

White for remembrance
The favourite colour of the person who died
Colours to represent a country, culture or faith
Sports team colours

Step two: cut the ribbon

Cut each ribbon to a length between 15cm and 20cm.

You can finish the ends in different ways:

Straight cut for simplicity
Diagonal cut for a traditional look
V-shaped "forked" ends for a decorative finish

If the ribbon frays easily, you can lightly seal the edge with fabric glue or fold and stitch the ends.

Step three: add wording or decoration

This is where the ribbon becomes personal. Some ideas for what to write include:

The person's name, or their nickname or pet name
A meaningful date

A short phrase such as "In loving memory"

Write using a fabric pen, or attach printed lettering if you prefer.

Some people might also wish to add small cultural or faith symbols, or hearts.

Step four: shape the ribbon

Fold the ribbon into a loop.

Secure it at the crossing point using a few stitches, fabric glue or a small decorative pin.

Attach a safety pin to the back so it can be worn comfortably.

A gentle finishing touch

Memorial ribbons can be shared in many ways.

They can be given to mourners as they arrive at the funeral, placed on seats or attached to floral tributes.

Handmade memorial items often become keepsakes. After the funeral, a ribbon can be placed in a small home tribute, a scrapbook or a photo album.

Small details can make a ceremony feel more personal, and sometimes the simplest handmade gesture can be the most meaningful.

Akshardham Funeral Directors has helped families plan fitting, affordable funerals in London for many years. If you need our support, please reach out whenever you're ready. Our phone number is 020 8355 7876, and our lines are open 24/7.

What does embalming mean?

Mon, 23 Mar 2026 17:00:54 GMT

Learn how embalming can help prepare your loved one's body and how to decide if it's right for you.

When a person dies, there are some practical decisions to make about how their body is cared for before the funeral.

One term you may hear during this time is 'embalming'.

But what does embalming mean? And is it something you have to choose?

This guide explains what embalming involves, why some people choose it for their loved ones and why others decide not to.

The most important thing to know is that it is always a personal choice.

What is embalming?

Embalming is a process that preserves and prepares a person's body after death.

The process is carried out by a trained professional, usually at a funeral home or a care facility. It has several purposes:

To gently slow the natural changes that occur after death
To maintain a peaceful appearance
To prepare the person for viewing, if this is something the family wants

Embalming is not mandatory. It's simply one of many ways of looking after a person's body before the funeral.

What happens during embalming?

When arranging a funeral, it's important to understand what the process of embalming involves. It can help make the decision feel easier when you know exactly what's happening.

Embalming involves:

Gently washing and preparing the person's body
Replacing bodily fluids with a preservative solution
Dressing the person in clothing chosen by the family
Placing them carefully in their coffin

The preservative solution helps slow down the natural processes that occur after a person has died, allowing their body to remain stable for longer. This can be particularly helpful if there will be a delay before the funeral.

Throughout the process, the person who died is treated with dignity and respect.

Why do some people choose embalming?

There are several reasons why a person's loved ones may choose to have them embalmed.

To allow time

Embalming can provide some reassurance that the person's body will remain in a suitable condition until the time is right. You might choose embalming if relatives are travelling from overseas, for example, or if there will be a delay before the funeral.

For viewing or visiting

Some families find comfort in visiting their loved one before the funeral. This may happen at a chapel of rest or a private viewing room.

Embalming can help create a calm, natural appearance, which can make that experience feel easier.

Cultural or personal preference

Some cultural traditions include preparation processes that are similar in purpose to embalming. Others do not. Everyone's beliefs and values are different.

For some people, embalming feels like an important part of caring for their loved one. For others, it does not.

Is embalming required by law?

Not at all. In the UK, embalming is not a legal requirement for most funerals.

There are occasional circumstances where specific health considerations apply. However, for the majority of people, it's an entirely optional service.

If a burial or cremation is taking place within a typical timeframe, refrigeration alone is usually enough to ensure the person's body is well cared for.

This means you're free to choose what feels right for you.

Are there reasons not to choose embalming?

Yes. Many families decide not to embalm their loved one's body.

Some reasons might include:

Their cultural or religious beliefs
Wanting to do only what's strictly necessary to look after the person's body
Environmental considerations
Their personal feelings about the process

Some faiths have specific guidance about how quickly burial should take place or how the body should be prepared. Others may allow embalming, but do not require it.

If you're unsure how embalming fits with your beliefs, you may want to speak to a faith leader for guidance. You could also speak to a funeral director if you want to learn more about your options and what the process involves.

Does embalming affect burial or cremation?

Embalming does not prevent a traditional burial or cremation .

However, if you're considering a green or natural burial , you may wish to discuss whether embalming aligns with that approach. Some natural burial grounds discourage or disallow embalming as part of their environmental ethos.

Again, it comes back to personal preference and the type of funeral you want for your loved one.

Will the person look different?

This is a very common question.

The goal of embalming is not to change how someone looks. It is to maintain a natural, peaceful appearance.

Professional embalmers are trained to work carefully and conservatively, and any cosmetic work is usually very light and guided by the wishes of the family.

If you would prefer no cosmetic preparation at all, you can say so. These decisions are always yours to make.

Is viewing necessary?

No. Viewing the person who has died is entirely optional and always a personal decision.

For some families, it's important to spend time with their loved one before the funeral. Others prefer to remember them as they were in life.

There is no right or wrong choice. What matters is what feels best for you.

If you are unsure, you can talk it through. You don't have to decide straight away.

How do I decide?

Arranging a funeral can be a difficult time, and it can feel like there are many unfamiliar terms and decisions to make.

It may help to ask yourself:

Will there be a delay before the funeral?
Do I want the option of visiting or viewing?
Does embalming fit with our faith or personal values?
Would it bring reassurance, or would it feel unnecessary?

A funeral director can explain your options clearly and without pressure.

At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we support families from all different faiths and backgrounds. That means we're here to listen – to understand your beliefs, your wishes and the kind of farewell you want to plan.

If you're considering an embalming service, we can explain the process fully before you decide. If it is not right for you, your choice is always respected.

Things to remember

Embalming is just one way of looking after your loved one's body before the funeral.

Funeral arrangements are deeply personal. The right approach is the one that aligns with your beliefs, your values and the way you decide to say goodbye.

If you would like to talk through embalming or any other aspect of funeral planning, we are here to guide you – simply, clearly and at your own pace.

Are you planning a funeral in London and want compassionate, step-by-step support? Feel free to get in touch whenever you're ready. You can send a message online or call 020 8355 7876 – our lines are always open.

Are funeral wishes in a will legally binding?

Mon, 16 Mar 2026 07:34:09 GMT

Learn what UK law says about funeral wishes in wills, and who makes the final funeral decisions.

A common question that arises when planning a funeral is, "Are the funeral wishes in a person's will legally binding?"

The short answer to this is no. However, the full explanation is a little more nuanced. Let's break it down in more detail.

Are funeral wishes legally enforceable?

In the UK, funeral wishes written in a will are not legally binding. That means the person responsible for arranging the funeral isn't required to follow them by law.

Instead, legal responsibility usually falls to the executor. This is the person named in the will who's responsible for dealing with the estate of the person who died.

If there's no will, responsibility normally passes to the closest surviving relatives.

Because funerals often need to take place fairly quickly, the will itself may not even be read until after funeral arrangements have already begun. For this reason, the law gives executors the authority to make practical decisions, rather than treating funeral instructions as strict legal orders.

In that case, why include funeral wishes at all?

Even though they're not legally binding, funeral wishes are still very important. That's true not just for the person who died, but also for the people making the decisions and plans around the funeral.

Funeral wishes provide guidance at a time when decisions can feel difficult. Many people find reassurance or comfort in knowing what the person who died would have preferred.

Funeral wishes can help clarify important decisions such as burial or cremation preferences, as well as religious, spiritual or cultural customs. They could also include choices for music, readings or poetry, or specify a preference for donations to a particular cause, rather than flowers.

Clear wishes expressed in a will can reduce uncertainty and help avoid disagreements between family members or friends.

Who makes the final decision?

The executor (or next of kin if no executor is appointed) has the legal right to arrange the funeral.

In most cases, people try their best to respect the wishes left behind. However, practical factors sometimes influence these decisions. That can include factors like:

Costs or financial limitations
Family circumstances
Making sure it's easy for people to go to the funeral
Cultural or faith considerations shared by close relatives

Funeral arrangements often involve balancing the wishes of the person who has died with what's realistic and supportive for those organising the service.

Sharing wishes in advance

Because wills can't always be accessed straight away, many people choose to share their funeral preferences during their lifetime as well.

This might involve talking openly with family or trusted friends, or discussing plans with a funeral director in advance and putting them in writing.

Having conversations early can make future decisions clearer and less stressful for everyone involved.

Respecting personal choice

Every funeral is different. Some people prefer traditional ceremonies rooted in faith or culture. Others choose something simple or highly personal. There is no single correct approach.

A funeral director's role is to support the person arranging the funeral, while also helping to respect the wishes of the person who died. At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we work with people from all faiths and cultural backgrounds to explore options and plan a service that feels right for them.

Whether you're thinking about your own plans or arranging a funeral for someone else, open communication and thoughtful guidance can make the process feel more manageable.

AFD is a team of independent funeral directors based in Edgware, North London. If you need our support, please call at any time on 020 8355 7876.

Funeral poems for an auntie: memorial and sympathy verses

Mon, 02 Mar 2026 16:04:05 GMT

Explore 5 thoughtful choices for poems and verses to remember an auntie. All are suitable for readings, orders of service and written tributes.

An auntie can hold many roles in a family. For some people, she might feel like another parent – a trusted listener, a great storyteller and a source of laughter. Or, perhaps, simply the person who makes family gatherings feel warmer and more complete.

When planning a funeral or memorial service, many people look for readings that help express what can feel difficult to put into words. Poetry can reflect personality, shared memories or the lasting impact someone has had on their family and friends.

Below are some well-known verses suitable for remembering an auntie. You may wish to:

Read one aloud during the service
Include it in an order of service booklet
Share it privately with family members

"Remember" by Christina Rossetti

This sombre poem by one of the finest English Romantic poets expresses how love lives on through remembrance.

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

"Remember Me" by David Harkins

This verse has a tone of gratitude for the life of a loved one. It can be a reassuring and comforting choice for a funeral.

"You can shed tears that she is gone", it begins, "Or you can smile because she has lived."

Online, you might see this poem referred to as "She Is Gone".

Read the poem here.

"Afterglow" by Helen Lowrie Marshall

This gently celebratory verse is a good choice for an auntie who would want people to remember the laughter and happy times.

Read the poem here.

"Do Not Stand at My Grave and Weep" by Mary Elizabeth Frye

This is one of the most famous poems of remembrance. Its comforting, reassuring message of love living on after death makes it an enduring popular choice for funerals.

Read the poem here.

"Let Me Go" by Christina Rossetti

Another of Rossetti's reflective memorial verses, this poem acknowledges the importance of grief while encouraging mourners to go on living fully.

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?

Miss me a little, but not for long
And not with your head bowed low
Remember the love that once we shared
Miss me, but let me go.

For this is a journey we all must take
And each must go alone.
It's all part of the master plan
A step on the road to home.

When you are lonely and sick at heart
Go to the friends we know.
Laugh at all the things we used to do
Miss me, but let me go.

Writing your own poem for an auntie

When someone else's words don't feel right, many people write their own short tribute.

You don't need to be a poet to write something meaningful – it doesn't even need to rhyme. If your auntie had a favourite saying or proverb, you might use this. You could also try writing about:

A hobby or passion she had
A list of her best qualities
A list of what people admired about her

Alternatives to poetry

Poetry isn't the only option. There are many other ways to pay tribute or say goodbye to a person who has died.

Some people choose songs or hymns, or tell a particular story from the person's life. There are no rules for what you should or should not include when planning a funeral service. It's about what feels right for you.

Finding support when planning a funeral

When planning a funeral, some people already have clear ideas about how they would like to say goodbye. Others prefer guidance and support while considering their options.

Akshardham Funeral Directors supports families of all faiths and backgrounds, helping you plan a service that reflects personal wishes, traditions and values.

While poetry may not capture a person's entire life, it can offer a moment of reflection and shared remembrance.

Do you need support to plan a funeral service in London ? Our lines are always open. Please call whenever you're ready on 020 8355 7876.

How to make a posy for a funeral

Mon, 26 Jan 2026 21:49:18 GMT

Do you want to make a posy for a funeral? Follow our method for a personal and biodegradable option.

Flowers are an integral part of many funerals. Often, the organiser provides the flowers. Many people, however, choose to bring their own flowers to add to the display.

A funeral posy is a small bunch of flowers suitable for a funeral. They can be bought from florists or made at home.

Making a funeral posy at home has several advantages:

It's often more affordable than buying from a florist.
It means you can personalise the posy.
It's versatile, letting you use different types of foliage you have to hand.

And if you follow our method, it's environmentally friendly, too.

What you'll need

First, you need to gather your flowers. The choice of flowers is up to you. Popular choices include lilies, roses, carnations and chrysanthemums.

These can be mixed with:

Herbs like lavender and parsley
Berries
"Fillers", such as freesia, lisianthus and gypsophilia (baby's breath)

You'll also need scissors, baking paper, twine and hessian – or a similar material.

Method

1. Prepare your materials

Your first step is to remove the lower leaves from all your foliage. This stops the flowers from rotting in the water.

It can be helpful to put your different materials in separate containers or spread them out separately on your work surface.

2. Construct the posy

Next, you feed the flowers into your hand between your first finger and thumb.

You begin with the strongest stems – usually flowers. Feed the stems between your finger and thumb so they sit on top of your hand.

After each addition, use your other hand to turn the posy. This helps give the posy shape.

Next, add any berries, herbs or smaller flowers. Continue in this vein until you're happy with the posy.

3. Get the posy ready to be wrapped

When you've arranged your posy, tie the stems together and cut them all to the same length. At this stage, you want to ensure you've removed any thorns or excess leaves.

If you're preparing your posy the night before, you should cut the stems at 45-degree angles. This boosts water intake and helps the flowers remain fresh in water.

Now put your posy in a water-filled vase.

4. Wrap up your posy

You'll need about a metre of baking paper. Wrap up your posy and tie it up with twine. You can then tie a square of hessian or a similar material around the stems. Now your homemade funeral posy is finished.

How can you personalise a funeral posy?

One of the advantages of making a posy is personalisation. By making the posy yourself, you're free to customise it to reflect the personality or interests of the person who has died.

You can add a handwritten note. You can use the person's favourite flowers or flowers in their favourite colours. You could even repurpose fabric from their home to cover the stems.

AFD is a team of independent funeral directors in Barnet , London. Our managing funeral director, Nitesh Patel, has spent many years helping local families arrange fitting, personalised funerals. Do you need our support? Please call whenever you're ready on 020 8355 7876.

What is a closed cremation?

Fri, 16 Jan 2026 13:00:04 GMT

What are closed cremations and how do they differ from other kinds of cremations? Find out in our quick guide.

Closed cremation, also known as "direct cremation", is a simple and affordable kind of cremation. Crucially, it consists of a cremation without a formal funeral service or ceremony.

This means no mourners attend the cremation itself. Often, a separate memorial is held at a later date.

If you work with a funeral director to arrange a closed cremation, the funeral director will:

Collect the person who has died
Handle the paperwork
Book the venue
Provide a simple coffin

The person's body is then cremated at the crematorium.

Often, the ashes are returned to the family. They can then be kept at home or scattered.

Why do people choose closed cremations?

There are two main reasons why people choose closed cremations over attended cremations or burials.

The first is cost. In 2024, a closed cremation cost an average of £1,597 , as opposed to £3,980 for an attended cremation and £5,198 for a burial.

The second is that a closed cremation requires less organisation. Choosing a closed cremation helps families avoid the stress and formality of a traditional funeral. It enables them to arrange a more personal farewell at a time of their choosing.

Finally, the person who died may have requested a closed cremation, or not specified the kind of funeral they wanted.

Closed cremations are an increasingly popular choice. In 2024, 20% of people chose a closed cremation compared to 55% choosing attended cremations and 25% choosing burials.

Closed cremations: what are they like?

A closed cremation happens without a ceremony. This means no songs, readings or tributes. They're also unattended, although funeral directors occasionally offer attended closed cremations.

With an attended closed cremation, there's still no ceremony. However, a few loved ones can spend a quiet moment with the person who has died before the cremation.

Closed cremations are significantly more affordable than traditional cremations or burials. This is because many costs – such as buying flowers – are not needed.

If you work with a funeral director, they'll handle the collection of the person's body, the venue and time slot and associated paperwork. They will also return the ashes to you in a basic container.

Once the closed cremation is over, families can hold a separate memorial service , ashes scattering or celebration of life .

Frequently asked questions

Akshardham Funeral Directors is a London-based independent funeral home. Are you organising a direct cremation in London ? Our experts can offer gentle guidance through every step of the process. Please call whenever you're ready on 020 8355 7876 or contact us online – we're available 24/7.

Dusty Springfield funeral songs: stirring music from the UK soul star

Mon, 05 Jan 2026 18:28:35 GMT

Dusty Springfield is one of Britain's best-loved singers. Hear 8 of her songs that could be played at a loved one's funeral.

Music has been an integral part of funerals for centuries. And while there are lots of tried-and-tested funeral songs, many people choose to play music loved by the person who died.

Take Dusty Springfield, for instance. She was a UK soul star with a catalogue of songs beloved by people of all ages. Her richly emotive songs are often played at funerals.

Born Mary Isobel Catherine Bernadette O'Brien, Dusty Springfield was one of the biggest pop stars of the 60s and beyond. Her blonde beehive and dark eye makeup are instantly recognisable – but it's her voice that has cemented her reputation.

Here, then, are eight classic Dusty Springfield songs that might suit a loved one's funeral. We hope it helps you choose the right music for the occasion.

1. Losing You

Dusty's 1964 UK hit contains many hallmarks of her early 60s work: stirring strings and brass, keening backing vocals and a soaring, passionate chorus.

It's a song of romantic loss that works equally well as a funeral song:

It would take a miracle
But someday maybe I'll find
That I'm in the loving arms of someone…
Who'll kiss all the heartache away
And come that day
I won't mind losing you

2. Son of a Preacher Man

"Son of a Preacher Man" was written by the American songwriting team of John Hurley and Ronnie Wilkins. An international hit, it had a second wind in the 1990s on the soundtrack to Quentin Tarantino's film Pulp Fiction .

The song is taken from Dusty's 1968 album Dusty in Memphis and is a classic slice of Memphis soul. Its horn-driven refrain and expressive vocals make it a much-loved track. It could work well for the funeral of a person who loved music and high spirits.

3. Goin' Back

Funerals are often a time for reflection, and many people find themselves remembering their childhood. The feeling that the innocence of childhood is long gone can be hard to shake.

This is movingly reflected in "Goin' Back", a 1966 single from Dusty written by Gerry Goffin and Carole King. It's a gentle reflection on the passing of time and the possibility of "thinking young and growing older".

The song was later covered by The Byrds. Theirs is an equally reflective rendition, featuring a jangly country-pop arrangement and reverb-soaked harmonies.

4. I Close My Eyes and Count to Ten

A hit in the summer of 1968, "I Close My Eyes and Count to Ten" is Dusty at her most bombastic, her impassioned vocals towering over classical piano and orchestration.

Its two sections highlight different sides of romantic love: desire, happiness and excitement. This could be a good choice for the funeral of someone who lived life with their feelings at their fingertips.

5. I Just Don't Know What to Do With Myself

One of Hal David and Burt Bacharach's most beloved compositions, "I Just Don't Know What to Do With Myself" is a song of romantic loss. But like "Losing You", it encapsulates feelings that relate to death, too:

I just don't know what to do with myself
I'm so used to doing everything with you
Planning everything with you

Like many of Dusty's finest songs, it's a performance that ebbs, flows, builds and cascades – and above all showcases her vocal prowess.

6. Some of Your Lovin'

Another cut from 1968's Dusty in Memphis , "Some of Your Lovin'" is a dreamy story set to an arrangement as rich as chocolate gateau.

Against a backdrop of ethereal backing vocals, creamy strings and gently rippling piano, Dusty makes the case for herself as a romantic partner:

Now I don't expect you to guarantee
Your faith and devotion to only me…
But baby when I need you
Don't you tell me "No"

7. You Don't Have to Say You Love Me

Dusty had a voice capable of expressing a wide gamut of emotions. In "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me", she gives voice to full-throated romantic despair.

Translated from the Italian song "Io che non vivo (senza te)", "You Don't Have to Say You Love Me" has something of the operatic aria about it. Opening with pure orchestral melodrama, the song cycles through the feelings of someone trying to accept that their loved one has gone away:

Believe me, believe me
I can't help but love you
But believe me
I'll never tie you down

8. The Windmills of Your Mind

Our final choice from Dusty in Memphis , "The Windmills of Your Mind" is a swirling, kaleidoscopic song that encapsulates the aura of the 1960s.

The song was composed by the French composer Michel Legrand with English lyrics by Alan and Marilyn Bergman. It was made famous by Noel Harrison in the 1968 film The Thomas Crown Affair.

Dusty herself didn't like the song, saying she "hated it because she couldn't identify with the words". Generations of music fans beg to differ, finding much to like in the whimsical, hard-to-pin-down lyrics:

Like a snowball down a mountain or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel that is turning, running rings around the moon
Like a clock whose hands are sweeping past the minutes of its face
And the world is like an apple whirling silently in space

Alternately dreamlike and uptempo, "Windmills of Your Mind" could be a suitable choice for the funeral of someone who loved the 60s.

Akshardham Funeral Directors is an independent London funeral home. Follow our blog for more funeral ideas and planning guides.

Is the wake included in funeral costs?

Mon, 29 Dec 2025 10:42:42 GMT

After a funeral, many people choose to hold a wake. Find out how this can be paid for in our guide.

A wake is any kind of gathering or reception held after a person's funeral. It typically takes place at a venue, although it can be held at home. The primary costs are venue hire and catering.

The wake isn't usually included in a cost estimate for a standard funeral. Instead, it's considered to be an optional extra.

This doesn't mean a funeral director can't help you organise the wake. Quite the opposite. The fact is, however, that the costs will be calculated separately from the funeral itself.

Sometimes, funerals and wakes are paid for from the estate of the person who died. At other times, the money comes from a prepaid funeral plan.

In the latter case, you need to check the funeral plan agreement. Some plans include money for a wake, but not all do.

What costs are involved in organising a funeral wake?

When organising a wake, the primary costs are venue hire and catering. Additional costs could include:

Flowers
Order of service sheets for the funeral and wake
Hired goods, such as cutlery, glasses, tables and chairs

If you don't have the money for a wake, you may be able to pay for it using prepaid funeral plan. You'll need to check, however, as not all funeral plans include an allowance for the wake.

How much does a wake cost?

It's difficult to say how much a wake will cost. It will depend on the size and nature of the venue you need and the kind of catering you have in mind.

As a rule of thumb, you can take into account the "cost of dying". This phrase refers to the total cost of a person's send-off, including the funeral and optional extras like transport, flowers and the wake.

According to the SunLife Cost of Dying Report , the average cost of dying in 2024 was £9,797. Meanwhile, the cost of a simple attended funeral (without a wake) was £4,285.

What is the difference between a funeral and a wake?

A funeral is a ceremony to honour a person who has died. It's typically followed by a burial or cremation.

A wake is a gathering or reception that either comes before or after a funeral service. Nowadays, wakes in the UK tend to happen after the funeral.

Who organises a wake?

A wake is usually organised by the immediate family or next of kin of the person who died. If there's no family, the task might fall to a close friend.

A funeral director can help organise a wake. They'll be able to put you in contact with an appropriate venue and provide a quote for catering. This can provide reassurance at a difficult time.

Do you need help organising a funeral and wake in London? Here at Akshardham Funeral Directors, we offer compassionate, step-by-step support to help you plan the send-off you want. Please call us on 020 8355 7876 whenever you're ready. Our lines are open 24/7.

How to find out when someone's funeral is

Fri, 26 Dec 2025 11:49:49 GMT

Do you want to find out when and where a funeral is taking place? Here are some steps you can take.

When a person dies, you may want to attend their funeral. However, it's not always clear when and where the funeral will be held.

In this guide, we'll share a few approaches you can try to find out when a funeral is and make sure you can pay your respects.

Keep in mind, however, that some families choose to keep funerals private or only invite a few selected guests. If you haven't been told about a funeral, this might be the reason. Always use your discretion before reaching out – and try not to feel hurt if you didn't receive an invite

Four ways to find out when a funeral is

1. Make direct contact with family and friends

For many, the first port of call is the immediate family of the person who has died. They're usually in charge of arranging the funeral and will be able to tell you when the person died and any plans for the funeral.

If you can't reach out to the person's immediate family, you could try contacting their wider circle of relatives or close friends. If this doesn't work, you may have to contact a funeral home or place of worship.

2. Contact the funeral home or place of worship

Many funerals are organised through funeral directors. If you know where the person died, you may have success contacting local funeral directors.

If the person who died belonged to a religious community, you could try contacting their place of worship.

3. Look online for death announcements

If you still haven't found out the date of the funeral you wish to attend, you could look online for death announcements. A death announcement will usually tell you when and where a person died and when and where the funeral will be held.

There are many funeral notice websites in the UK that might have information on where a person's funeral will be held. These include:

Funeral Notices ( https://funeral-notices.co.uk/ )
Funeral Guide ( https://www.funeralguide.co.uk/obituaries )
MuchLoved ( https://www.muchloved.com/ )
Death Notices ( https://death-notices.co.uk/ )

In most cases, you search by name or location to find information about the funeral.

Death announcements can also be found on the websites of local and national newspapers.

They're also posted on funeral home websites. If you know where the person died, you could look on a local funeral director's website.

Finally, you may find the death announcement you're looking for on social media.

4. Contact a professional organisation or alumni group

Was the person who died a member of a professional body or a university alumni group? They may have published a death announcement. They might also respond to a request for more information about the person's funeral.

How long after death will the funeral be held?

Traditional UK funerals are typically held around two weeks after someone dies. The exact date, however, depends on several factors.

The funeral could be held more than two weeks after death if a funeral director or funeral venue is unavailable. It could also be postponed if there are payment issues or family conflicts. And some religions, such as Islam and Judaism, hold funerals very shortly after death – often within 24 hours.

Akshardham Funeral Directors is a London-based independent funeral home. You'll find more support and information in our funeral advice centre.

What to say to someone going to a funeral

Mon, 15 Dec 2025 08:00:53 GMT

It can be hard to know what to say to someone who's going to a funeral. Explore some suggestions in our guide.

Do you have a friend, colleague or loved one going to a funeral that you're not attending? You probably want to say something – and you might be unsure what that should be.

This is normal. Death can be a sensitive subject in British culture and you may be worried about getting it "wrong".

Try not to worry. No matter what you say, most people will appreciate that you've made the effort. Even a brief text message or in-person conversation can make somebody feel supported at a difficult time.

Here are some pointers to help you find the right words.

How to talk to someone going to a funeral

Your priority is to show care and support. It's also important to show that you're listening. You can do this with a short text message or conversation.

A lot can be said in a few words. If you feel it's appropriate, however, you could share a positive memory of the person who died or offer specific support for after the funeral.

What to say in person to someone attending a funeral

Here are some ideas for what to say in person to someone attending a funeral:

"Sorry for your loss."
"I'm here for you."
"My condolences."
"Let me know if you need anything."

If they seem stressed, you could gently ask them how they're feeling. If they cry, let them. And if you know someone else who'll be at the funeral, send love and regards.

What to say in a message to someone going to a funeral

Here are some ideas for what to say in a message to someone attending a funeral:

"Thinking of you."
"I'm sorry for your loss."
"My deepest condolences."
"I'm just a phone call away."
"I'm here to listen if you want to talk."

Things to avoid when talking to someone going to a funeral

It's impossible to guess how a person will respond to what you say. There are, however, some things you should probably avoid when talking to someone going to a funeral.

Advice is usually considered inappropriate. You can't "fix" a person's grief and they may take it badly.

The same goes for making the conversation about you. It's more important to listen and offer support.

It's also sometimes considered offensive to put a positive spin on death. The rare exception might be when you're echoing something the person going to the funeral has said.

Your priority is to show care and support at a difficult time. This can come across even if you don't manage to express yourself exactly as you would like.

AFD is an independent funeral director based in Edgware, Greater London. For more tips and guides on funeral etiquette, read our blog .

Memorial card verses: 15 short poems and quotes of sympathy

Mon, 08 Dec 2025 07:38:45 GMT

Are you looking for a poem or quotation to include in a sympathy card? Explore some of our favourites.

When a person dies, there are many ways to express sympathy. You could send flowers, a text message or a gift. Many people, however, choose to express sympathy through a card.

It's never been easier to buy a memorial card – and more often than not, a simple message will do. In some cases, however, you may want to add a memorial poem or quote.

It's not always easy to choose the right text, however. You may find yourself overwhelmed with choice. Alternatively, you could feel like you're looking for a needle in a haystack. Either way, a bit of guidance can go a long way.

That's why we've put together a selection of short poems, quotes and Bible verses that you could include in a sympathy card.

But before we look at the examples, what should you look for in a memorial card verse?

How to choose a memorial card verse

Here at Akshardham Funeral Directors, we don't believe there are right or wrong ways to grieve or express sympathy. If you're speaking from the heart and thinking about how it will be received, your card is likely to be fine.

One thing to keep in mind, however, is length. Many grieving relatives receive a lot of sympathy cards. Unless you were very close, they're unlikely to want a lengthy message or lengthy quote. Instead, it can be best to choose shorter verses.

On top of this, it can be helpful to think about what you want to say to the recipient. Are you offering them consolation or simply expressing sympathy? Do they believe in an afterlife? Do they have a favourite type of poem or favourite poet?

You might also want to consider whether you'll get the poem printed on a sympathy card or whether to write it out yourself. Some prefer the second option, as it shows more care at a difficult time. However, both methods can be appropriate.

Keeping these things in mind can up your chances of choosing a short poem or quote for a sympathy card with success.

Short poems

As a general rule, you don't want a short poem in a sympathy card to be longer than around eight lines. This helps you express your sympathy without cluttering up the page.

1. "Music, when soft voices die" by Percy Bysshe Shelley

Music, when soft voices die,
Vibrates in the memory -
Odours, when sweet violets sicken,
Live within the sense they quicken.

Rose leaves, when the rose is dead,
Are heaped for the belovèd's bed;
And so thy thoughts, when thou art gone,
Love itself shall slumber on.

2. Excerpt from "On Another's Sorrow" by William Blake

Think not thou canst sigh a sigh,
And thy Maker is not by:
Think not thou canst weep a tear,
And thy Maker is not near.

Read the full poem.

3. "Warm Summer Sun" by Mark Twain

Warm summer sun,
Shine kindly here,
Warm southern wind,
Blow softly here.
Green sod above,
Lie light, lie light.
Good night, dear heart,
Good night, good night.

4. "Taking Leave of a Friend" by Li Po (translated by Ezra Pound)

Blue mountains to the north of the walls,
White river winding about them;
Here we must make separation
And go out through a thousand miles of dead grass.

Mind like a floating wide cloud,
Sunset like the parting of old acquaintances
Who bow over their clasped hands at a distance.
Our horses neigh to each other
as we are departing.

5. Excerpt from "Ode: Intimations Of Immortality from Recollections of Early Childhood" by William Wordsworth

What though the radiance which was once so bright
Be now for ever taken from my sight,
Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower;
We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind…

Read the full poem.

Quotes

There are a huge number of quotes that could be included in a memorial card. One way to find them is to search for a key word like "grief", "death" or "sympathy" on a site like Goodreads .

Here are five quotes that might work for you.

"Grief is like the ocean; it comes on waves ebbing and flowing. Sometimes the water is calm, and sometimes it is overwhelming. All we can do is learn to swim." – Vicki Harrison

"Grief, when it comes, is nothing like we expect it to be." – Joan Didion

"What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us." – Helen Keller

"To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die." – Thomas Campbell

"End? No, the journey doesn't end here. Death is just another path, one that we all must take. The gray rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass, and then you see it." – J.R.R. Tolkien

Bible verses

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." – Matthew 5:4

"God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble." – Psalm 46:1

"When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire, you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you." – Isaiah 43:2

"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." – Psalm 147:3

"The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit." – Psalm 34:18

At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we've helped families arrange funeral services in London since 2021. Do you need our support to plan a funeral? We can provide step-by-step advice and support to help you arrange the send-off you want. Please call at any time on 020 8355 7876. Our lines are always open.

Can you have a funeral without a death certificate?

Mon, 01 Dec 2025 07:49:09 GMT

You don't need a death certificate to hold a funeral. Learn what documents you'll need to start making arrangements.

You don't need a death certificate to hold a funeral. Instead, you need a burial or cremation certificate known as a "green form".

You get this form free of charge when you register a person's death. This certificate must be given to the funeral director, crematorium or burial authority before a funeral can be arranged.

A death certificate serves a different purpose. It's needed for probate (proving a will is valid and managing the estate of the person who died).

If you're in England, Wales or Northern Ireland, you have to pay to get a copy of the death certificate. In Scotland, you get a short version of the death certificate for free when you register the death.

What do you get when you register a death?

When a person dies, someone needs to register the death. You can start this process on the government website .

Before you do this, however, you need to be contacted by a senior doctor called a medical examiner. You don't need to speak to them, but you do need to be contacted before you can register the death.

Once the death is registered, you're given a certificate for burial or cremation. This document is commonly called a "green form". It isn't the same as a death certificate.

To learn more, read our guide on how to register a death in the UK .

What is the green form and what do you do with it?

The green form is a certificate for burial or cremation given to you once you've registered a death. It gives permission for a funeral director, crematorium or burial authority to organise or carry out the burial or cremation.

The green form is an important document. Without it, a funeral can't take place.

People are sometimes confused about the difference between the green form and the death certificate. The important thing to note is that you don't need a death certificate to have a funeral.

What do you need a death certificate for?

You need a death certificate to apply for probate. Probate is the legal process that covers proving the validity of a will and managing the estate of the person who died. An estate is the sum of a person's money, property and possessions.

If the person who died left a will, they will have named an executor. This is the person responsible for dealing with the estate.

This involves tasks like:

Shutting down accounts
Sorting out assets
Paying off debts
Cancelling payments

To get a death certificate, you must contact the General Register Office (GRO). You can request a death certificate online, over the phone or by post.

In England and Wales, a death certificate costs £12.50 (with an extra £3.50 if you don't have a GRO index reference number). It will be sent to you four days after your application has been received. A green form, by contrast, is free of charge and is sent to you automatically.

AFD is a team of independent funeral directors based in London. We provide gentle, step-by-step guidance to help you plan the funeral you want. Do you need our support? Please call whenever you're ready on 020 8355 7876. Our lines are open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.

Funeral eulogy ideas: 5 pre-written examples to help spark ideas

Sat, 29 Nov 2025 22:01:01 GMT

Have you been tasked with writing a funeral eulogy? Explore 5 examples to help you get started.

Most funerals include a eulogy. This is a speech written to honour the life of the person who died and express sorrow at their passing.

A typical eulogy is delivered by a close family member or friend. It often includes details about the person's life, their qualities and values and the impact they had on those around them.

Being asked to write a eulogy is an honour – but it's not one that comes naturally to most people. You only have to search for "help writing a eulogy" online to see how many people look for guidance in this task.

We won't give general writing tips in this article. Instead, we provide you with five pre-written examples of eulogies. These five excerpts represent different parts of the eulogy.

Writing a eulogy isn't always easy – but it can help give a person you loved the send-off they deserve. We hope these examples help you with the writing process.

Example one: Grace (introducing a eulogy)

Good afternoon, everyone. My name is Louise, and most of you here will know me as Grace's daughter. On behalf of all our family, I want to thank you all for being here today to remember Mum and to celebrate her life.

Mum was always popular, so it's only fitting that so many of you have come to honour her memory today. I know that she would appreciate such a generous turnout. On her behalf, I'd like to extend special thanks to those of you who've travelled far to be here.

Example two: Amy (sharing details about the person's life)

Amy was born in Kings Heath, Birmingham, in 1956. She lived, learned and played there for 16 years. Those who knew her at that time remember her kindness and humour. But above all, they remember her ambition.

It was clear from her school days that Amy wanted to succeed. Of course, her picture of success changed rapidly. One day, she wanted to be a marine biologist; the next, a concert flautist. But whatever the object of her ambitions, she threw herself into her interests with enthusiasm.

This appetite for hard work is a hallmark of Amy's life. It can be seen in everything from her career as a cancer researcher to her parenting, from her involvement in local groups and clubs to her annual half-marathons. No one who knew Amy could deny that when she wanted something, she went for it with all her energy.

Example three: Rohit (describing the person's qualities and values)

What kind of a person was Rohit? Everyone here will remember him differently. But speaking to family and friends since his passing, one word kept coming up: courage.

Rohit wasn't somebody who could sit by when he saw someone being mistreated. He would always intervene kindly but firmly. He carried this passion for justice into his extensive involvement in local politics.

He was also modest. We might see Rohit as someone who stuck his neck out and took risks. But he saw it as something that just had to be done.

I'll never forget seeing Rohit interviewed on the local news in the run-up to his election as councillor. He was articulate, fearless and kind. This is the side of Rohit that has always inspired me and which has been uppermost in my thoughts since his passing.

Example four: Jayne (describing the person's impact on the people around them)

Jayne once told me that her biggest fear was "sitting on the rocks". That was a phrase she used to describe sitting apart from people – away from the action and away from the fun. Instead, she wanted a peopled life – and boy, did she have one.

Many of you here today will know Jayne from her love of painting: the workshops, exhibitions and friendships that grew out of her abiding love for oil on canvas.

Jayne was an inspiring teacher. Some remember her as gently encouraging, others as fiercely critical. But whatever tone she took, you were always sure of one thing. To Jayne, painting mattered – and the people she painted with mattered, too.

She was also someone you could turn to for help. She would always lend a listening ear and offer material support when she could. She didn't just want a peopled life for herself. She wanted to do all she could to ensure the people around her were also living their lives to the fullest.

Example five: Maxim (finishing the eulogy)

Sadly, the time has come to say goodbye to Maxim. He is gone but never forgotten. We will carry forward his memory not only in our hearts but also in our thoughts and actions.

Maxim brightened our days and touched the lives of everybody in this room. As a father, husband, firefighter and friend, he made the world around him a better place to be.

Goodbye, Maxim – and thank you for everything you were. You will be sorely missed.

Frequently asked questions:

AFD is an independent funeral director based in Edgware, North London. We work with people from all walks of life and offer a compassionate listening ear at all stages of the process. If you need our support, please don't hesitate to call . Our lines are open 24/7.

How much does a funeral celebrant cost in the UK?

Mon, 24 Nov 2025 08:12:54 GMT

When arranging a funeral, you may choose to pay for a celebrant. Find out how much this is likely to cost.

When a person dies, there are many different costs to think about. That includes the funeral venue, as well as optional extras like the wake, flowers, transport and funeral celebrant fee.

Together, these costs make up the "cost of dying". According to the SunLife 2025 Cost of Dying report , this currently stands at £9,797.

The majority of this figure is taken up by the burial and cremation arrangements. But you may also want to pay a celebrant to lead the ceremony. This can be paid for out of the estate of the person who died, using a funeral plan or from the family's pocket.

How much does a funeral celebrant cost in the UK?

For up-to-date figures, we can turn to the Academy of Modern Celebrancy's State of Play Report 2025/26 . According to the report, "funeral celebrant fees typically range from £200 to £600 per ceremony, although many celebrants earn between £220 and £250 when working through funeral director referrals".

This quote points to the fact that celebrants can be booked directly by the family or with the help of a funeral director. The former, the report notes, is especially common for direct cremations and natural burials. However, a funeral director can also arrange a celebrant for these types of alternative funerals .

How much does a pet funeral celebrant cost?

The report also says that pet funerals are "a rapidly growing niche, driven by the UK's pet ownership boom". Today, 59% of all households in the UK own pets – a figure reflected in the growth of pet funerals.

If you want a celebrant for a pet funeral, the report says, you're likely to spend somewhere between £150 and £400.

Are costs different for different kinds of funeral celebrants?

There are many different kinds of funeral celebrants. Some work at eco-funerals and natural burial grounds. Some specialise in interfaith ceremonies. And some make appearances at festivals and other non-traditional funeral events.

The Academy of Modern Celebrancy report doesn't distinguish between the costs of these different kinds of celebrants. It seems that whatever the nature of the ceremony, a celebrant will cost between £200 and £600.

Who pays for the funeral celebrant?

The funeral celebrant fee will usually be paid for in one of three ways:

Out of the estate of the person who died
From a pre-paid funeral plan or life insurance plan taken out by the person who died
By the family

If you receive certain benefits, you may qualify for a Funeral Expenses Payment from the government. This payment doesn't, however, specifically cover funeral celebrant fees.

AFD is an independent London funeral director . We work with people from all faiths and lend a listening ear at all stages of the process. Let us help you arrange the funeral you want. Call any time on 020 8355 7876 – our lines are always open.

What to write in a condolence book

Mon, 10 Nov 2025 07:55:51 GMT

When a person dies, you may be asked to sign a condolence book. If you're not sure what to write, our guide can help.

A condolence book is a book that mourners can write in. You're most likely to see one at a funeral, although people sometimes pass them round at a workplace, retirement home, hospice or even family home.

The purpose of a condolence book is to record memories and tributes to the person who has died. This is then kept as a keepsake by the family. It's something they can return to for comfort and as a reminder of how loved the person was.

Like many aspects of grief and funerals, people are sometimes unsure about what to write. You might worry about writing too much or too little. You may worry that you're writing in clichés. Or you may worry that you've got the tone wrong.

Don't worry – this is completely normal. That's why we've put together this guide to condolence books and what to write in them. We hope it helps.

What are condolences?

The word "condolence" comes from the Latin con , meaning "with", and dolore , meaning "sorrow". In other words, a condolence is an expression of sympathy with someone who is suffering.

Condolences can be expressed in different ways. You could send a sympathy card, an old-fashioned letter or even a text message. A condolence book is a way of sharing sympathies provided by the family of the person who has died.

There are no hard and fast rules about what to write in a condolence book. But in our view, it's usually best to keep it simple.

Keeping it simple

When expressing sympathy, a few words go a long way.

That's partly because the tried-and-tested phrases are tried-and-tested for a reason. "My deepest condolences" or "Thinking of you" may seem impersonal. However, they express a simple feeling in a simple and powerful way.

But there's another reason to keep things simple. If the person who died knew many people, there are likely to be lots of messages in the condolence book. You don't want to take up too much space. After all, the condolence book is for the family – not for you.

We're not saying there's a right number of words to use. In fact, the length of your entry in the condolence book may depend on your relationship with the person who died.

What is your relation to the person who died?

If you were very close to the person who died, it may be appropriate to share a personal memory, a quote or a short poem.

If, on the other hand, you didn't know the person who died especially well, you may want to keep your message brief.

It can be helpful to look at other people's messages. What kinds of entries have close family members and friends written? You may want to use these examples to help decide what to write for your own message.

What to write in a condolence book: general tips

The main thing to remember when writing in a condolence book is what the condolence book is for.

First, it's a place for people to remember the person who died. But secondly – and perhaps most importantly – it's for the family.

Once the funeral is over, the condolence book will go home with the family. That means you want your message to be something that the family would want to read.

At the very least, you should include an expression of sympathy. This can be extremely simple or could be personalised.

One risk when expressing condolences is to make it about you, not them. You can avoid this by focusing on references to the family and the person who died. How many times have you written "I" compared to "you", "they", "he" and "she"?

If you feel it would be appropriate, you could include a comforting quote or part of a poem. This can show thoughtfulness. But you should be mindful not to take up too much space with someone else's words. Most of the time, it's best to keep it short and personal.

If you're worried that your message is too impersonal, it can be a good idea to refer to the person who died by name. This is a simple but effective way of creating a personalised tone.

At the end of the day, a short and personalised message is hard to get wrong. If in doubt, keep it short and respectful.

Frequently asked questions

AFD is a team of independent Harrow funeral directors . For more than 15 years, our experienced and compassionate team has helped families in London arrange the funerals they want. If you need our support, please don't hesitate to call on 020 8355 7876. Our lines are always open.

What happens when a cemetery is full?

Fri, 07 Nov 2025 08:10:03 GMT

Cemeteries can run out of space for new burials. Learn what happens when a cemetery or burial ground gets full.

All cemeteries will eventually run out of space. When they do, there are no new burial plots available. This leads some cemeteries to close or be converted into beauty spots or areas for rewilding. In some parts of the UK, the available land for burial is limited.

This can be a problem for people who don't want to consider cremation, whether because of their faith, environmental considerations or some other reason.

In this article, we consider what happens when different kinds of cemeteries are full.

Family-owned plots

A family-owned plot is an area of land in a cemetery where multiple members of the same family can be buried together.

In many cases, burials are still possible in family-owned plots even when a cemetery has run out of space. As in any other cemetery, you just need exclusive rights of burial (permission to bury a person's body in the plot).

Council-owned cemeteries

If a council-owned cemetery runs out of space, the council will often continue to look after the site. The council may turn it into a rewilding area or public beauty spot. An example of a cemetery being used as a beauty spot is St Sepulchre's Cemetery in Oxford .

According to The Times, one in six councils will run out of space in their cemeteries by 2026 . Possible solutions to this problem include building above-ground burial crypts and increasing the number of natural burial sites.

Councils often take responsibility for churchyards in their area, as well as cemeteries under their ownership.

Private cemeteries

When privately managed cemeteries run out of space, they stop selling new burial plots. They might buy more land and expand the cemetery. Alternatively, they might invest in niches or above-ground mausoleums.

A private cemetery might also promote cremation. This is often accompanied by the sale of urns and memorial markers.

Are graves reused?

In the UK, the House of Commons Library says, "The general position is that buried human remains may not be disturbed without specific authority." That means that you needn't worry about a person's body being removed to make space for a new burial.

However, burial authorities can "reclaim" private graves purchased more than 75 years ago. If this happens, the plot will be used for another burial. However, the original burial won't be removed to make way for the new coffin.

The rules on grave reuse are slightly different in Scotland. In neither case, however, are they likely to be a factor when looking for a burial plot for a loved one.

What is a green burial?

A green burial, sometimes known as a natural burial , is where a person's body is buried in a green space such as a meadow or woodland. These are an increasingly popular choice, partly because of the lack of space in cemeteries and the rising cost of burials.

Akshardham Funeral Directors is a London-based independent funeral home. For more information and advice, follow our blog or read our funeral planning guides .

50s funeral songs: our favourite memorial music from the 1950s

Mon, 03 Nov 2025 08:29:49 GMT

If you're arranging a funeral for an older person, you may want some songs from the 1950s. Hear 10 powerful and nostalgic tracks.

When arranging a funeral, loved ones often choose music to be played.

Sometimes, the choices make themselves: if, for instance, the person who died had a favourite song, artist or genre.

At other times, however, it can be tricky to decide on the right song. This is especially true if you don't know much about the person's taste or the music they loved.

Here at Akshardham Funeral Directors, we believe there are no right or wrong ways to grieve. So, it follows that there are no right or wrong song choices. If the song rings true for you and would ring true for the person who has died, you're on the right track.

Nevertheless, you may be looking for some guidance in choosing a song. For that reason, we've put together this guide to 10 songs from the 1950s that could be suitable for a funeral. We hope it helps.

1. "You Belong to Me" by Jo Stafford (1952)

This gentle ballad with its swelling horns and shivering xylophone expresses a simple but powerful sentiment. Wherever her loved one goes, he belongs to her:

See the pyramids along the Nile
And watch the sunrise on a tropic isle
Just remember, darling, all the while
You belong to me

The classic version by Jo Stafford is delivered with a dreamlike yet powerful vocal. There's also a breathier, woozier version by Peggy Lee .

2. "Love Me Tender" by Elvis Presley

This song needs no introduction. It's a simple and unforgettable love ballad.

We think "Love Me Tender" would perfectly suit the funeral of someone who grew up in the 1950s or has a passion for 1950s music.

3. "Que Sera, Sera (Whatever Will Be, Will Be)" by Doris Day (1956)

This song by American actor and singer Doris Day popularised the phrase que sera, sera – Spanish for "what will be, will be". It can be a comforting thought at a time of loss.

Each verse is a chapter from the singer's life story: "When I was just a little girl", "When I grew up and fell in love" and "Now I have children of my own".

She asks what lies ahead, and the chorus replies:

Que sera, sera
Whatever will be, will be
The future's not ours to see

4. "Tennessee Waltz" by Patti Page (1950)

This signature song by American country-pop singer Patti Page has a dreamlike quality that sounds like it's being broadcast straight from the past.

The song is about the singer losing her darling to the strains of the Tennessee Waltz. The echoey sound and harmonised vocals add to the sense of loss and nostalgia:

I remember the night and the Tennessee Waltz
Now I know just how much I have lost
Yes, I lost my little darling on the night they were playing
The beautiful Tennessee Waltz

5. "Only You (And You Alone)" by The Platters (1954)

The Platters were an influential group in the early days of doo-wop and rock and roll. This classic love ballad features a powerful vocal that swoops, soars and cracks with emotion:

When you hold my hand, I understand the magic that you do
You're my dream come true, my one and only you

6. "True Love Ways" by Buddy Holly

With its tender vocal, heart-tugging melody and dreamy instrumentation, "True Love Ways" could make a reflective and moving addition to a funeral programme.

Just you know why
Why you and I, will by and by
Know true love ways

7. "All I Have to Do Is Dream" by the Everly Brothers (1958)

For some, this song is the sound of the 1950s. Its trembling electric guitars and close vocal harmonies instantly conjure up the era.

But "All I Have to Do is Dream" doesn't just sum up the decade. It also sums up a feeling of youthful longing that could be appropriate at the funeral of someone who had been in a partnership for many decades:

When I want you in my arms
When I want you and all your charms
Whenever I want you
All I have to do is dream

8. "Where or When" by Dion and the Belmonts (1959)

This song by the New York vocal quartet Dion and the Belmonts is full of tenderness. It describes a couple experiencing déjà vu . Surely they've met before?

It seems we stood and talked like this before
We looked at each other in the same way then
But I can't remember where or when

9. "Sleep Walk" by Santo and Johnny (1959)

With "Sleep Walk", brothers Santo and Johnny Farina created a nostalgic instrumental that's as 1950s as a white picket fence.

Led by acoustic guitar and pedal steel, it's a throwback that's bound to pull at the heartstrings.

10. "Ev'ry Time We Say Goodbye" by Ella Fitzgerald

Nicknamed "the Queen of Jazz" and "the First Lady of Song", Ella Fitzgerald has an unforgettable voice perfectly suited to this simple, heartfelt song of farewell:

Every time we say goodbye, I die a little
Every time we say goodbye, I wonder why a little

AFD is a team of independent funeral directors based in London. We work with people from all faiths and walks of life to arrange the funerals that feel right for them. Do you need our support? Please call on 020 8355 7876 or get in touch online . We're here to help, 24/7.

Cremation vs burial: costs and differences explained

Fri, 31 Oct 2025 07:34:34 GMT

Cremation and burial are the two most common ways to put a person to rest in the UK. Learn how they're different and how the cost compares.

There are two main ways to put a person's body to rest when they pass away. The first is burial , and the second is cremation .

By "burial", we mean a person's body being buried in a grave. By "cremation", we mean a person's body being turned to ash.

In 2025, 55% of all send-offs were simple attended cremations with a funeral service. But many loved ones of all faiths and walks of life still choose burial. And increasing numbers of people choose an unattended cremation known as a "direct cremation" .

Several factors can influence the choice. There's the cost. There are religious considerations, with some faiths forbidding or disapproving of cremation. There are the different ways a person can be memorialised after cremation and burial. And there's the environmental impact of each.

Here at Akshardham Funeral Directors, we offer both services and are often asked what the most important differences are. That's why we've put together this guide breaking down the key differences, including the costs. We hope it helps.

What are the differences between cremation and burial?

Nowadays, we're all feeling squeezed by the cost of living. So, it's only natural that cost will play a part in deciding whether to give a loved one a cremation or a burial.

Cremation is typically less expensive than burial. An unattended direct cremation is the most cost-effective of all. Burials tend to be more expensive because you have to pay for the rights to a burial plot and a coffin. You might also want to pay for a headstone or another type of memorial.

Cost is far from the only consideration, however. There's also the way a person can be memorialised after their send-off.

After a cremation, loved ones can scatter ashes, keep the ashes in an urn or even turn them into memorial jewellery. After a burial, loved ones can visit the grave – although cremated remains can also be buried in a grave plot.

Not all religions approve of cremation. In some religions, it depends on the denomination you belong to.

Finally, there's the environmental impact. Both burial and cremation impact the environment. If this is important to you, it's worth weighing up how much impact each might have.

How much do burials and cremations cost?

The SunLife Cost of Dying report 2025 contains helpful statistics about burials and cremations.

It includes the "average cost of dying", which it defines as "the total cost of a person's send-off – including professional fees for administering the estate, a simple funeral service, and all optional extras like the party or wake". It puts this figure at £9,797.

The report gives the average cost of a burial as £5,198, the average cost of a cremation at £3,980, the average cost of a direct cremation at £1,527 and the average cost of a direct burial at £4,285. Together, these figures make an average cost of cremation or burial at £4,825.

What are the environmental impacts of burial and cremation?

Both cremation and burial have environmental impacts. These aren't easy to measure, covering everything from transport to flowers, from the clothing worn by the person who died to the material used to make the coffin.

The environmental impact of burial

The main environmental impact of burials is the fact that a body takes up more space than ashes. This can make it difficult to find a suitable resting place.

Other impacts related to burial include the environmentally unfriendly effects of some embalming chemicals on the soil and the use of unsustainable materials for coffins.

One way to reduce the environmental impact of burial is to choose a natural burial . This is where the person is buried in a forest or meadow using an environmentally friendly coffin or shroud.

The environmental impact of cremation

Cremated ashes use up less space than a buried body. However, the cremation process itself is carbon-intensive.

It takes around two hours to cremate a person's body. This involves maintaining a high level of heat, which releases harmful greenhouse gases into the atmosphere.

In case the environment is a concern, there are alternative forms of cremation to explore.

One is called "resomation" (sometimes referred to as "aquamation" ). This is where a person's body is placed in a pressurised stainless steel chamber and cremated in a mixture of water and an alkaline solution.

At the time of writing, resomation isn't available in the UK. It is, however, slowly being adopted in other parts of the world.

Cremation vs burial statistics

According to SunLife , 55% of send-offs in 2024 were simple attended cremations with a service. Meanwhile, 20% were direct cremations and 25% were burials. Around two percent of these burials are direct burials, where the person is buried without a funeral service.

What are the faith considerations around cremation and burial?

The world's religions have different beliefs about cremation and burial. These often vary within religions.

We can't cover them all here. However, here are some of the key beliefs of different faiths.

Generally speaking, Christians allow cremation. There are variations, however. Eastern Orthodox Christians forbid cremation. The Catholic Church allows for cremation but not the scattering of ashes.

Hindus, Buddhists, Jainists and Sikhs all practise cremation. In Hinduism, adults are cremated and children are buried. Sikhs often scatter the ashes of loved ones over a body of water.

Islam strictly forbids cremation on the grounds that it shows disrespect to the dead. It's also forbidden by the Baháʼí Faith.

Like Christianity, Judaism has seen a shift in funeral practices over the years. Cremation used to be forbidden. These days, it's allowed by some but not all branches of Judaism.

Religious customs can affect burial as well as cremation. In Islam and Judaism, for instance, the body is usually buried within 24 hours of death. In Christianity, by contrast, the burial typically takes place around a week later.

Are you planning a burial or cremation in London ? At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we listen to your needs and offer gentle, step-by-step advice to help you arrange the funeral you want. Please call at any time on 020 8355 7876 – our lines are always open.

6 decoration ideas for a celebration of life

Fri, 24 Oct 2025 07:59:28 GMT

Are you looking for decoration ideas for a celebration of life? We can help. Explore 6 powerful ideas in our guide.

Traditional burials and cremations are still in high demand. But in 2025, there's more choice than ever when it comes to saying goodbye.

Perhaps the best example of this is the celebration of life. Funerals and cremations are traditionally sombre affairs. But a celebration of life does things differently. Instead of mourning a death, it celebrates the life and achievements of the person who died.

People choose celebrations of life for all sorts of reasons. Generally speaking, however, there are two key reasons. First, people want to celebrate as well as grieve. And secondly, a celebration of life can be personalised in a way that even modern funerals can't.

A celebration of life puts the person first. It doesn't follow a rulebook or any guidelines. This means every aspect of the event can be personalised.

This is one of the key attractions of a celebration of life. But it can also mean that the organisers are stuck for ideas. When there are no limits, where do you start?

Perhaps the main thing to keep in mind when arranging a celebration of life is that it's all about the person: their loves, their passions, their personality, their relationships and their achievements. These should be reflected in your decorations.

It's also worth remembering that a funeral director can help you arrange a celebration of life. They can flesh out ideas and offer suggestions to organise the celebration of life your loved one deserves.

Here, then, are six decoration ideas for a celebration of life. We hope it helps.

1. Memory tables

A memory table is one of the simplest decoration ideas for a celebration of life. This is a table with photos and other mementoes for guests to look at.

These mementoes could be possessions that belonged to the person who died. They could include ornaments, jewellery, kitchenware – anything that helps paint a picture of the person.

Alternatively, these mementoes could be gifts from guests or the organisers that have personal meaning.

A memory table is a simple concept, but it can be personalised in detail. Why not think about what kinds of objects could tell the story you want to tell?

2. Displays

At a celebration of life, a memory table can be complemented by a display. This could be a noticeboard stuck with pictures, quotes and other keepsakes.

You could have a clothes rail hung with clothes that reflect their personality. There could be a flower display showing their favourite flowers, colours or smells. You could even include a piece of furniture that says something about them.

As with the memory table, the main thing is to showcase the person's hobbies, passions and personality. Ask yourself if the display makes you remember the person's life. If yes, it could make a suitable addition to your decorations.

3. Guest book station

A celebration of life can be a way to share memories. This is often done through speeches. But it can also be done through a guest book.

Guests can be invited to add memories, condolences, messages and thoughts to the guest book. Alternatively, they could write notes on paper and put them in a memory box or stick them to a noticeboard.

If it reflects the personality of the person who died, you could set up a typewriter and let people add their thoughts.

A guest book station of this kind serves a couple of purposes. First, it can make people feel more included. And secondly, it creates new memories – ones that can be shared long after the celebration of life is over.

4. Slideshows

Slideshows are common at funerals – and they can make a moving addition to a celebration of life, too.

Like memory tables and displays, slideshows can be designed by one person or designed collaboratively. You could, for instance, invite people to contribute photos, quotes and memories to be included in the slideshow. This can help create a sense of community at a time of loss.

The slideshow can be projected onto a wall or played on a screen. It can be left running on a loop or shown at a specific time during the event.

5. Decor

This one is general. However, like our other suggestions, it can be highly personalised.

Pictures, artwork, flowers – all can help communicate the life, personality and interests of the person who died.

You could include books or records they loved. You could hang fabrics in their football team's colours. It all adds up to the same effect: a celebration of a life in all its uniqueness.

6. Lighting

A celebration of life often has a party-like atmosphere. For this reason, many people choose bright lighting. But if you want something more reflective, you could have candles or another kind of soft lighting. You could also have coloured lighting in the person's favourite colours.

Lighting can make a huge difference to the ambience of an event, so it's well worth considering if you're thinking about decorations.

Frequently asked questions

Are you planning a celebration of life funeral in London? We're here to provide gentle, expert guidance so you can plan a send-off at your pace. Contact Akshardham Funeral Directors whenever you're ready on 020 8355 7876. Our lines are always open.

Can you be buried on your own property in the UK?

Mon, 20 Oct 2025 15:35:28 GMT

Can you bury someone in your garden? The answer is yes – but it's not always straightforward. Learn the key facts about home burial.

Traditional funerals are becoming less common. Nowadays, more and more people are choosing personalised send-offs, such as themed funerals and celebrations of life .

You might already know about these alternative funeral ceremonies . But did you also know there are unique ways to put a person's body to rest? That includes options like woodland burial , burial at sea and burying a person's body at home.

That's right. UK law says you can bury a person on your property. However, it's not always straightforward. That's why it's worth doing your research and making arrangements in advance if this is something you'd like for your own funeral.

In this guide, we look at the legal and practical considerations around burial at home. We hope it helps you make the right choice for the funeral you're planning.

UK laws and regulations on home burial

It's perfectly legal to bury a person's body on private property in the UK. Or, to put it another way, there's no law against home burial in England, Scotland, Wales or Northern Ireland.

However, the burial must follow a few rules and regulations. In England and Wales, these are:

You must have permission from the landowner.

You must make sure there are no restrictive covenants on the property.

You must take certain environmental precautions.

You must get a burial certificate from your local register office.

You must keep a burial register in a safe place.

There are practical considerations, too, such as what might happen if you move house. So, while home burial might seem simple, there are actually quite a few things to consider. That's one reason why they're not very common in the UK.

Let's look at these rules, regulations and considerations in more detail.

Getting permission from the landowner

You can bury a person on your property without permission – but only if you're the landowner.

If you rent your house, you must get permission from your landlord. You should ask for their permission in writing.

Considering restrictive covenants

Restrictive covenants are rules in property contracts that stop you from doing certain things on the property. Examples include:

Running a business from the property
Causing noise or nuisance
Parking caravans
Building certain things or in certain places
There may be restrictive covenants on your property that would prevent you from burying a person there. These covenants may or may not refer directly to burial, so it's important to read your contracts carefully. If in doubt, get advice from a property lawyer.

Taking environmental precautions

It's important to make sure the burial doesn't interfere with the local environment. That's why the Environment Agency has rules about burials that you must follow. These include:

The grave must be at least 10 metres from dry ditches and field drains.
It must be at least 30 metres from water sources (including standing water, running water and springs).
If there's water nearby that's used for anything, the grave must be at least 50 metres from the water source. That includes wells, springs and boreholes.

Getting a burial certificate

Before you can bury a person on your property, you must get a certificate from the local register office. This certificate is commonly known as 'the green form'. Its proper name is the Certificate of Authority for Burial.

You'll get this certificate when you register the person's death. Usually, you'd hand it to your funeral director, who'd then pass it on to the cemetery or burial ground. With home burials, however, the person responsible for the burial should keep the certificate.

There's a slip at the bottom of the certificate. You must fill out this slip and return it to the register office within 96 hours of the burial.

Keeping a burial register

As the property owner, you must keep a record of the burial. This is called a 'burial register'.

It doesn't have to be anything fancy. A few slips of paper will do. What's important is that you keep it in a safe place so you can retrieve it if and when you need to.

The burial register must include:

The name and details of the person who died.
The date of the burial.
The location of the burial.
A plan showing where the person is buried on the property.

Practical considerations

As well as following rules and regulations, you also need to consider a few practical points. For instance:

What if you sell your house? You'll need to let the buyer know about the burial. You might also want to make arrangements so you and others can visit the grave. Both these things could put off a potential buyer.
What about your property value? It's difficult to say whether a home burial will affect the value of your property, or by how much. But it's something to consider if you might sell in future.
Do you have the help you need? Digging a grave is hard work. You'll probably want to ask a few trusted friends to help. It's also a good idea to give yourself plenty of time. It might take longer than you think.
Will it attract attention? There's nothing wrong with burying a person at home, but it's quite uncommon. That's why it's worth letting your neighbours and the local police know about your plans. That way, everyone knows what's happening, and you won't attract unwanted attention.

Can you bury someone in your garden without planning permission?

Yes. You might be surprised to learn that you don't always need planning permission to bury a loved one at home. You do, however, still need to get a burial certificate from your local register office.

It all depends on how many people will be buried in your garden. If you're planning to dig one grave, that usually won't require planning permission. But if you want to create a memorial garden with several burials, you should seek planning permission from your local council.

That's because of a concept called 'material change of use'. In other words, a garden with one grave is still a garden. But a garden with multiple graves could be considered a cemetery. In the eyes of the council, the use of the land has changed, and planning permission will likely be required.

In any case, it's a good idea to contact the council if you're planning a home burial. This is so you can discuss environmental matters with them and make sure you're following all the rules.

Do you need help arranging a funeral in Greater London? AFD is a Harrow funeral home staffed by compassionate experts. We're here around the clock to provide step-by-step guidance and support. Please get in touch whenever you're ready – our lines are open 24/7.

Songs for a husband's funeral: music for the loss of a spouse

Fri, 17 Oct 2025 20:52:14 GMT

Are you looking for songs to play at your husband's funeral? We're here to help. Here are 8 varied selections to consider.

It's customary for there to be music at the funeral of a loved one – and the funeral of a husband is no exception.

It's not always easy, however, to decide on a song. Many people worry that they'll make the "wrong" choice.

The important thing to know is that there are no "right" or "wrong" music choices. If the type of funeral you're planning allows music, you're free to choose whatever feels like a good fit for you and your husband.

Nevertheless, many people look for guidance when choosing a song. We hope this list of 8 songs for a husband's funeral helps you make a choice that's right for you.

Funeral songs for the loss of a husband

1. "You Are The Sunshine of My Life" by Stevie Wonder

We begin with a soulful pop classic from the legendary Stevie Wonder. The music is breezy, and the lyrics are sincere:

You are the sunshine of my life
That's why I'll always be around
You are the apple of my eye
Forever you'll stay in my heart

With its group vocals and burbling electric piano, "You Are The Sunshine of My Life" might work well as a celebration of your husband's life.

2. "If You Hadn't Been There" by Dolly Parton

Released in 2025, this heartfelt song by the Queen of Country was released in tribute to her late husband, Carl Dean. As she said on social media:

"We have spent 60 precious and meaningful years together. Like all great love stories, they never end. They live on in memory and song. He will always be the star of my life story, and I dedicate this song to him."

It's a stirring country ballad about "The ups and downs / We've always shared" and how "I wouldn't be here / If you hadn't been there".

3. "One Sweet Day" by Mariah Carey and Boyz II Men

In 1995, American singer-songwriter Mariah Carey lost her friend David Cole. That same year, she released this tribute with the vocal group Boyz II Men.

It's a big, bold R&B ballad that describes how much the person is missed – and how they know they'll be reunited after death:

And I know you're shining down on me from Heaven
Like so many friends we've lost along the way
And I know eventually we'll be together
One sweet day

4. "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" from Life of Brian

Not all funeral songs have to be sombre. If the person who died had an irrepressible spirit – or a cheeky sense of humour – then a comedy song can be appropriate.

A classic in this genre is Monty Python's "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life" from their 1979 film Life of Brian .

Now a staple at football matches as well as funerals, it's a tongue-in-cheek tune about staying strong when things get tough:

You'll see it's all a show
Keep 'em laughin' as you go
Just remember that the last laugh is on you
And
Always look on the bright side of life

5. "Keep Me in Your Heart" by Warren Zevon

Warren Zevon was known for his dark sense of humour. But his 2003 track "Keep Me in Your Heart" is a simple and heartfelt song delivered with raw power:

Sometimes when you're doin' simple things around the house
Maybe you'll think of me and smile
You know I'm tied to you like the buttons on your blouse
Keep me in your heart for a while

It's a moving tune about love and loss that could be a suitable song for grieving the loss of a husband.

6. "You Can Close Your Eyes" by James Taylor

James Taylor's "You Can Close Your Eyes" is described by many listeners as a lullaby and by its writer as a "secular hymn". It's a gentle, elegant song made up from just acoustic guitars and vocals:

So close your eyes
You can close your eyes, it's alright
I don't know no love songs
And I can't sing the blues anymore
But I can sing this song
And you can sing this song when I'm gone

Taylor wrote the song for his third album, Mud Slide Slim and the Blue Horizon ( 1971). It has since been covered by Carly Simon, Linda Ronstadt, Sheryl Crow, Sting and others.

7. "I Only Have Eyes for You" by The Flamingos

With its memorable "Shabop shabop" refrain, this classic love song by The Flamingos has a dreamlike feel and romantic lyrics:

Are the stars out tonight?
I don't know if it's cloudy or bright
I only have eyes for you

It's a simple and tender song that could convey love for a spouse at a funeral.

It was later a hit single for the folk singer Art Garfunkel.

8. "Death Is Not the End" by Bob Dylan

Taken from his 1988 album Down in the Groove , "Death Is Not the End" is a simple, gentle and consoling song.

When you're sad and when you're lonely and you haven't got a friend
Just remember that death is not the end
And all that you've held sacred, falls down and does not mend
Just remember that death is not the end

It's a modern-day spiritual song that offers comfort "In dark and empty skies". The song has also been covered by The Waterboys and Nick Cave.

We hope this guide helped you choose the right funeral song for your spouse. If you need support to arrange a funeral service in London , please don't hesitate to contact us. We offer gentle, step-by-step guidance to help you plan the funeral you want. Call whenever you're ready on 020 8355 7876 – our lines are always open.

What is Death Cafe?

Mon, 13 Oct 2025 07:12:13 GMT

People want to talk about death – but they don't always know how or where. Find out how Death Cafes can help.

When a person dies, those left behind often want to talk about their feelings. The same goes for people who are worried about death – whether their own, someone else's or just the idea of it.

But it's not always easy for people to talk about death in any detail. It can often feel like a taboo subject and lead people to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable.

This is where Death Cafes come in. These are casual events where people get together for tea and cake and talk about death.

It's not a chain of cafes – in fact, a Death Cafe doesn't have to take place in a cafe. It could be held in someone's home, a restaurant, a rented hall – pretty much anywhere.

And while it might sound daunting to talk to strangers about death over tea and cake, you might be surprised how many enjoy the experience.

What is a Death Cafe?

A Death Cafe is an event where people get together to talk about death over tea and cake. Some are designed for specific groups such as healthcare professionals, but most are open to all.

It's not a support group and isn't meant to replace bereavement therapy. It's not a way for researchers to find out about how people feel about death. And it's not a place to give people information about death and dying.

Instead, it's a safe space where people can talk about a subject they might otherwise feel unable to. It's all about open discussion in a safe and welcoming environment.

St Albans Museum has described it as "a group directed discussion of death with no agenda, objectives or themes. It is a discussion group rather than a grief support or counselling session."

St Joseph's Hospice has similar things to say. It notes that "Death Cafes aren't therapy sessions", adding that they're not "intended to push a particular agenda or philosophy".

"Instead," they go on, " they're about normalising the conversation around death, making it part of life rather than a subject to be avoided. By acknowledging the inevitable, we can live more fully and meaningfully."

St Joseph's Hospice also includes a number of reviews from participants. These range from "moving and enlightening" to a "relief". One reviewer perhaps sums it up best: "I never thought I would say this, but it is lovely to be able to talk about death…"

Where are Death Cafes held?

A Death Cafe is an event, not a location. They're held everywhere from homes to restaurants, from art galleries to yurts.

They began life in Switzerland, where they were held "in salons, bistros and private houses" . Since then, they've been held in the UK, USA, Hong Kong and elsewhere. In German-speaking areas, a Death Cafe is called Cafe Totentanz or Totentanz-Cafe (literally "dance of Death Cafe").

You can find your nearest Death Cafe on deathcafe.com . You could also consult Eventbrite or another listings sites. You can also hold your own .

Who can come to a Death Cafe?

Anyone can go to a Death Cafe. They're not aimed at a particular religious group or age group.

You don't have to be grieving or expecting to die. The only rule for admission is wanting to have an open discussion about death.

Occasionally a Death Cafe will be held for a specific group. There have been events held for healthcare professionals, for example. Unless otherwise specified, however, a Death Cafe is open to all.

Where did Death Cafes originate?

The idea of a Death Cafe was introduced by the Swiss sociologist and anthropologist Bernard Crettaz. He organised the first event of its kind in 2005 in Neuchâtel, Switzerland before bringing it to Paris.

In 2010, he published his book on the subject, Cafés Mortels: Sortir la Mort du Silence ("Death Cafes: Bringing Death out of Silence") .

His aim, he said, was to break the "tyrannical secrecy" that stops people talking about death. "The assembled company," he wrote, "for a moment, and thanks to death, is born into authenticity."

British web developer Jon Underwood was inspired by Crettaz and brought Death Cafes to London in 2011. He also launched the Death Cafe website .

Since then, Death Cafes have also inspired menopause cafes, where people talk about issues surrounding menopause. The first of its kind was held in Perth, Scotland. Since then, they've taken place all over the world.

Running your own Death Cafe

Death Cafe is a "free affiliate scheme", as it says on the Death Cafe website . That means anyone can hold a Death Cafe if they sign up to the organisation's principles. The four principles are:

The event is offered "with no intention of leading participants to any conclusion, product or course of action." In other words, you can't use it to promote ideas or things.
A Death Cafe event is "an open, respectful and confidential space where people can express their views safely".
A Death Cafe event is not for profit.
Death Cafe will offer "refreshing drinks and nourishing food – and cake!"

For more information, take a look at the guidelines on the Death Cafe website.

Frequently asked questions

AFD is a team of independent funeral directors based in Edgware, North London. We are available around the clock to offer compassionate, step-by-step funeral planning support. Please call at any time – 020 8355 7876.

How long does a funeral last?

Fri, 10 Oct 2025 08:01:41 GMT

If you're attending or arranging a funeral, you might want to know how long it will last. Find out in our guide.

If you haven't been to a funeral before, you're probably wondering what to expect.

Will there be readings? How many people will be there? Will there be an alternative dress code? These are just some of the questions you might ask yourself before a funeral service.

Another is how long the funeral will last. Knowing this can help you mentally and, in some cases, physically prepare for the occasion.

A traditional funeral in the UK lasts between 30 minutes and an hour. However, this is just a ballpark figure. The length of the funeral depends on a whole host of factors – from religious customs to family wishes to the order of service.

Some funerals also include a procession, a burial ceremony or a wake. A wake is a social gathering after a funeral. It can last for several hours.

How long is a typical funeral service?

One factor affecting the length of a funeral is whether the funeral is religious or not. That's because some religions include readings and rituals in their services, which make them last longer.

Another is how many personal tributes there will be. Sometimes, only one person will speak about the person who has died. But, depending on the wishes of the family and the person who died, there could be slideshows, readings or even live music.

The length of a funeral can also change depending on whether there's a procession or wake.

Finally, the venue's availability may affect how long the service lasts. It may be that the venue needs the service to be over by a particular time. If it's a cremation service, the crematorium will likely offer slots of a particular length.

How long is a Humanist funeral service?

A Humanist funeral service may last anywhere between 20 minutes and an hour. The length will depend on how many tributes, readings and songs the family decides to include.

If it's a humanist cremation, the crematorium may offer a slot of a particular length. You may be able to book a double slot if you want to arrange a longer service.

How long is a religious funeral service?

We don't have space to cover all the different types of religious funeral services. Here, however, are the typical funeral lengths for some of the major religions in the UK.

How long is a Catholic funeral?

A Catholic funeral Mass usually lasts between 45 minutes and an hour. It can, however, go on as long as 90 minutes.

The exact length will depend on:

The number of readings
The number of hymns
The length of the homily (a type of short sermon)

A Catholic funeral without Mass at a funeral home or gravesite will be shorter than one in church. These usually last between 30 and 40 minutes.

How long is a Baptist funeral service?

A Baptist funeral service will typically last 45 to 60 minutes. It will include hymns, scripture readings and eulogies.

H4: How long does a Muslim funeral last?

Muslim funerals (Janazah) tend to be shorter than traditional UK funerals. Most last between half an hour and an hour. The funeral usually takes place within 24 hours of the person's death.

How long does a Jewish funeral service last?

In Judaism, different branches have different kinds of funerals. Orthodox Jewish funerals tend to be short – around 15 to 20 minutes. Reform and Conservative services often include more readings, so they will last longer.

The biggest factor in the length of a Jewish funeral is how many hespedim (eulogies) there are. It will also depend on whether the funeral takes place solely by the graveside or begins at the shul.

How long does a Hindu funeral service last?

Hindu funeral ceremonies typically last around half an hour. The exact length will depend on specific customs and the family's wishes.

It's worth noting, however, that the funeral service is only one part of a longer mourning period. This mourning period includes other ceremonies and lasts for 10 to 13 days after the funeral.

How long does a Buddhist funeral service last?

Buddhist funerals usually last between 45 and 90 minutes. Again, this will depend on local specific customs and the family's preferences.

How long does a Sikh funeral service last?

A typical Sikh funeral service lasts between half an hour and an hour. The precise length will depend on the number of hymns and prayers included in the service.

How long is a celebration of life?

A celebration of life is an alternative type of funeral that centres on positive memories and has a more joyful tone.

Celebrations of life are a relatively recent invention. They don't have fixed structures like many types of traditional funerals. This means a celebration of life can last any length of time.

That said, they're often longer than a traditional service. A celebration of life could include tributes, activities, food and music.

How long does a direct cremation last?

A direct cremation is a simple cremation with a service . That means there's no ceremony to attend. However, some funeral homes allow you to spend some time with the person who has died before the cremation. This is usually provided as an optional extra.

Can I leave a funeral early?

In some situations, you may need to leave a funeral early. That could be because of an emergency or feeling emotionally overwhelmed.

If this happens to you, it's best to leave in a way that doesn't attract attention or disrupt the service. If possible, you could tell the family before leaving.

However you do it, the main thing is to show respect to the person who died and their family and to leave as discreetly as possible.

AFD is an independent funeral director in London. We're here to give you gentle guidance so you can arrange the funeral you want. Our lines are open 24/7 – please call whenever you're ready on 020 8355 7876.

Funeral poems for Nanna: 8 readings in memory of Grandma

Mon, 06 Oct 2025 06:51:44 GMT

Do you need help choosing a poem for Grandma's funeral? Here are 8 poems that might fit the bill.

When someone dies, there are lots of emotions to process. At the same time, there are many practical tasks to complete, too.

Arranging a funeral is the main one. As well as selecting the venue, you need to choose readings and tributes for the funeral service.

A good funeral director will help you with the order of service. But you may want to make the choice yourself and end up feeling overwhelmed with possibilities.

The truth is that there are no right or wrong readings for a funeral. What's important is that they feel right for you and the person who has died.

Nevertheless, some people want guidance at this difficult time. For that reason, we've put together this list of eight beautiful poems that might suit Grandma's funeral. We hope it helps you give her the send-off she deserves.

Poems for Grandma's funeral

1. "Helga" by Carl Sandburg

Every grandma was a girl once. It's a simple thought that can bring up a lot of complicated feelings after someone dies.

This short poem by the American poet Carl Sandburg is filled with natural imagery and a sense of time passing.

The north has loved her; she will be
A grandmother feeding geese on frosty
Mornings; she will understand
Early snow on the cranberries
Better and better then.

Read "Helga" in full here .

2. "A Portable Paradise" by Roger Robinson

When a person dies, many emotions surface. One of these might be gratitude for the gifts they gave us.

It's a sentiment beautifully expressed by the British poet Roger Robinson in his poem "A Portable Paradise".

And if I speak of Paradise,
then I'm speaking of my grandmother
who told me to carry it always
on my person, concealed, so
no one else would know but me.

Read "A Portable Paradise" in full here .

H3. "Warning" by Jenny Joseph

Was your grandmother larger than life? Would she hate to think of her friends and family crying at her funeral? Then "Warning" by Jenny Joseph – once voted Britain's favourite poem – could be the perfect choice.

It's a funny and moving poem about refusing to grow old gracefully.

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me…
I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit.

Read "Warning" in full here .

4. "Love (III)" by George Herbert

If your grandmother was religious, you may want a poem that reflects her beliefs. This classic poem by the 17th-century poet George Herbert shows a person slowly accepting God's love. It's presented as a dialogue between Man and Love:

Love bade me welcome. Yet my soul drew back
Guilty of dust and sin.

The speaker resists Love before submitting in the poem's final lines:

You must sit down, says Love, and taste my meat:
So I did sit and eat.

Read "Love (III)" in full here .

5. "Girl and Grandmother at the National Gallery" by Meg Bateman

Meg Bateman has written poems in both Gaelic and English. Her poem "Girl and Grandmother at the National Gallery" beautifully captures the differences between the generations:

to you she seems as old as the hills,
you little imagine your own hand wrinkled
or your back bent…

But it also captures what the girl and her grandmother have in common:

but you are contemporaries -
you walk this earth together.

Read "Girl and Grandmother at the National Gallery" in full here .

6. "The Death Bed" by Thomas Hood

In this poem, English poet Thomas Hood describes a girl or woman on her deathbed. It perfectly captures the uncertainty of the moment:

We thought her dying when she slept,
And sleeping when she died.

Hood ends the poem with an image of the afterlife:

Her quiet eyelids closed – she had
Another morn than ours.

Read "The Death Bed" in full here .

7. "Sestina" by Elizabeth Bishop

A sestina is a complicated poetic form. The word at the end of each line of the first verse is repeated throughout the poem in a particular pattern.

The words American poet Elizabeth Bishop chose for her sestina tell a story in themselves: house, grandmother, child, stove, almanac, tears.

It's a long poem, but one that conjures up a domestic scene with a girl and her grandma:

Time to plant tears, says the almanac.

The grandmother sings to the marvelous stove
and the child draws another inscrutable house.

Read "Sestina" in full here .

8. "My Grandmother's Opal" by Grevel Lindop

For many people, early memories of grandparents often include their possessions. Objects like furniture, clothes and jewellery can make the past come flooding back.

This is the subject of Grevel Lindop's "My Grandmother's Opal" – how "her favourite stone" now seems "distant and enigmatic, bright and small / as now my memories of her".

some stories
and nonsense-rhymes she riddled me out of her childhood,
odd scents she used, her sharp, affectionate gaze

Read "My Grandmother's Opal" in full here .

How to choose a funeral poem for Nanna

When choosing a poem for Grandma's funeral, the most important thing is to think about her.

If she had a favourite poem or poet, the choice might be easy. If not, you may find it useful to think about the kind of person she was, the people in her life and the interests she had.

You may also find it useful to approach the task in a gentle, daydreaming way. Flick through anthologies and scroll through poems online until one speaks to you.

Perhaps the main thing to remember is that the poem is about Grandma. If she would like the sentiment in the poem, you've made the right choice.

AFD is an independent London funeral director . Are you looking for poems, readings or songs for a funeral? You'll find more inspiration on our blog .

Why do people wear black at funerals?

Fri, 03 Oct 2025 06:25:46 GMT

Traditionally, mourners wear black to funerals in the UK. But in recent years, this has started to change. Find out why.

For a long time in most Western cultures, black was the default colour worn to funerals. Today, many funeral attendees still choose to wear black.

With the rise of alternative funerals and multiculturalism, however, black is no longer the default. Many people from Asian cultures wear white. And people from all backgrounds may choose to have a colourful celebration of life rather than a formal funeral.

When deciding what to wear to a funeral, your best bet is to choose black or dark colours unless someone tells you to wear something else. That way, you avoid the risk of feeling embarrassed for standing out at a sombre occasion.

But why do people wear black in the first place? To answer that, we need to go back to the days of ancient Rome.

When did people start wearing black to funerals?

In ancient Rome, men who were high up in the social ranks would wear a special dark toga to funerals.

The toga was special because dark dyes were expensive. This was the case even in medieval Europe. Dark mourning clothes were a sign of high social status.

The practice of wearing black to a funeral only became widely adopted in the second half of the 19th century. This was because many people chose to follow the example of Queen Victoria.

When her husband Albert died, Victoria chose to wear black for the remainder of her life. That helped make black the go-to colour for funerals in England and beyond.

Is it OK to not wear black at a funeral?

Different cultures have always had different funeral customs. But in the UK, wearing non-black clothes to funerals started in the second half of the 20th century and has been growing ever since.

Some families encourage people to wear bright colours or simply to wear the clothes they feel most comfortable in.

Others organise celebration of life funerals . These are an alternative type of funeral that emphasises a party-like atmosphere over a sombre sending-off.

Then there are themed funerals . These could reflect the interests or personality of the person who died. The organisers of a themed funeral might encourage you to wear the clothes you feel comfortable in or a dress code that reflects the theme.

Despite these changes, black is still the go-to colour for many funerals. For this reason, it's worth checking the invitation to make sure you're wearing the right thing.

Why is black worn at funerals today?

In Western societies, black is a traditional colour for expressing grief and sadness – and traditionally, these are the emotions people want to emphasise at funerals. In some Asian cultures and societies, white is the preferred colour.

But there's another reason why black is chosen – and, perhaps surprisingly, it's the same reason why white is chosen in other cultures.

This is that a common colour can help keep the focus on the person who died. This can create a sense of community and common purpose.

Finally, black is still considered by many to be a safe choice. For most people, the priority is to avoid drawing attention away from the person who died. That's why most people wear black unless they're asked not to.

Not all cultures wear black

Black is the default colour for funerals in Western societies. But in some Asian cultures, white is the colour of choice.

Hindus usually wear white – some more strictly than others. That's because the colour represents purity and enlightenment in their religion.

At Hindu funerals, men often wear a white shirt and trousers or a white kurta (a collarless shirt). Women wear a plain white dress, skirt or salwar kameez (trousers and tunic).

Generally speaking, Muslims tend not to wear black to funerals, opting instead for white or muted colours. However, black funeral attire is quite common at Muslim funerals in the UK.

And in Hong Kong, both white and black are OK. The big no-no is red. As the blogger La Carmina explains , that's because red is "a festive colour associated with happiness".

Despite these cultural differences, one thing seems to unite us all. It's unusual for people to dress in a flashy or attention-grabbing way to funerals – unless this is specifically asked for by the funeral organiser.

What should I wear to a formal funeral?

At formal funerals in the UK, men typically wear a dark suit. Women wear a dark dress, skirt or trousers paired with a blouse or top.

The emphasis is on wearing clothes that are smart and sombre. For this reason, people tend to avoid bright colours, flashy jewellery and other accessories.

When attending a formal funeral, a good question to ask yourself is whether your outfit will attract attention. If it does, you may want to reconsider what you wear.

It's a topic we've covered in our funeral clothing guides:

Frequently asked questions

At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we provide gentle, compassionate guidance to help you plan the funeral you want. To learn more, take a look at our funeral home services or call on 020 8355 7876. Our lines are always open.

When did cremation start in the UK?

Fri, 26 Sep 2025 11:38:26 GMT

In 2025, cremation is the most popular way of putting a body to rest. But it wasn't legal in the UK til 1884. Explore the history of cremation with us.

Today, the majority of people in the UK have their bodies put to rest by cremation. But this wasn't always the case.

Cremation had been widely practised across the world. In the UK, however, it wasn't socially accepted until the 20th century – and not legal until the end of the 19th century.

It was a taboo in majority-Christian countries because of a belief in the resurrection of the body after death.

So, what changed? Our story begins with Queen Victoria's surgeon and concerns about public health.

Sir Henry Thompson

In Victorian times, the population was expanding rapidly. Cities were getting more and more densely populated as Britain became an industrial power.

This presented many new challenges. One related to public health. With so many people living cheek by jowl, how could the health of the nation be secured?

Sir Henry Thompson, surgeon to Queen Victoria, was deeply concerned with this issue. Inspired by a model cremation he saw in Vienna, Thompson set up the Cremation Society of England in 1874.

Its mission was simple: to legalise cremation in Britain. To this end, they built Britain's first crematorium in 1878 in Woking, Surrey.

Thompson and his society argued passionately that cremation could reduce "the propagation of disease among a population daily growing larger in relation to the area it occupied". But neither the government nor the public at large were convinced straight away.

The first cremation

In 1879, a horse was cremated at the crematorium in Woking. This caused such a scandal among the locals that they asked Sir Richard Cross, then Home Secretary, to intervene. Cross argued that cremation shouldn't be allowed until it was officially recognised by Parliament.

The result was a stalemate – one only broken with the curious case of William Price, an 83-year-old Archdruid.

The case of William Price

William Price didn't see himself as a turning point in the history of cremation in the UK. Nevertheless, his actions were crucial in making it legal and socially accepted.

He was an 83-year-old Welsh Archdruid who disapproved of burial. He became a cause célèbre when he was put on trial for trying to cremate his son.

The ruling was groundbreaking. Judge Mr Justice Stephen argued that while cremation wasn't permitted in law, it also wasn't prohibited.

Price was victorious – and on March 14th 1884, he cremated his son, accompanied by druidic prayers.

The effect on British society was almost immediate, with the first official cremation of a person taking place at Woking Crematorium in March 1885.

The English painter Jeanette Pickersgill was the first person to be cremated.

The growth of crematoriums in the UK

In 1891, Woking Crematorium added a chapel. This was the first time a crematorium became a venue for funeral services as well as cremations. This is something that has carried on to this day – although nowadays, more and more people are opting for unattended direct cremations .

Crematoriums were built across the UK. By 1896, crematoriums were operating in Manchester, Glasgow and Liverpool.

The UK wasn't alone in adopting cremation among Christian-majority countries. In 1878, a crematorium opened in Gotha, Germany, two years after the first crematorium in the USA.

The argument for crematoriums was simple: they protected public health. But in the early years of cremation, the practice came under attack from religious individuals and bodies.

Cremation Act 1902

In 1902, the Cremation Act gave the Home Secretary powers to regulate cremations.

At the time, it was still a niche concern. In 1902, less than 0.1% of all people who died were put to rest with cremation ( UK Parliament ). By 2010, this had rocketed to 73%.

In 1930, an amendment to the Cremation Act outlawed open-air pyres. This was a controversial move as it affected the small but growing number of Sikh and Hindu immigrants living in the UK.

Open-air pyres had never happened in great numbers. But they had been carried out by Hindu and Sikh soldiers who had fought and died for Britain in the First World War.

The UK's last open-air cremation is thought to have taken place in 1934, when the Nepali ambassador received special permission to cremate his wife outdoors.

The question of open-air pyres continues to this day. In February 2010, the Court of Appeal said open-air pyres were legal so long as they were carried out within a structure.

Advances in cremation

In many respects, cremation is the same today as it was in the late 19th century. The main difference is the equipment used.

Increasingly, people have expressed concern about the environmental impact of cremation and its use of fossil fuels.

Because of this, some have proposed alternative forms of cremation. One of these, aquamation , cremates a person's body in water. It's currently not legal in the UK.

The other main change in cremation in the UK is the prevalence of direct cremations . These are unattended funerals without a ceremony.

Frequently asked questions

Akshardham Funeral Directors is an independent funeral home based in London. For more advice and support, read our funeral planning guides or follow our blog .

8 celebration of life cake ideas from talented online chefs

Mon, 22 Sep 2025 06:42:14 GMT

Are you planning a celebration of life? Join us as we run through 8 fantastic cakes we found online.

In recent years, celebration of life funerals have seen a huge upswing in popularity.

For those who don't know, a celebration of life is an alternative to a traditional funeral service. Where funerals are usually sombre and formal affairs, celebrations of life are more celebratory.

They focus on positive memories and reflections on how the person who died influenced the people they left behind. Often, they resemble a party more than a funeral.

Many celebrations of life feature food and drink. So, if you're planning one yourself, you might be looking for cake ideas.

We scoured the internet for some of the best celebration of life cake ideas from talented online chefs. Here are eight of the best. We hope they give you the inspiration you need.

1. Blue guitar with flowers

This talented chef from Carson City, Nevada, created a cake shaped like a blue guitar with country music-style flowers. The body of the guitar bears the message "You will always be our shining star".

What we love most about this cake is the attention to detail – from the pattern around the sound hole to the capo on the third fret. It even stands upright on its own guitar stand.

2. Celebration of life cake from Cakes We Are

This celebration of life cake appears on the YouTube channel Cakes We Are. In the words of the presenter, "This cake was made with so much love for our Dad & Grandpa who has gone to rest with the Lord."

It shows a lifelike picture of a military man with his name at the bottom and the word "Grandpa". At the top are gold balloons and a circle that says "Celebration of life".

Beneath the decorations is a multi-layered sponge cake. It looks delicious and, as the chefs say, made with love.

You can watch the whole process of creation in Cakes We Are's video.

3. Double-barrel cake from Sweet Bar, Philadelphia

This celebration of life cake bursts with life and colour. The cake is a vision in pink, decked out with flowers in matching colours and family pictures in gold frames.

Taking pride of place at the top is a marker with the name and birth and death dates of the person who died. It also features the touching inscription "Mom ❤️ LaLa".

4. Velvet cake with flowers

Made by Instagram creator For Cup's Cake Kitchen, this is, in the chef's own words, "a four-layer red velvet cake filled with cream cheese buttercream and decorated with cala lilies".

It bears the simple message "Beloved Sareeta" to remember the person who died. It's an elegant creation that's clearly been made with care.

5. Football-themed cake

Often, celebrations of life focus on the interests and passions of the person who died. In the case of sports fans, this can sometimes be reflected in everything from the dress code to the choice of venue. In this case, it also inspired the celebration of life cake.

It's an elaborate creation for a Crystal Palace fan. It features everything from a football to the Selhurst Park street sign, from a football shirt to the club's eagle. Taking pride of place on the body of the cake is the word "Dad".

6. White feather cake with candles

This tasteful cake is rendered in pure white icing and layered with feathers. These, the chef explained, are "gum paste rolled thin and sliced up on edges with a groove indented down the middle of each one".

The effort required to achieve this effect shows thoughtfulness and care for the person who died.

7. Four-layer carrot cake

This beautiful cake was made to celebrate the life of "a sweet man who was loved immensely by his family and friends".

The combination of the semi-naked cake and the fresh roses suggests life and renewal rather than death and sorrow. On top of the cake is a simple gold cross.

8. Celebration of life cake for a special lady

Our final choice is a tiered cake with light blue and white icing, clouds, gold drip edges, gold leaf and feathers. It's all topped off with real flowers and a picture of the person who died.

It's a cake that suggests something about the person being remembered and definitely says "celebration" rather than "funeral".

What can you include in a celebration of life cake?

Remember: the occasion is all about celebrating the life of the person who died. So, the cake could reflect any aspect of their personality, passions, interests or achievements.

It could include a photo, a themed shape or a symbol meaningful to you or the person who died. The main thing is to make the guests think fondly of the person who died. Many would say this is more important than drawing attention to the chef's skills.

It could feature the person's favourite colour or include a reference to their hobby. It could also be as simple as the favourite cake of the person who died.

What is a celebration of life?

A celebration of life is an alternative to a traditional funeral service. It focuses on honouring a person's memory and the positive impact they had.

It's typically more informal than a funeral and focuses on shared memories and the personality of the person who died.

Akshardham Funeral Directors is an independent funeral home based in London. We work with people from all faiths and walks of life. Do you need support to arrange a celebration of life funeral service ? Please call at any time – 020 8355 7876.

How to preplan a funeral

Fri, 19 Sep 2025 06:26:01 GMT

Preplanning a funeral can take some of the stress away from your loved ones when you die. Explore your options in our guide.

When a person dies, the funeral is often arranged by the next of kin or loved ones. But it's also possible to preplan your own funeral. This can mean your family won't have to worry so much about money or making arrangements when you die.

Many choose to do this through a funeral plan. This is where you pre-arrange and pre-pay some or all of your funeral costs at today's prices. The plan provider or funeral director will arrange the service along with a coffin, hearse and other key components.

It's a popular choice for a reason. In this blog post, however, we focus on how to preplan a funeral directly through a funeral director.

As with all aspects of grief and mourning, there's no right or wrong way to preplan a funeral. Our aim is simply to let you know how to proceed if you want to work with an independent funeral director like us.

That brings us to the first step in preplanning a funeral: choosing the right funeral director.

Choose a funeral director

Choosing the right funeral director is a crucial stage of the process. At a difficult time, you want to feel that your funeral director has your back – and a listening ear to lend. They'll be able to help you through the process with minimal stress.

You can search for funeral directors online. You can ask friends and family for personal recommendations. You can also consult an online database such as Funeral Guide or Funeral Directory .

Once you've found your funeral director, you should book a meeting to discuss your wishes and preferences.

Discuss your wishes with the funeral director

Once you've chosen your funeral director, you need to discuss your wishes with them. This process will be led by the funeral director and will cover important issues like the coffin, transport, venue, celebrant and service.

You will also need to decide whether you want mouners to view your body before the funeral. This will come at an extra cost.

Your funeral director will help you personalise your funeral. This could include readings, floral arrangements, catering or music choices. First, however, you need to decide how your body will be put to rest.

Decide how your body will be put to rest

There are different ways a body can be put to rest at a funeral. Most of the time, the choice is between a cremation and a traditional burial.

These days, however, there are more options available. You can arrange a green burial, for instance. The cremation or burial can also take place in a variety of venues.

You can also choose a direct cremation . This is a no-frills option where the body is cremated without a funeral service. It's sometimes followed by a separate memorial service.

A good funeral director will talk you through your options without judgment and without putting pressure on you to choose a particular type of service. It's up to you and any loved ones you choose to involve in the decision-making process.

Plan the service

Your next step is to plan the service. Whatever type of service you choose, this is likely to include music and readings.

There are, however, many kinds of services to choose from. There are religious and non-religious funeral services . There are services that focus on celebrating the life of the person who died . There are even themed funerals that reflect the personality or interests of the person who died.

Sort out payment and paperwork

You now need to discuss payment options with your funeral director. Typically, you pay a deposit. The remaining bill is paid out of your estate when you die. You may also have the option of paying in instalments.

Once arrangements have been made, you'll be given paperwork. This should be stored in a safe and accessible place. Many people choose to store it alongside their will and other legal documents.

Let your loved ones know

Once the funeral has been arranged, you should let your family know. If you don't, there may be uncertainty or even conflict about your funeral arrangements.

You should also designate a main contact person for the funeral director. This person will be responsible for working with the funeral director when you die.

Why choose a funeral director?

At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we believe there are no right and wrong ways to grieve – and no right or wrong ways to organise a funeral.

That said, we believe there are some advantages to working with a funeral director with us rather than taking out a funeral plan.

The key advantage is that you get to work closely with a funeral director. That means you can arrange the funeral you want in more detail. It also means you plan the funeral with the company that will handle the funeral on the day.

Above all, a funeral director can offer a sympathetic ear, ensuring your needs are met and that your loved ones have less to deal with after your death.

Frequently asked questions

Akshardham Funeral Directors is an independent funeral home based in North London. For more funeral planning advice, read our full guide on how to arrange a funeral .

What is a funeral celebrant?

Mon, 15 Sep 2025 00:53:55 GMT

When you come to arrange a funeral, you may want to hire a celebrant. Find out what this means and what a celebrant does.

When a person dies, their family usually arranges a funeral – and someone needs to lead the ceremony. Many people choose to hire a funeral celebrant, also known as a "funeral officiant".

There's no legal obligation to do so. A funeral can be led by the family or a religious leader. You can also arrange a direct cremation or burial with no service at all.

A funeral celebrant is a person who doesn't belong to the clergy. They're qualified to lead funeral services. They support the family from the planning stage through to the day of the funeral itself.

When arranging a funeral, you can contact a celebrant directly. Many people, however, prefer to go through their funeral director.

In this article, we explore the role of celebrants in funerals. We hope it helps you arrange the funeral you want for the person who died.

What do funeral celebrants do?

A funeral celebrant's main jobs are to plan and lead a funeral. In the process, they make sure the family's wishes are honoured and support them through the process.

When organising the funeral, they're likely to ask you questions about the life, values, interests and personality of the person who died. They'll probably invite you to share stories and memories. That's so they can personalise the funeral.

If you're struggling to pick music, readings, poems, prayers or hymns, a celebrant can help you decide.

Once you've shared your wishes with the celebrant, they'll go away and draw up an order of service. You can then make amendments and request changes to ensure you arrange the funeral you want.

They will then liaise with the funeral director and crematorium or burial ground to figure out the logistics of the day.

Your celebrant will then meet you at the venue on the day of the funeral. There, they'll lead the funeral and offer you emotional support.

A good funeral celebrant will be sensitive and responsive to your needs both at the planning stage and on the day of the funeral. If you trust your funeral director, you might want to ask them to find you a celebrant.

What are the two types of funeral celebrants?

There are two types of funeral celebrants: civil celebrants and Humanist celebrants.

Civil celebrants

A civil celebrant doesn't belong to the clergy but can carry out both religious and non-religious ceremonies.

This is ideal for people who either want a non-religious ceremony or who want religious elements to be incorporated in the ceremony. They may want, for instance, to have prayers, hymns and readings from scripture but not a full religious ceremony.

Civil celebrants are flexible. They can plan and deliver a funeral service that focuses on mourning, on a celebration of life , or a bit of both.

Humanist celebrants

A Humanist celebrant is different from a civil celebrant because they won't deliver religious ceremonies.

Humanism is a school of thought that doesn't believe in God or the afterlife. A funeral service officiated by a Humanist celebrant will be non-religious and non-spiritual. That means no prayers, no hymns and no readings from scripture.

Most Humanist services include a tribute section. This will focus on the positives of the person's life and emphasise celebration rather than mourning. The tone, however, can be as sombre as you want.

Although Humanism is a belief system, you don't have to be a Humanist yourself to have a funeral service led by a Humanist celebrant.

Which type of celebrant should I choose?

Whether you choose a civil celebrant or a Humanist celebrant largely depends on the wishes of the person who died. It could also depend on the wishes of the family.

If, for instance, the person who died wasn't religious but came from a religious family, a civil celebrant could provide a non-denominational service that incorporates religious elements.

What does a celebrant do at the funeral?

On the day of the funeral, the celebrant will meet you at the venue and lead the order of service. This includes everything from welcoming guests to the final farewell.

Their job is to make sure the funeral goes smoothly. They manage the timing of the service and the transitions from one section to another.

Along the way, the funeral celebrant offers support and guidance to both loved ones and attendees. This helps keep the funeral calm, respectful and organised.

How to find a funeral celebrant

For many people, the easiest way to find a funeral celebrant is to ask their funeral director. They can put you in touch with a celebrant who has the skills and experience to arrange the funeral you want, whether religious, non-religious or multi-faith.

However, you may prefer to look online. There, you can consult online directories of humanist and civil celebrants. Check their experience and qualifications, along with testimonials from past clients, before making a decision.

Frequently asked questions

Are you looking for funeral advice ? At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we support families throughout Greater London to help them plan the funeral they want. We can help you with all aspects of funeral planning, including arranging a celebrant. Please call at any time – 020 8355 7876.

Probate and inheritance: what an executor cannot do

Fri, 12 Sep 2025 07:17:09 GMT

When a person dies, the executor of their estate has lots of responsibilities. But what can they NOT do? Find out in our easy-to-follow guide.

When a person dies and leaves a will, they name an executor. This is the person who's legally responsible for carrying out the instructions in the will. The executor can be a friend, family member, accountant or solicitor.

The executor will share the money, property and possessions of the person who died with the people named in the will (the beneficiaries). They'll pay debts and handle financial affairs. Sometimes, they'll have extra duties to carry out.

It's a role that comes with lots of responsibilities. But there are limits on what an executor can do. If an executor goes beyond their duties, they can be removed as an executor.

In this guide, we explore what an executor can and cannot do.

What an executor cannot do

Change the will

Executors can't change the terms of the will after the person has died, even if they believe it should be changed because it's unfair. That's because a will is a legally binding document, not a series of recommendations.

If the executor believes a will should be changed, they can apply for a Deed of Variation. This is a document that lets the executor change the will.

The process isn't always easy. All beneficiaries must agree to the terms of the Deed of Variation before it's issued.

If the executor is a beneficiary, they can agree to changes via a Deed of Variation. They can also implement these changes and ask a court for a legal interpretation of the will. Otherwise, their role is simply to carry out the instructions in the will as written.

Act in self-interest

The executor can't act in their own interests. In other words, they can't do anything that means they would benefit personally from their position as the executor. All they can do is carry out the wishes laid out in the will.

That means an executor cannot buy property from the state they're administering. If they do, the other beneficiaries can mount a legal challenge, and the executor can either step down or be forcibly removed.

Make decisions that aren't in the will

The executor can only execute the decisions laid out in the will. They can't make decisions that go against the wishes of the person who died or against the best interests of the estate and its beneficiaries.

But what if the will is unclear or the estate can't cover debts and legacies? In cases like these, the executor can seek court approval to make a decision that isn't in the will.

Ignore court orders

If the court makes an order relating to the estate of the person who died, the executor is legally obliged to comply.

Examples of court orders relating to a will include:

Orders of probate
Orders relating to inheritance disputes
Orders for the removal of an executor

Ignoring a court order is known as "contempt of court". This can lead to a fine, removal from the role of executor or even imprisonment.

If you believe the executor of a will is ignoring court orders, you may want to seek legal advice from a qualified probate lawyer.

Access funds without probate

Managing the assets of the person who died is a key responsibility of the executor. This involves distributing money, property and possessions among the beneficiaries and paying off debts.

Most of the time, an executor needs a Grant of Probate to access and manage the funds of the person who died. This is a legal document that gives them the authority to handle the person's funds.

There are a few exceptions. The first is when a joint bank account or other asset is shared with a surviving spouse or civil partner. In this case, the funds automatically go to them.

If the estate is small, the bank may release the funds without a Grant of Probate. This will depend on the bank's policy.

Finally, funds can sometimes be released without probate for urgent costs. These could include funeral costs or inheritance tax.

What are an executor's responsibilities?

An executor's main responsibility is to carry out the wishes laid out in a person's will. Other responsibilities might include:

Registering the death
Arranging probate
Arranging the funeral
Contacting the beneficiaries
Paying off any outstanding debts
Paying any Inheritance Tax that's due

Not every executor has to carry out all of these responsibilities. For this reason, they should be clear about their responsibilities before they begin.

What if a will is unclear?

Sometimes, a will contains unclear instructions. In this case, the executor must not make decisions on their own. Instead, they should get legal advice from a probate lawyer. They may have to ask the court to interpret the will.

What's most important is that the executor has to get clarification from a third party. It's not their job to make their own decision or to make a moral judgment about the wishes laid out in the will.

Frequently asked questions

AFD is an independent London funeral director . We work with people of all faiths to arrange personalised funerals that feel right for them. Do you need help because a person has died? Get step-by-step advice on what to do upon death – or browse our blog for more advice on funerals and probate.

Songs for Father's funeral: goodbye music for a beloved dad

Mon, 08 Sep 2025 07:13:41 GMT

Choosing music for a funeral service can be tricky. Hear 8 hand-picked options for the funeral of a father.

Funerals of all kinds often feature music. If you're tasked with choosing the music for the funeral of your father, you might find it difficult to make a decision.

Often, people find it difficult because they worry they'll make the wrong decision. Perhaps the tone will be off or there'll be someone at the funeral who disapproves.

Here at Akshardham Funeral Directors, we believe there's no right or wrong way to arrange a funeral. What matters is honouring the life of the person who died in whatever way feels right.

The same goes for music. As long as the lyric is appropriate to the person who died, you should be on safe ground.

Even so, planning for a funeral is a difficult time, and you may be looking for guidance. For this reason, we've put together this list of eight songs that can help you say goodbye to Dad.

1. "My Old Man" by Ian Dury and the Blockheads

English singer-songwriter Ian Dury is known for his wit. In this song, he combines that famous wit with a touching tribute to his father.

It describes his father's jobs and his personality: "My old man was fairly handsome, he smoked too many cigs / Lived in one room in Victoria, he was tidy in his digs."It ends with a bittersweet verse about his father dying "before we'd done much talking":

All the while we thought about each other
All the best, mate, from your son

2. "Live Forever" by Oasis

This stirring anthem by Oasis describes a bond between two people that could well be the bond between a father and his child:

I think you're the same as me
We see things they'll never see
You and I are gonna live forever

At once melancholy and anthemic, this is a song that could be a moving tribute to a father at his funeral.

3. "Wake Me Up When September Ends" by Green Day

This rock ballad by American band Green Day was inspired by the death of the singer's father. It begins with a gentle acoustic guitar and builds to a rock anthem with the chorus:

Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends

4. "Bridge Over Troubled Water" by Roberta Flack

"Bridge Over Troubled Water" was originally recorded by folk duo Simon & Garfunkel. This moving performance by Roberta Flack is highly suitable for the funeral of a father.

It could be the voice of the father consoling the child: "I'm on your side when times get rough". Or it could be the voice of the children remembering the love they bore the father:

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Flack's version is reflective, gentle and beautiful – all qualities you could be looking for in a song for your father's funeral.

5. "Father and Son" by Cat Stevens

This classic song by the folk singer-songwriter Cat Stevens (now Yusuf Islam) is a poignant dialogue between a father and son.

When singing as the father, Stevens adopts a deep voice and encourages the son to take his time and "think of everything you've got". As the son, he sings in a higher register about having to go away and find his own path in life.

The song expresses a relatable dynamic between a father and son that many find moving. Its lilting acoustic arrangement can help create a wistful, tender mood.

6. "Hero" by Mariah Carey

This inspirational power ballad by American singer Mariah Carey is about finding strength at a difficult time. Although on the surface it's about the hero you are, it could also be about the hero your father was:

So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And you'll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

Its passionate vocal, simple lyric and stirring chorus all make this an ideal choice for a funeral.

7. "Aria" from J.S. Bach's Goldberg Variations

Bach's music is often described as "sublime", and a piece like the "Aria" from his Goldberg Variations makes it clear why.

It's a sweet, gentle and flowing piece for solo piano that's neither happy nor sad. This could be a suitable choice for a funeral if you want to create a mood of reflection rather than sorrow.

There are many, many versions to choose from. We've gone for this performance by Igor Levit.

8. "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd

This classic track by the rock band Pink Floyd is a song about love and loss:

How I wish, how I wish you were here
We're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl
Year after year…

The song begins with one guitar, another joins in, then the singer sings a verse. Only then does the full band kick in. In other words, the song takes its time – a quality that could be just right for a funeral.

AFD is a team of independent funeral directors based in London. We provide a compassionate, listening ear to our clients at all stages of the funeral planning process. Do you need our help because a person has died? Please call whenever you're ready on 020 8355 7876 – our lines are open 24/7.

Poems for Father's funeral: death and sympathy poetry for dads

Fri, 05 Sep 2025 06:42:31 GMT

Many funerals feature poetry readings. Here are 6 powerful suggestions for the funeral of a father.

When a person dies, many things need to be done. Near the top of the list is organising a funeral service. That often involves choosing music to play and poetry to read.

Sometimes, it's easy to choose a poem. This is especially true if the person who died had a favourite poet or poem.

At other times, however, it can be a difficult decision. You may worry about getting the tone wrong or choosing something that doesn't reflect the values or personality of the person who died.

One of the advantages of working with a funeral director or funeral celebrant is that they'll often provide you with examples of poetry for the funeral.

At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we believe there are no right or wrong choices when it comes to funerals. If you think a poem is right (and it won't offend the people at the funeral), then it's probably the right choice.

Despite this, lots of people look for guidance at this difficult time. To help you, here are six powerful poems you could read at the funeral of a father.

Six funeral poems for Dad

"Crossing the Bar" by Alfred, Lord Tennyson

In this poem, the Victorian poet Alfred, Lord Tennyson compares death to crossing a sandbar (a ridge of sand in the sea). In this case, the sandbar stands between the river of life and the sea of death or immortality.

The poet asks for a peaceful journey into the unknown:

And may there be no moaning of the bar,
When I put out to sea…

He ends by asking his loved ones for "no sadness of farewell". Yes, he is going far away, but he hopes he will meet God on the other side:

I hope to see my Pilot face to face
When I have crossed the bar.

Read the full poem.

2. "Memory of my Father" by Patrick Kavanagh

In "Memory of my Father", the Irish poet Patrick Kavanagh talks about the many men who remind him of his late father:

Every old man I see
In October-coloured weather
Seems to say to me:
"I was once your father."

It's a poem that reflects how memories of loved ones linger after they die. It also describes some of the hardships people faced during the poet's lifetime.

Read the full poem.

3. "Album" by R. S. Thomas

In this bittersweet poem, Welsh poet R.S. Thomas describes looking through a family photo album. It begins without fanfare: "My father is dead."

In spite of the pain of life and death, the smiles of the people in the photograph tell Thomas that time will heal his grief:

…there is no wound
time gives that is not bandaged
by time.

We're left with the image of the family smiling at R.S. Thomas, now a man, looking at them through tears.

It's a powerful poem that asks the simple question: "What does it mean?"

Read the full poem.

4. "Immortality" by Clare Harner

First published in 1934, this poem is often known by its opening lines: "Do not stand by my grave and weep."

It's a reassuring poem: a voice from beyond telling the living not to grieve. The person is no longer in the grave. They're now "the thousand winds that blow" and "the sunlight on ripened grain".

With its simple language and natural imagery, this could be a good choice of poem for a father who was optimistic, gentle and a lover of nature.

Read the full poem.

5. "Epitaph on my Own Friend" by Robert Burns

Robert Burns, the national poet of Scotland, wrote "Epitaph on my Own Friend" for William Muir, a friend of Burns and his father.

It's a short, sweet poem that grieves "an honest man" who made the best of his life. It ends poignantly:

If there's another world, he lives in bliss;
If there is none, he made the best of this.

With its simple language and sentiment, this could be a moving poem to read at a funeral service for Dad.

Read the full poem.

6. "My Heart Leaps Up" by William Wordsworth

When a person dies, people often think about how that person influenced the new generation.

This is something the Romantic poet William Wordsworth touches on in his short poem "My Heart Leaps Up". This poem is the source of the famous line "The Child is father of the Man".

The poem is about the way childhood joys can continue into manhood – in Wordsworth's case, the simple sight of a rainbow:

My heart leaps up when I behold
A rainbow in the sky:
So was it when my life began;
So is it now I am a man;
So be it when I shall grow old,
Or let me die!

This concise and beautiful poem could be a fitting tribute to a dad who loved nature and who passed that love on to his children.

Read the full poem.

How to choose a funeral poem for Dad

Choosing a funeral poem for a father isn't always easy. It's important to remember, however, that most people won't judge you for your choice. As long as the poem is respectful, it's likely to go down well.

Because of this, it can be best to rely on your instinct when choosing your poem. Ask yourself: which poem speaks to you? Which one reminds you of your father? Which one can you imagine will make people at the funeral think about him fondly?

Writing your own poem

You can always write your own poem for the funeral of a loved one. We wrote about this in our guide on how to write a poem for a funeral . As we said there, "The simple act of writing a poem for a funeral shows love, care and compassion."

We hope you found a poem that feels right for the funeral you're planning. Here at Akshardham Funeral Directors, we share lots of advice and inspiration to help you arrange the funeral you want. Why not take a look at some more funeral ideas ?

What to wear at a funeral (guide for men)

Mon, 01 Sep 2025 07:28:35 GMT

Choosing what to wear to a funeral is an important decision. This guide for men should help you choose the best outfit for the occasion.

When a person dies, there are lots of things to think about. If you're a close relative, you'll need to arrange a funeral and deal with the estate. All this needs to be done at a time when emotions can run high.

For many people, this can make it hard to make decisions. Even basic questions can become difficult to answer. A prime example is the question of what to wear to a funeral.

In the UK, traditional funeral dress is formal and dark-coloured. Men wear dark suits to show respect for the person who died and their loved ones.

In recent decades, however, things have become more complicated. That's partly because the UK has become a far more multicultural society. Different religions and cultures have different traditions for funeral dress.

It's also because of a rise in non-traditional funeral services. Celebrations of life , for instance, focus on celebration rather than mourning. Themed funerals invite people to dress in a way that reflects the personality or interests of the person who died.

All this can make the question of what to wear complicated. Whatever the situation, however, there are a couple of guidelines to follow.

The first is that it's almost always best to err on the side of caution. If you don't know exactly what's expected, it's better to be safe than sorry.

The second is to check the funeral invitation for guidance. If it's unclear, get in touch with the organiser. It's better to do this before the funeral than to feel embarrassed or out of place on the day.

What to wear to a non-religious funeral

Unless otherwise specified, your best bet is to wear formal clothes in dark or muted colours. Traditionally, this would be a black or dark suit, a plain white or dark shirt, a dark tie and smart shoes.

Today, some men wear dark trousers or smart jeans with a long-sleeved shirt and a blazer or jacket. The main thing is to keep your outfit smart and muted.

What to wear to a Catholic funeral

At most Catholic funerals, men are expected to wear dark, formal clothes. This will often be a black or dark-coloured suit with a white or dark plain shirt and a dark tie.

If you decide not to wear a suit, you should still wear something smart and dark. A dark sports jacket, shirt, tie and pair of trousers should fit the bill.

Whatever your exact outfit, the key consideration is to dress modestly and respectfully. Unless otherwise specified, bright colours and patterns are inappropriate. The same goes for casual wear.

What to wear to a Muslim funeral

At Muslim funerals in the UK, men usually wear a plain, long-sleeved, button-down shirt. This is typically paired with dress trousers and smart shoes.

Flamboyant colours are a no-no unless the family or funeral director suggests otherwise.

Before entering the prayer hall, both men and women remove their shoes. For this reason, you should make sure you're wearing clean, presentable socks.

What to wear to a Jewish funeral

Men at Jewish funerals usually wear dark, formal clothing. Traditionally, this will be a suit, tie and shoes in muted colours (black, navy and dark grey are common).

Male Jewish attendees will wear a yarmulke or skullcap. This is a small piece of cloth worn on the head. The synagogue will usually provide a basket of yarmulkes. Non-Jewish men aren't obliged to wear a yarmulke but may consider doing so as a sign of respect.

What to wear to a Hindu funeral

In Hinduism, white is the colour of mourning. Both Hindus and non-Hindus should wear white or light colours to a Hindu funeral in the UK.

Men often wear a white shirt and trousers or a white kurta (a loose, collarless tunic) and pyjama bottoms. Both men and women should avoid black and flashy colours or patterns.

It's customary for attendees to remove their shoes before entering the funeral venue. For this reason, you may want to make sure you're wearing clean and presentable socks.

What to wear to a Buddhist funeral

At Buddhist funerals, men usually wear simple, dark-coloured and modest attire. This will often be a dark suit, but can also be dark trousers, dark dress shoes and a plain shirt.

You should avoid flashy or bright colours – especially red, which symbolises joy, happiness and celebration.

As with all funerals, your main consideration is to dress modestly and show respect to the person who has died and their loved ones.

What to wear to a celebration of life

In recent years, celebrations of life have become increasingly popular. This is an alternative type of funeral service that celebrates the achievements and personality of the person who died.

Because of their relative newness, there's no strict dress code for celebrations of life. Your best bet is to check the invitation for guidance.

You may be asked to wear vibrant colours, or you may be asked to wear whatever makes you comfortable. There may also be a themed dress code. When in doubt, double-check.

Frequently asked questions

Akshardham Funeral Directors provides tailored, affordable funeral services in London . For more funeral advice and ideas, follow our blog .

The UK rules on intestacy explained (with flowchart)

Fri, 29 Aug 2025 07:56:08 GMT

The rules of intestacy can get quite complicated. Understand them at a glance with our simple flowchart and guide.

When a person dies, they leave behind an estate. This is the total value of the person's money, property and possessions.

This estate must be shared among beneficiaries (people who are allowed to inherit). However, the question of who gets what can be complicated.

It's simplest if the person who died left a will. Their will should list beneficiaries and explain what each is entitled to. It should also name an executor – the person responsible for dealing with the estate.

However, if there was no will, then the rules on intestacy apply. These are a series of checks to determine who should inherit the estate and how much they should get.

What are the rules on intestacy (laws of intestacy)?

With a will, a person controls what happens to their money, property and possessions when they die. They can decide to give half to their spouse and half to their children, for example. Or they can give their entire estate to a third party or a charity.

If they don't leave a will, however, they can't decide who gets what. Instead, there's a set of rules that decide who the beneficiaries are. These are called the 'rules of intestacy' (or 'laws of intestacy').

The rules can get quite complicated. However, the basics of intestacy can be broken down as a series of 'yes' and 'no' questions. When you look at the rules like this, they might start making a little more sense.

That's why we've created a simple rules of intestacy chart. If you're going through an inheritance process and there's no will, this should help you figure out who the beneficiaries should be. We also explain the rules in a little more detail below.

Please note that this guide applies to intestacy rules in England and Wales. The rules of intestacy in Scotland and Northern Ireland are a little different. You can learn more at gov.scot (Scotland) or nidirect (Northern Ireland).

Rules on intestacy flowchart

The rules of intestacy chart explained

Who inherits if the person was married or in a civil partnership?

That depends on two things:

Whether the person who died had surviving children
The value of the person's estate

If the person had no surviving children, their spouse or civil partner inherits all of the estate.

If the person had children and those children are still alive, they may be entitled to some of the estate. It depends on how much the estate was worth. This is calculated by adding up the value of all the person's money, property and possessions, then subtracting any debts the person owed.

The spouse or civil partner still inherits everything if the estate's total value is less than £322,000 .

However, if the estate is worth more than £322,000 , then the estate is shared between the spouse/civil partner and the person's children.

In this case, the spouse or civil partner inherits:

All the person's possessions
The first £322,000 of the estate
Half of the remaining value of the estate

The children inherit whatever's left over, sharing their portion of the estate among themselves.

An example

Harry passes away, leaving an estate worth £500,000. He doesn't leave a will.

Harry has three children from a previous marriage. When he died, he was married to his second wife Tatiana.

Under the rules of intestacy, Tatiana is entitled to all of Harry's possessions, the first £322,000 of his estate and half of what's left. This adds up to £411,000.

That leaves £89,000 for Harry's children. Since he has three children, they each inherit a third of this remaining estate. That's about £29,600 per child.

What happens if the person's spouse or civil partner is no longer alive?

If the person who died outlived their spouse or civil partner, then the inheritance passes to the next beneficiary under the laws of intestacy.

That's often the person's children. If there are no children, it could be the person's parents, siblings or another, more distant relative. We cover these rules in more detail below.

Can a partner inherit if they were not married to the person who died?

No. If the person was not married or in a civil partnership with their partner, then the partner won't inherit any of the estate. This is true even for long-term and cohabiting partners.

Who inherits if the person was NOT married or in a civil partnership?

If the person was not married or in a civil partnership, the estate passes to another living relative. The laws of intestacy decide who is entitled to inherit first.

It all depends on what relatives the person had and whether those relatives are still alive. First, the estate goes to the person's children. If they had no surviving children, it passes to their parents, then their siblings, and so on.

Here's how the checks work:

If the person who died had surviving children, those children share all of the person's estate.
If there are no surviving children, the estate passes to the person's parents.
If the person's parents have died, the estate is shared among the person's brothers and sisters.
If the person had no surviving siblings, the estate is shared among half-brothers and half-sisters.
If there are no surviving half-siblings, the estate passes to the person's grandparents.
If the person's grandparents have died, the estate passes to any surviving aunts and uncles.
If there are no aunts or uncles, the checks stop. The estate is considered ownerless and passes to the Crown (the British state).

Can stepchildren inherit the person's estate?

No. Under the UK rules on intestacy, stepchildren generally can't inherit.

The same goes for step-siblings. Half-siblings can inherit if there's no surviving spouse, children, parents or full siblings. However, step-siblings can't.

Can adopted children inherit?

Yes. If a person is legally adopted, they have the same right to inherit as if they were born into their adoptive family. However, the adopted person has no right to inherit anything from their birth family's estates.

Who inherits if there are no surviving relatives?

The rules of intestacy go as far as the person's aunts and uncles. The checks don't consider any relatives more distant than this.

If there's no surviving spouse, children, parents, grandparents or aunts and uncles, the estate is considered bona vacantia . This is Latin for 'ownerless property'.

If this happens, the estate passes to the British state (the Crown). The Crown will hang onto ownerless estates for 30 years. After 30 years, the Crown legally owns the estate.

If you believe you're entitled to a share of a bona vacantia estate, you can make a claim on the GOV.UK website .

Akshardham Funeral Directors is an independent funeral home in Edgware, North London. For more advice, follow our blog or read our funeral planning guides .

Readings and poems for Mum's funeral

Mon, 25 Aug 2025 07:52:03 GMT

Choosing a reading or poem for Mum's funeral isn't always easy. Explore some beautiful possibilities from famous poets through the ages.

Readings and poems are common at many funerals, whether religious or non-religious. They can provide people with a space to reflect on their grief and love for the person who died.

Sometimes, it's easy to choose a poem or reading – if, for instance, the person who died had a favourite poem, novel or other text.

But if it's left entirely up to you, you may find it a difficult choice to make. There are so many texts to choose from – and there's always the fear that you'll make the wrong choice.

In our opinion, there are no right or wrong ways to grieve. There are only different people with different relationships to the person who died. The same goes for arranging funerals and choosing what to read at them. As long as you put thought into the choice and think about the person who has died, you're unlikely to go wrong.

However, we understand that you may still want some guidance at a difficult time. Here, then, are some possible readings and poems for Mum's funeral.

How to choose

When choosing a reading or poem, you could first think about your mother's interests. Did she have any favourite poems, novels or other books? If so, you could flick through and see if a passage grabs your attention.

If not, you want to find something that feels right. How would she feel about this poem? In many ways, this is more important than how you would feel reading it out or how you imagine the other mourners will feel.

If you're still finding it hard to choose, open it up to friends, relatives and other people who knew your mum. They may be able to suggest a suitable reading.

Poems for a mother's funeral

Percy Bysshe Shelley: "Music, when soft voices die"

When a loved one dies, their presence lingers on. In this classic short poem, the Romantic poet Shelley compares this to music vibrating in the memory and the smell of flowers staying in our minds:

Music, when soft voices die,

Vibrates in the memory—

Odours, when sweet violets sicken,

Live within the sense they quicken.

Rose leaves, when the rose is dead,

Are heaped for the belovèd's bed;

And so thy thoughts, when thou art gone,

Love itself shall slumber on.

Rudyard Kipling: "Mother o' Mine"

Rudyard Kipling is perhaps most famous for his Just So Stories or his poem "If". This short poem could be a suitable choice for the funeral of a mother.

It describes how a mother's love can save you even in the most serious situations:

If I were damned of body and soul,

I know whose prayers would make me mind,

Mother o' mine, O mother o' mine!

Read the full poem here .

Walt Whitman: "A Clear Midnight"

Many poems about death contain natural imagery. It seems that death will always make us think about the passing of the seasons, the natural world and the cosmos.

This is apparent in Walt Whitman's short poem "A Clear Midnight". In it, he describes the soul leaving the world and "fully forth emerging" into the universe.

Read the full poem here .

John Masefield: "CLM"

This long poem by the English poet John Masefield covers many topics, but focuses on a son's love for his mother. The opening verse could be a suitable tribute for a son to read:

In the dark womb where I began

My mother's life made me a man.

Through all the months of human birth

Her beauty fed my common earth.

I cannot see, nor breathe, nor stir,

But through the death of some of her.

Read the full poem here .

Readings for Mum's funeral

A George Eliot quote from Middlemarch

Was your mother someone who tried to do good? Then this famous quote from George Eliot's classic novel Middlemarch could resonate with you and the other people at the funeral:

"For the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs."

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

This passage from the New Testament is often read at funerals. Sometimes, the word "charity" is translated as "love":

Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;

Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;

Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Michel de Montaigne on death and gardening

The French philosopher Michel de Montaigne was a lover of the natural world in general and gardens in particular. In one of his essays, he describes how he would like to die:

"I agree that we should work and prolong the functions of life as far as we can, and hope that Death may find me planting my cabbages, but indifferent to him and still more to the unfinished state of my garden."

With its gentle humour, courage and resignation, this could be a fitting quote for the funeral of a mother who loved to garden.

Quotes for Mum's funeral

Along with readings and poems, you can also include quotations about grief in your tribute or eulogy. You can also include quotes in a sympathy card or with funeral flowers.

There are many lists of quotes online. One of the best ways to find a suitable quotation is to search by topic on Goodreads . Here are a couple of our favourites:

"The song is ended but the melody lingers on" – Irving Berlin

"Only time and tears take away grief; that is what they are for" – Terry Pratchett

AFD is an independent funeral director based in London. We work with people from all faiths and backgrounds, lending a listening ear and sensitive advice at all stages of the process. If you need our support to arrange a funeral, please call 020 8355 7876. Our lines are always open.

Songs for Mum's funeral: memorial music for a beloved mother

Fri, 22 Aug 2025 06:13:22 GMT

It's not always easy choosing songs for Mum's funeral. In this guide, we share 7 songs and hymns that might strike the right mood.

Choosing songs for Mum's funeral isn't easy. Whatever relationship you had with your mother, it can be tricky to choose appropriate music for a woman you've likely known all your life. How can you distil decades of emotions into three, four or five minutes of music?

Should you choose songs that you knew your mother loved? Should you play it safe and stick to tried and tested funeral songs? Or should you go with your gut and opt for music that strikes an emotional chord with you ?

The short answer is that it's your decision. But we know that doesn't make the decision any easier.

We hope this guide helps. We've picked out a few popular songs for a funeral for Mum, plus a selection of Christian hymns. All are beautiful and affecting in different ways. Why not listen to a few and see if any feel right for the funeral you're planning?

Songs for a mother's funeral

Kate Bush – This Woman's Work

Kate Bush is most famous in the UK for her 1978 number one single "Wuthering Heights". But while that song sounds big and dramatic, "This Woman's Work" is a gentle ballad about childbirth, struggle and the strength of a mother's love.

The song is tinged with sadness yet bristling with hope. "Give me these moments back", sings Bush over sparse piano chords, "Give them back to me / Give me that little kiss / Give me your hand".

It's a beautiful piece of music that would make the ideal funeral song for a mother from her daughter or son. It would especially suit the committal – the part of the funeral that represents the last goodbye.

Taylor Swift – The Best Day

Are you looking for modern songs for Mom's funeral? This upbeat folk-pop tune, originally from Taylor Swift's 2008 album Fearless , might be a good fit.

"The Best Day" is all about childhood memories of a loving, caring mum. Swift remembers her mother cuddling up to her on car journeys, consoling her after arguments with pals and taking her on shopping trips. And through it all, no matter what they did, they always had "the best day".

It's a heartfelt song with a bittersweet feel. It reminds us that while Mum is gone, those happy, nostalgic memories will always live on.

Adele – Sweetest Devotion

Here's another catchy modern tune about motherhood. While the lyrics don't mention death or grief, it could still work as a song for Mum's funeral if you want to strike an upbeat mood.

Adele wrote "Sweetest Devotion" as a tribute to her son, and the song is full of references to maternal love. "I've been looking for you, baby / In every face that I've ever known", she sings. "And there is something 'bout the way you love me / That finally feels like home."

This song might be best as funeral exit music – the music that plays when people leave the funeral venue. After the sadness of the service, its big, joyful sound will remind everyone that life goes on and we all have lots of love left to give.

ABBA – Slipping Through My Fingers

This 1981 ballad tells a bittersweet tale about growing up and growing apart. It was inspired by Linda Ulvaeus, the daughter of band members Björn Ulvaeus and Agnetha Fältskog.

The song is sung from a mother's perspective. She watches as her daughter grows into a young woman, and she yearns for more time with the "funny little girl" she once knew.

Slipping through my fingers all the time
I try to capture every minute
The feeling in it

The effect is both sentimental and regretful. It might make a good Mom's funeral song if you want to strike a mournful, nostalgic mood.

Funeral hymns for Mum

Are you planning a Christian funeral and want to include some religious music? Here are some beautiful funeral hymns for Mum. Each seems to capture something about the eternal bond between a mother and her children.

Hymn of Promise

This modern funeral hymn was written in 1985 by the American composer Natalie Sleeth. It's also known under the title "In the Bulb There is a Flower".

The hymn uses nature as a symbol for the mysteries of life and death. Just as a bulb will become a flower, it says, and a cocoon will turn into a butterfly, troubled times and dark days will pass. Even death will blossom into new life – but we can't know exactly what that new life will look like. Instead of second-guessing, we must put our faith in God to guide us through life and the afterlife.

Faith of Our Mothers

"Faith of Our Mothers" is a popular Mother's Day hymn that might also suit a funeral service. It's all about how our mothers guide us through life and through faith, and how we'll carry those lessons until our dying days.

Faith of our mothers, living still
In cradle song and bedtime prayer;
In nursery lore and fireside love,
Your presence still pervades the air.

Faith of our mothers, living faith,
We will be true to you till death.

Mother Dear, O Pray for Me

Popular in the Catholic Church, this beautiful hymn asks for help navigating the struggles and temptations of life. "Mother dear, O pray for me!", the narrator exclaims. "Whilst far from heav'n and thee / I wander in a fragile bark / o'er life's tempestuous sea."

The "Mother" in the lyric is Mary, the mother of Jesus. However, if you're grieving your Mum, it might also speak to the valuable advice and unconditional love that only a mother can give.

We hope this guide helped you choose suitable funeral songs for Mum. Are you in London and need funeral advice or planning support? At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we work with people of all faiths and cultures to help them arrange the funeral they want. We're ready to support you, too. Just call 020 8355 7876 at any time, any day of the year.

What is a memorial service?

Mon, 18 Aug 2025 06:39:01 GMT

What is a memorial service and how is it different to a funeral? Find out what happens at a memorial service and how to plan one.

A memorial service can be a touching way to mark a person's death and honour the life they led.

But what is a memorial service, exactly? And what's the difference between a memorial service and a funeral ceremony?

In this guide, we explain what a memorial service is and answer some of the most common questions about memorial services.

What is the meaning of 'memorial service'?

A memorial service is a ceremony where people come together to remember a person who has died.

The main difference between a memorial service and a funeral is when they take place. A funeral service happens shortly after a person dies and is meant as a last goodbye. A memorial service can happen any time after the funeral and is more about honouring the person's life and remembering special times together.

This also means the person's body isn't present at a memorial service. The body is usually there at the funeral.

When can a memorial service be held?

There are no rules on when you can hold a memorial service. It could be weeks, months or years after the person has died.

One reason you might want to hold a memorial service quite quickly is if the person had a direct cremation . That's because direct cremation doesn't include a formal funeral ceremony. Instead, the person is cremated at a date chosen by the crematorium, and no friends or family are allowed to go. Holding a memorial service a few days or weeks later gives these loved ones a chance to say goodbye.

Some people, however, wait until a significant anniversary (10 years, for instance) before holding a memorial service. Others hold a memorial service on the date of the person's death every year.

What happens at a memorial service?

Unlike some kinds of funerals, there's no fixed structure or strict rules for a memorial service. The service can have any feel and any structure you want.

Some feel more like gatherings or wakes – a chance for people to get together, share food and reminisce about the person who died. Others may include speeches from loved ones. That could be as part of a formal timetable, or people could be allowed to speak whenever they feel the time is right. There might be music, poetry, photo slideshows and even activities or games.

As a rule, memorial services tend to be more informal than funerals. However, they don't have to be. You can make it as formal and structured as a traditional funeral service if that's what feels right for you.

How much does a memorial service cost?

Holding a memorial service can cost you nothing or can cost thousands of pounds. It all depends on what you want for the service.

You might want to hire a venue, for instance. That can cost anything from £100 to £1,000 or more. If you want catering, that might cost £5 to £50 per guest, depending on the type of meal. And flowers or decorations can range from around £25 to several hundred pounds.

Alternatively, you can hold the memorial at home and pay nothing at all – except, perhaps, the cost of a few snacks and refreshments.

Another option is an online memorial service on a videoconferencing platform like Zoom. Again, this option may well cost you nothing.

How to organise a memorial service

Just as there are no strict rules for what happens at a memorial service, there are no fixed guidelines for organising one. Again, it depends on the kind of service you have in mind.

That said, a few basic considerations will always crop up. These include:

The location: think about where the memorial service might take place. Will you hire a venue or hold the memorial at home? Should you choose a venue that meant something to the person who died? Will it be an online memorial service?
The guest list: who will come to the memorial service? Will it be an intimate occasion for close family members or a big celebration of life?
The date and time: once you know the venue and guest list, choose a date and time that would work for as many people as possible. If you're hiring a venue, make sure to check availability first.
Invitations: it's time to invite people to the memorial service. You could send each guest a formal invitation, a quick email or even a text message.
Catering and decorations: if you want food, flowers or decorations at the memorial service, it's best to arrange them as soon as possible. This helps avoid problems later on.
The timetable: you might want a fixed structure for the memorial service. If so, find out who wants to speak and plan timings to make sure everyone gets their chance. You may want to print this timetable as a formal order of service.
Any special extras: finally, it's time to plan for the little extras that make the service feel extra special. For instance, you could include music, videos or a memory table with objects and photographs that remind people of the person who died.

More FAQs about memorial services

Are you in London and need help from a funeral director who puts your needs first? Akshardham Funeral Directors is a Middlesex funeral home that provides compassionate, step-by-step support to families throughout Greater London. Call us at any time on 020 8355 7876 – we are always ready to help.

5 tasteful and beautiful gravestone inscription ideas

Fri, 15 Aug 2025 08:30:10 GMT

Choosing an inscription for a headstone is a serious decision. In this article, we share some inspiring quotes and phrases.

When a person is buried in a cemetery, they can have a gravestone (sometimes called a "headstone" or "tombstone"). This stone tells visitors who lies in this plot of land.

All gravestones have the name and date of death of the person who died. But they can also include descriptions of the person, quotes and other phrases.

Choosing an inscription for a gravestone is a big decision. After all, you want it to be seen by generations to come. But unless the person who died made a request in their will, it's not always obvious what you should choose.

Here, then, are some general tips about choosing an inscription, followed by some ideas. We hope it helps you create a tasteful, beautiful gravestone that will last for generations.

General tips

There are a few things to keep in mind when planning the inscription for a gravestone. They come down to two key considerations: how it will sound and how it will look.

You want the inscription to reflect the personality of the person who died and the feelings of the people they've left behind. Most of the time, this will lead you to choose a timeless quote – one that would make sense to previous generations as well as generations to come.

The question of how it will look is slightly trickier. A gravestone, after all, is a physical object – it's not an audio recording. You need to choose words that look impactful and uncluttered on the stone.

There are a few ways to figure this out. First, you can involve friends and family in the decision-making process. They will be able to tell you how things look, sound and feel.

Secondly, you could visit the cemetery and take a look at other inscriptions. There, you can imagine how the gravestone will look. Finally, you can ask your funeral director or stonemason for suggestions.

Gravestone inscription ideas

1. Traditional phrases

Many gravestones include traditional phrases – the kind that have been used for generations. These tend to be simple and formal. They include:

"Forever in our hearts"
"Gone but not forgotten"
"In loving memory"
"Rest in peace"
"Until we meet again"

There are plenty more phrases like this. Any would be suitable. They express love in a straightforward and traditional way.

2. Personalised phrases

Aside from the person's name, date of death and a traditional phrase, many gravestone inscriptions include a descriptive phrase. These phrases are there to personalise the memorial.

A phrase like this could refer to a person's family relationships: "beloved aunt", for instance, or "dearly missed husband". It could refer to their interests: gardening, say, or football. It could also say something about their values – if, for instance, they did a lot for charity.

A personalised phrase can say a lot in a few words. If you need more inspiration, you could take a look at the memorials in your local cemetery.

3. Quotations

Many gravestones feature a short quotation. This could be from poetry, scripture or another text. It could even be a quotation from the person who died.

Here is a selection of possible quotes:

"Whither thou goest, I will go" – The Book of Ruth, 1:16
"If winter comes, can spring be far behind?" – Percy Bysshe Shelley
"Whoever brought me here will have to take me home" – Rumi
"So long as men can breathe, or eyes can see / So long lives this, and this gives life to thee" – William Shakespeare

4. Humour

Sometimes, humour can be appropriate. It all hinges on whether you think the person who died would have appreciated it.

Here are some famously humorous gravestone inscriptions:

"I'll never get out of this world alive" – Hank Williams (country singer)
"I will not be right back after this message" – Merv Griffin (TV host)
"I told you I was sick" – Spike Milligan (comedian)

A humorous gravestone inscription takes thought. Done right, it can be a fitting tribute to someone who loved to laugh.

Keep in mind, though, that many burial grounds have rules about what you can include on a memorial and may not allow humour. If in doubt, ask first.

5. Fonts

A gravestone inscription isn't just about the words you choose. It's also about the font.

The font you choose can change the way an inscription comes across. There are four main families of fonts: serif, sans serif, Gothic and script.

Serif fonts have small, decorative strokes. Times New Roman is a classic example. Sans serif letters, however, are made up of plain unadorned lines and dots.

Gothic fonts are the kind you might see on an old manuscript. Finally, script fonts are meant to resemble old-fashioned handwriting.

A funeral director or stonemason will be able to talk you through your options and help you choose the right font for your gravestone inscription.

Frequently asked questions

AFD is a team of funeral directors based in North London. We provide a compassionate, flexible service to people from all faiths and backgrounds. Are you planning a burial funeral ? Let us guide you, step by step – from planning the ceremony to choosing a headstone. You can call us at any time on 020 8355 7876.

What to wear at a funeral (guide for women)

Mon, 11 Aug 2025 05:51:41 GMT

Knowing what to wear to a funeral isn't always obvious. In this guide, we look at what women can wear to different kinds of funerals.

When someone dies, there's usually a lot to think about. This can make it difficult to make decisions. One such decision is what to wear to a funeral.

As a general rule, funeral dress for women in the UK (as for men) is smart, conservative and dark-coloured. This is a way of reflecting the seriousness of the occasion and showing respect for the person who died.

There are exceptions. Hindus, for instance, wear white to funerals, as do the family at Buddhist funerals.

In Western cultures, there's been a move towards themed funerals and celebrations of life . In these cases, the organisers might encourage you to dress more casually. They could even choose a dress code that reflects the interests and personality of the person who died.

Often, the dress code will be specified in the invitation. If it isn't, it's best to err on the side of caution and dress in dark, formal clothes.

What to wear to a non-religious funeral

Assuming there's no alternative dress code, you should wear dark formal clothes. Black is traditional, but grey and burgundy are usually considered appropriate, too.

Women at non-religious funerals will often choose between a dress, skirt, trousers, jacket and top. It's unusual to see women wearing low-cut tops, flashy jewellery or short skirts at a funeral. These choices may offend other mourners.

It's important to be comfortable as well as smart. In summer, this could involve wearing breathable materials like cotton and linen as well as sunglasses if there's an outdoor section of the funeral.

In winter, you might want to wear a jumper under a suit jacket or a T-shirt under your shirt or blouse. You could wear a dark, smart coat, a hat, a scarf and gloves. You could also take an umbrella.

What to wear at a Catholic funeral

As with many Christian funerals, Catholics tend to dress conservatively. For women, this usually means smart, black dresses, skirts and trouser suits. Women should avoid short skirts and low-cut tops as this may offend other mourners.

What to wear at a Muslim funeral

At most Muslim funerals, women should dress conservatively and wear a headscarf. A typical outfit might be a long skirt and a long-sleeved, high-necked shirt. Women should avoid short skirts, low-cut tops and very high heels.

If you've not been to a Muslim funeral before, be aware that you normally have to remove your shoes before the ceremony.

What to wear at a Jewish funeral

At traditional Jewish funerals, women mostly wear modest and dark-coloured clothes. Black is traditional, but other dark colours are appropriate.

A typical outfit might be a suit, a long dress or a long skirt and top. Women are sometimes required to wear a head covering.

Increasingly, Jewish funerals allow for more choice. It's still advisable to stay on the conservative code so as not to offend other mourners. Check with family members or the funeral director if in doubt.

What to wear at a Hindu funeral

At Hindu funerals, women wear light-coloured clothing. This could be a simple white dress, a shalwar kameez (long shirt and trousers) or a sari.

Women should cover their arms and knees and avoid bright colours and flashy jewellery. It's customary to remove your shoes before you enter the funeral venue.

H3: What to wear at a Buddhist funeral

At traditional Buddhist funerals, the family members wear white or cover themselves with a white cloth. Mourners wear simple black or dark-coloured clothing. All mourners avoid wearing red.

If you've not been to a Buddhist funeral before, it's worth knowing that expensive and flashy clothing and jewellery are often seen as an inappropriate display of wealth.

What to wear at a celebration of life

Increasingly, people are choosing to hold celebrations of life. These are more informal, celebratory occasions than traditional funeral services.

Because celebrations of life are a relatively recent development, there's not yet an agreed-upon dress code. Guidance may be included in the invitation. If in doubt, contact the organisers.

Frequently asked questions

Akshardham Funeral Directors is an independent funeral director based in London. We lend a listening ear at all stages of the funeral process. Let us help you organise the funeral you want – call anytime on 020 8355 7876.

How much is it to cremate somebody?

Fri, 08 Aug 2025 06:33:56 GMT

How much does it cost to have a cremation funeral? Learn the average cost of a cremation in the UK, plus prices for extras like cremation plots.

There's a lot to think about when organising a cremation funeral. You need to consider the venue, the order of service, the date and time and a whole host of other things.

But one of the most important considerations is also one of the most difficult to plan for. How much, exactly, does it cost to arrange a cremation?

The simple answer is this: on average, a simple funeral with a burial or cremation costs £4,285 in the UK ( SunLife ). However, what you pay depends on where you live – and costs can change dramatically depending on the choices you make for the funeral.

In this guide, we break it all down for you. We show you what cremation costs in different parts of the country and how these costs might change based on the type of funeral you choose.

Please note that all costs are correct as of July 2025.

How much is it to cremate somebody?

How much are cremation services?

When we talk about a cremation service, we mean the funeral ceremony that happens before a cremation.

In the UK, the average cost of a simple cremation or burial with a service is £4,285 (SunLife). That cost includes:

Funeral director fees
Doctor fees
Celebrant fees
A mid-priced coffin
Transport for a few close friends or relatives
The price of the cremation itself

However, it doesn't include the cost of what SunLife calls "optional extras" . These are the things that can personalise a funeral and make it feel more special.

You may or may not consider these things optional, depending on your culture and personal preferences. They include things like:

Flowers for the service
Printing for the order of service
Venue hire for the wake
Catering for the wake
Extra limousines or cars for the family
A memorial (such as a headstone)

On average, these extras add £2,861 to the cost of the cremation (SunLife). That brings the total average cost to £7,146 .

How much for a basic cremation?

"Basic cremation" is another name for direct cremation . This is a type of cremation without a funeral service.

If you choose direct cremation, the person who has died will be cremated at a time and date of the crematorium's choosing. Nobody is allowed to go to the crematorium, and there's no formal ceremony to say goodbye to the person.

The average cost of a direct cremation in the UK is £1,597 (SunLife). However, that cost doesn't include optional extras. For instance, you might want to pay for a cremation plot so you can bury the ashes, plus a memorial headstone to mark the grave.

Some people might find it odd to have a cremation without a funeral service. However, direct cremation is getting more and more popular. As of 2024, direct cremations accounted for 20% of all funerals in the UK (SunLife).

Many people who choose direct cremation for their loved ones go on to hold informal memorial services at a later date. This means they can say goodbye in their own way and in their own time.

How much is a cremation plot?

A cremation plot is a small grave where you can bury a person's ashes.

The cost of a cremation plot varies widely around the UK. You can expect to pay anything from £400 to £2,000 or more, depending on your location and the type of burial ground (council-owned or private).

When you buy a cremation plot, you're actually leasing the land from the cemetery owner. You're given a legal document called the "Grant of Exclusive Rights of Burial", which gives you rights to the grave for a fixed time. Exclusive Rights of Burial are often more affordable for residents of the area where the grave is located.

You'll also have to pay an interment fee – the cost of actually burying the ashes. This fee can range from around £250 to £650 .

Bear in mind that burying a person's ashes isn't the only option. You can choose to scatter the ashes, for instance, or keep them in an urn at home. Why not look at our ideas for creative things to do with cremated ashes ?

How much does a cremation cost around the UK?

While £4,285 is the average cost of a cremation funeral in the UK, the actual price you'll pay can change a lot from location to location.

Cremations in Northern Ireland tend to be most affordable. The cost of a cremation with a service at Antrim and Newtownabbey Crematorium, for instance, is currently £650 for a resident of the district.

Meanwhile, cremation costs in London and the South East can reach £1,000 or more. As of July 2025, a Sunday morning cremation service at Golders Green Crematorium in North London costs £ 1,760 .

As with the cost of a cremation plot, the cost of cremation can vary depending on whether the person who died lived in the area. Fees for non-residents are often higher.

Please note that the fees above only cover the cremation and service. They don't include professional fees (for funeral directors, doctors and celebrants) or the price of transport or a coffin.

Cremation costs vs burial costs

Cremation is usually more affordable than burial. According to Funeral Guide , the average cost of a cremation service in the UK is £934 , compared to £1,698 for a burial.

These costs are only for the cremation or burial and the service. They don't include other fees, such as funeral director fees.

It's not a hard and fast rule that cremation is more affordable, though. For instance, direct cremations are more expensive on average than direct burials, coming in at £1,597 versus £1,527 (SunLife).

Of course, these are averages. What you end up paying might be more or less, depending on your location and other factors.

At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we pride ourselves on providing compassionate, step-by-step funeral care while keeping our prices as low as possible. Are you looking for affordable cremation services in London? We are here to help. Please call on 020 8355 7876 – our lines are open 24/7/365.

Celebration of life vs funeral: what's the difference?

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Mon, 04 Aug 2025 07:12:20 GMT

A celebration of life ceremony honours a person who has died. Learn how it differs from a traditional funeral.

When a person dies, there are many different ways to send them off. Throughout the 20th and 21st centuries, alternative kinds of funerals and memorial services have increased in popularity. Many are now offered by local, national and international funeral directors .

Celebrations of life are a great example of this. Like other kinds of funerals and memorial services, they're about remembering a person's life and, in the case of funerals, putting the person's body to rest.

The key difference is that a celebration of life is, as the name suggests, a celebration. While a celebration of life can have much in common with a traditional funeral or memorial service, the tone tends to be more informal and more celebratory.

Moreover, celebrations of life tend to be more personalised than traditional services. This can add to the air of celebration. Some people feel this is a better way to honour the person who has died.

What is a celebration of life for?

Like any funeral or memorial service, a celebration of life is about remembering the person who has died, honouring their life and remembering the impact they had on others.

The main difference is one of tone. Whereas traditional services tend to be sombre affairs, celebrations of life are often more like parties. This is reflected in everything from the order of events to the venue to the dress code.

What does a celebration of life involve?

Celebrations of life are a relatively recent phenomenon, although some say they have their roots in traditional Irish wakes. Because they're a fairly new thing, there's no standard ceremony or ritual. Instead, a celebration of life puts the person's individuality front and centre.

A celebration of life is likely to include the sharing of tributes, memories and stories. The organisers may choose music and poems that reflect the person's life and interests.

Attendees are often encouraged to bring personal items, photos and videos associated with the person who has died. The aim is to paint a full picture of their life, passions, career and relationships.

Sometimes a celebration of life will have an order of speakers who share memories about the person. Others opt for a kind of open-mic setup, with people getting up to say a few informal words.

At other celebrations of life, the organiser may encourage attendees to write down memories in a guest book or memory box.

Celebrations of life can also feature food, drink and live performances of music, as well as activities that were important to the person who died.

It can be as elaborate as a fully themed party or as simple as giving each guest the person's favourite chocolate. Personalisation is key.

Where can a celebration of life be held?

It's not just the order of events that is flexible. The venue for a celebration of life can also be personalised.

It could be held anywhere that had personal significance for the person who has died. For instance:

A club
A restaurant
A music venue
A community room
A pub
A hotel

If they loved nature and the great outdoors, you could hold the party outside. You can also hold a celebration of life at someone's home.

Some religious buildings and crematoriums may be willing to host a celebration of life. However, the more party-like the event is, the less likely this is.

What do you wear to a celebration of life?

A celebration of life will usually have a more relaxed dress code than a traditional service. Sometimes, this is at the request of the person who has died. At other times, it's because the organisers want a more celebratory tone to proceedings.

Attendees are sometimes asked to wear the person's favourite colour or the colours of their sports team. Alternatively, people are encouraged to wear whatever they feel comfortable in.

What's the difference between a celebration of life and a living funeral?

Celebrations of life and living funerals are sometimes confused. A celebration of life is an event held after a person has died.

By contrast, a living funeral is held while the person is still alive. It's usually organised for someone with a serious illness who knows they don't have much time left. Like a celebration of life, it will have a more celebratory tone than a traditional funeral or memorial service.

Do you bring something to a celebration of life?

It depends. Often, there's no expectation to bring a gift. If you are expected to, the organisers will most likely mention it in the invitation.

Celebrations of life often revolve around memories and stories of the person who died. You may be asked to bring something to share. Again, this is likely to be mentioned in the invitation.

Loved ones may welcome a card of condolence or flowers. This isn't true of everyone, however – sometimes on the grounds of waste, sometimes for religious reasons. In this case, the loved ones may encourage you to donate to a charity instead.

Are celebrations of life religious?

Celebrations of life tend to be secular or humanist. However, there's no reason why a celebration of life shouldn't include religious elements or be led by a faith leader.

How long are celebration of life services?

The simple answer is that it depends. The length of a celebration of life can range from a couple of hours to a full day. It all depends on the wishes of the organisers.

Akshardham Funeral Directors is a team of independent London funeral directors . We provide a compassionate, tailored service to people of all faiths and backgrounds. Please call 020 8355 7876 if you need our support – lines are open 24/7.

What happens if you can't afford a funeral in the UK?

Mon, 04 Aug 2025 07:11:48 GMT

Even if nobody can afford to pay, there can still be a funeral. Explore your options and learn how to access financial help.

There's no getting around the fact that funerals can be expensive.

As trusted independent funeral directors, we try to keep our funeral costs as affordable as possible. But funeral director fees are just one part of the picture. You also have to consider the costs of the burial or cremation, as well as doctors' fees and optional extras like flowers or a headstone.

According to SunLife's Cost of Dying 2025 Report , the average cost of a send-off in the UK is now £9,797. That price includes the funeral itself, plus professional fees and optional extras. But even the simplest kind of attended funeral has reached a hefty £4,285.

With costs increasing nearly every year, it's understandable that paying for a funeral might feel like one financial burden too many.

But what happens if your family can't afford the funeral? How do you pay for a funeral with no money?

The most important thing to know is that there will still be a funeral , no matter your financial circumstances. If nobody can afford the funeral, the local council will pay for a simple ceremony on your behalf. This is known as a 'public health funeral'.

However, that's usually a last resort. Before you go down that route, it's a good idea to look at the other options available to you.

Let's take a look at those options now.

Your options for paying for a funeral when there is no money

Check if there's money in the person's estate

A person's estate is the sum of all their assets when they die. It includes cash, as well as property, investments and personal possessions.

If there's enough money in the estate, that money will be used to cover the cost of the funeral. In other words, if the person who died could afford it, they pay for their own funeral.

If the person left a will, that will should have named an executor to deal with the estate. If there's no will, the responsibility falls to a nominated person called an 'administrator'. It's worth speaking to the executor or administrator about finances if you haven't already.

The problem with this option is that estates take time to process. You'll have to wait until this process (known as 'probate') finishes before you can access any funds. This usually takes between nine and 12 months.

What usually happens is that families pay for the funeral out of their own pockets and recover the money from the estate later. Of course, this isn't much help if you can't afford the funeral right now.

Check if the person who died had a funeral plan

A funeral plan is a way to pay for a funeral before you die. The person who opens the plan pays a little each month. This money goes towards the cost of the funeral.

If your loved one had a funeral plan, it means the funeral costs are covered.

And not just the ceremony. Most plans also include support from a funeral director, plus extras like a coffin and hearse (funeral car).

The downside is that you don't get to choose a funeral director. If you use a funeral plan to pay for the funeral, you'll usually have to use a funeral home nominated by the plan provider.

To find out whether the person who died had a funeral plan, you can use NAFPP's Find My Plan service.

Check if the person had life insurance

If a person has a life insurance policy, they can name people who'll receive a cash payout when they die. You don't have to use this money to pay for a funeral, but you can if you want to.

Some life insurance plans even include funeral cover. That means a guaranteed lump sum will be available to pay for the funeral.

Keep in mind, however, that life insurance doesn't necessarily guarantee a payout. It depends on the type of life insurance the person had:

Term life insurance: this type of insurance only covers a certain amount of time. If the policyholder dies during this period, you'll get a payout that you can use to help cover funeral costs. However, if they survive beyond the agreed term, you won't receive any money.
Whole life insurance: whole life policies guarantee a payout, no matter when the policyholder dies. These payouts also tend to be larger than with term life insurance.

If you think your loved one might have had life insurance, it's worth checking through documents to see if you can find evidence of it. You could also try asking their accountant or legal advisor.

Check if you're eligible for financial help

There are several government schemes available to help families pay funeral costs. Depending on your circumstances, you may or may not be eligible.

The Funeral Expenses Payment (England, Wales and Northern Ireland)

The Funeral Expenses Payment is available to people on certain benefits, including Universal Credit and Housing Benefit.

If you're eligible, you'll get a cash payout that can help cover the cost of:

Burial fees
Cremation fees
Travel arrangements
Documents, including the death certificate

You'll also get up to £1,000 to help pay for other expenses like flowers and funeral director fees.

To find out if you're eligible, check the GOV.UK website – or nidirect in Northern Ireland.

The Funeral Support Payment (Scotland)

The Funeral Support Payment is the Scottish version of the Funeral Expenses Payment. It usually covers some, but not all, of the funeral costs.

You can visit mygov.scot to find out if you're eligible.

The Children's Funeral Fund (England)

The Children's Funeral Fund can cover some of the cost of a child's funeral in England. It covers burial or cremation fees, as well as the cost of a coffin.

The fund is not means-tested. That means it's available to anyone who has lost a child in England.

You can still apply for the Funeral Expenses Payment, even if you get financial help through the Children's Funeral Fund.

At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we offer free cremation services for any person who dies under the age of 16.

Who pays for the funeral if there's no money in the estate and no other ways to pay?

If you've tried all these options and still can't afford the funeral, don't worry. The person who died will still get a dignified send-off.

That's because the local council will pay for the funeral on your behalf. This kind of funeral is known as a 'public health funeral'.

Public health funerals are quite rare. Approximately 600,000 people die in the UK each year, yet there were only around 4,400 public health funerals in 2022 and 2023. That shows that most people who struggle to pay for a funeral manage to get the financial help they need.

But there's no shame in having a public health funeral. The council will make sure that the person who died gets a proper ceremony that follows their beliefs. Members of the council might even attend the ceremony to pay their respects.

However, the ceremonies tend to be very simple, and attendance may be limited. In some cases, councils don't allow family members to go to the funeral.

That's why it's worth looking at other options first. A public health funeral is dignified and respectful, but it's usually considered a last resort.

At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we put compassion first. That's why we offer free funerals for people under 16 – and it's why we always aim to keep our rates as affordable as possible. Do you need our support to arrange a funeral in London? Please call 020 8355 7876 – our lines are always open.

Do you have to have a funeral?

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Mon, 28 Jul 2025 10:05:01 GMT

As the cost of dying rises, many people ask whether a funeral is legally necessary. Find out the answer today.

When a person dies, does there have to be a funeral? It's a question that keeps coming up.

Maybe it's because the cost of dying continues to rise, with a simple funeral costing on average around £4,000. Perhaps it's the increasing popularity of alternative services like woodland burials, celebrations of life and living funerals.

It could even be the legacy of David Bowie . When he died in 2016, as famous as ever, he opted for a direct cremation without any family or friends in attendance. His ashes were then scattered on the Indonesian island of Bali.

Whatever the reason, more and more people are investigating alternatives or dispensing with funerals altogether.

The short answer to the question "Do you have to have a funeral?" is no. The only requirements are that you register the person's death and put their body to rest. This could be through burial, cremation or donation to medical science.

A funeral is a ceremony or service held soon after a person dies. It usually includes burial or cremation. But it's perfectly possible to have a simple, no-frills direct cremation – perhaps in conjunction with another kind of ceremony like a memorial service. Alternatives include a natural burial , a living funeral or a celebration of life.

What is a direct cremation?

A direct cremation is a funeral at its simplest. The person's body is transported in a simple coffin in simple transport. There's usually no viewing, visitation or wake. There's not usually anyone in attendance, although some funeral directors will let a few people attend for an additional fee.

After a direct cremation, the ashes are returned to the family or scattered at a crematorium. Despite its simplicity, a direct cremation is a dignified and respectful process.

People choose direct cremations for two main reasons. The first is that it separates the cremation from the ceremony. This frees people up to arrange alternative ceremonies in their own time, be it a personalised memorial service, a living funeral within the person's lifetime or an ashes scattering ceremony.

The second is that direct cremations are much cheaper than traditional funeral services. On average, a direct cremation costs £1,500. A traditional funeral typically costs at least twice as much.

What is a celebration of life?

A celebration of life is a kind of alternative funeral ceremony held after someone dies. Unlike a traditional funeral, it can be held at any point after they die. This can remove some of the administrative stress that follows the death of a loved one.

Celebrations of life are often more celebratory than traditional funerals. They also tend to be more personalised and can be held in a venue that was dear to the person who died.

What is a living funeral?

A living funeral is an event, usually celebratory, for a person who knows they are reaching the end of their life. It allows them to gather together their loved ones and share memories.

People who hold living funerals appreciate that they can be more personalised than traditional funeral services. They can be arranged more flexibly and mean that loved ones don't have to organise a funeral when the person passes away. They can also be more cost-effective than a traditional funeral.

What is a natural burial?

A woodland burial is where a person is put to rest in a designated natural environment. This could be a woodland or other natural area.

Natural burials are simple and sustainable. The body isn't embalmed and only biodegradable materials are used. Even grave markers are kept to a bare minimum – if they're used at all.

A natural burial can be a suitable choice for somebody who loved nature or who was committed to sustainability in their lifetime.

What are the legal requirements when a person dies?

There's no law that says you have to have a funeral. It's entirely up to you whether you have one or not.

However, there are certain laws you must follow after a person's death:

You must register the person's death within five days (eight in Scotland).
You must dispose of the person's body (put them to rest).
You must not show the person's body in a way that would "outrage public decency". This means the body must be covered in a coffin or shroud.

Legal considerations aside, there are other things that need to be done when a person dies.

You need to check the will to see if it contains any specific funeral requests or instructions. Did the person want a particular kind of burial, cremation or funeral service? Did they want to donate body parts or organs?

This stage of the process also involves figuring out the financial side of things. Did the person have life insurance or a funeral plan that can pay for the burial or cremation? This will have an effect on the funeral director you work with.

You also need to tell people that the person has died. This will include friends, relatives, employers, health professionals, financial bodies, government offices and even social media platforms.

Finally, the person's estate (money and belongings) must be dealt with. If there's a will, the person who died will have nominated an executor (the person who handles the estate). If not, the process is a little different. Either way, this is a crucial process after a person dies that comes with its own legal considerations.

Akshardham Funeral Directors is an independent funeral home based in London. We offer compassionate, step-by-step guidance to help you plan the funeral you want. Do you need our support to arrange a send-off that feels right for your loved one? Please call anytime on 020 8355 7876 – or read our guides on what to do when a person dies .

Remembering a nature lover: 5 poems about gardens for funerals

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Fri, 25 Jul 2025 06:40:20 GMT

Reading a poem can add a personal touch to a funeral service. Here are 5 poems for nature lovers.

Many people choose to read a poem or poems at the funeral of a loved one. As part of a tribute, it can reflect the person's interests and personality and encourage the attendees to reflect.

There are many, many poems about gardens and gardening. There's even a wide-ranging anthology, Poems for Gardeners , edited by Germaine Greer.

These poems often talk about the cycles of birth and death, the changing of the seasons and the beauty of the natural world. It's perhaps this combination of topics that makes a poem about gardening so suitable for the funeral of a nature lover.

Here, then, are five poems about gardens and gardening. We hope it helps you get your emotions across at the funeral.

1. Robert Frost: After Apple-Picking

American poet Robert Frost wrote many poems about life and death. His lyric "Nothing Gold Can Stay", for instance, is a short exploration of the passage of time.

On the surface, "After Apple-Picking" is a poem about, well, apple-picking. It's told from the perspective of a person who's spent the day picking apples and is drifting off to sleep:

But I am done with apple-picking now.

Essence of winter sleep is on the night,

The scent of apples: I am drowsing off.

The poem is suitable for the funeral of a nature lover for two reasons. First, it captures the way memories of nature stick around. As the poet drowses off, he can still feel the ladder under his foot: "My instep arch not only keeps the ache, / It keeps the pressure of a ladder-round" (rung).

Secondly, the poem is about wanting to rest. The speaker gets ready for a "long sleep" and mentions Heaven. All in all, it feels like this poem is about much more than just picking apples.

Link: After Apple-Picking

2. Phoebe Hesketh: Death of a Gardener

When someone dies, it can help people to remember that life goes on. But this can also be a source of sadness. This is the theme of Phoebe Hesketh's poem "Death of a Gardener". In it, a garden returns to its natural state after the gardener dies.

The poem begins in winter – a time of rest for the gardener but not for nature. Snow pads the window and thatches the roof while "mice in the shed scuffled like leaves".

Spring comes and the gardener sets to work again, but "slower his lift and thrust". As his hands continue to work, nature goes on as normal. A blackbird sings, a worm coils and seedlings grow.

It's a gentle poem written with a gardener's eye, and its theme of nature continuing after a person dies makes it a suitable choice for the funeral of a nature lover.

Link: Death of a Gardener

3. Philip Larkin: Cut Grass

"All flesh is grass," the Bible says. Could the cut grass in Philip Larkin's short poem be a symbol for death?

Cut grass lies frail:

Brief is the breath

Mown stalks exhale.

The poem is about natural beauty as much as it's about death. The words move like a camera, panning out to reveal a beautiful summer scene. From "chestnut flowers" and "hedges", we move to "lost lanes of Queen Ann's lace". Finally, the camera tilts upward to reveal "that high-builded cloud / Moving at summer's pace."

Like Hesketh in "Death of a Gardener", Larkin seems to be saying that nature goes on after we're gone. This could be a moving choice for the funeral of a nature lover.

Link: Cut Grass

4. Douglas Dunn: Modern Love

The poems so far have been about individuals and landscapes. This poem by Douglas Dunn is about a couple on a peaceful holiday:

It is summer, and we are in a house

That is not ours, sitting at a table

Enjoying minutes of a rented silence.

The garden is sleepy and overgrown. In this moment of peace, Dunn thinks about happiness:

Our lives flap, and we have no hope of better

Happiness than this, not much to show for love

Than how we are, or how this evening is,

Unpeopled, silent, and where we are alive

In a domestic love

Happiness, Dunn seems to be saying, is made up of moments of calm domestic love, with the couple "looking forward to a visit from the cat".

With its focus on simple pleasures, "Modern Love" could be a moving choice of poem for someone mourning the death of their partner.

Link: Modern Love

5. Louis MacNeice: The Sunlight on the Garden

"Poetry, in my opinion, must be honest before anything else." Those are the words of Irish poet Louis MacNeice in the introduction to his long poem Autumn Journal .

His poem "Sunlight on the Garden" is proof that he walked the walk as well as talked the talk. It's a moving, honest poem about the passing of time and the beauty of nature.

The sunlight on the garden

Hardens and grows cold,

We cannot cage the minute

Within its nets of gold…

Death is on its way, with the speaker saying, "Soon, my friend, / We shall have no time for dances."

In this mood of sadness, MacNeice looks for a silver lining. What can keep us going when we know death is coming? The answer comes in the last verse: gratitude for time spent with another person:

And not expecting pardon,

Hardened in heart anew,

But glad to have sat under

Thunder and rain with you,

And grateful too

For sunlight on the garden.

With its themes of natural beauty, the passing of time and thankfulness for precious moments, "Sunlight on the Garden" is the perfect choice for the funeral of a nature lover.

Link: Sunlight on the Garden

Akshardham Funeral Directors is an independent Harrow funeral home . We provide patient, tailored guidance to help people plan the funerals they want. If you need our support, please call 020 8355 7876 – lines are open all day, 365 days a year.

What to write on a headstone

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Fri, 18 Jul 2025 20:07:10 GMT

Choosing the right inscription for a headstone can be difficult. Read our guide to see some meaningful ideas.

Have you been tasked with choosing the inscription for a headstone? While many people see this as an honour, it can also feel quite overwhelming.

As with many aspects of funerals and after-death arrangements, many are worried they'll make the wrong decision or say the wrong thing.

This is partly because headstones are usually there for a long time – and while they can be changed, it's not an easy process.

At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we believe that there's no right or wrong way to grieve – and the same goes for the inscriptions on headstones. Whether a message is from the heart or just descriptive, it's likely to be a suitable tribute to the person who has died.

Nevertheless, many people choosing an inscription look for guidance. Here are some key things to keep in mind.

1. Choose an inscription that will last

Headstones are meant to last for a long time. When choosing an inscription, it's worth imagining how it will look in 10, 20 or 50 years. Will it be the right order of words then as well as now?

2. Take your time

When a person dies, some tasks need to be dealt with urgently. A headstone inscription isn't one of them. Usually, the headstone won't be placed for several months – often up to a year.

This frees you up to think carefully about the inscription. The inscription can come out of reflection and discussion with family and friends. There's rarely any need to rush.

3. Involve other people

Did the person who died have friends and family other than you? It can be a good idea to get them involved in choosing a headstone inscription.

This could be at the brainstorming stage or just before you commit to your choice. Either way, involving others can lead to new ideas – and take away some of the stress.

4. Think about how it will look

A headstone presents information visually. Because of this, you should think about how the inscription will look as well as sound.

Will the inscription take up too much room on the headstone? What font or fonts will you use? Answering these questions can help you pick the right inscription.

5. Check the details

It's hard (though not impossible) to change headstone inscriptions once they're carved. Always make sure there are no spelling or grammar errors and that the dates are accurate before sending your inscription to the engraver.

What to write on a headstone

Most headstones have a top line, a name or names, dates of birth and death and some personal words.

Classic top lines include "In memory of", "Rest in peace" and "Here lies". Other options include "In memoriam", "In remembrance" and "In loving memory of". For couples, many choose "Together again", "Together at last" or "Reunited".

The more personal words can focus on who the person was and the people who loved them. Phrases like "Much loved wife/husband", "Devoted father" and "Beloved son/daughter" are often used.

This section of the headstone can also emphasise the impact the person's death has had and will have on the people who loved them. You might choose a phrase like "Always in our hearts", "Treasured by family and friends", "Her memory will live on" or "Forever loved".

People also often include quotations from songs, literature and religious texts. Here are some ideas:

"We'll meet again" – Vera Lynn
"The song is ended, but the melody lingers on" – Irving Berlin
"Music, when soft voices die, / Vibrates in the memory" – Percy Bysshe Shelley
"I am the way, and the truth, and the life" – John 14:6
"To Allah we belong and to him we shall return" – Quran 2:156

When choosing a quotation, the important thing to remember is that there are no right or wrong choices. There are only choices that are more or less appropriate to the person who died.

The quotation could be from a song, poem or film loved by the person who died. It could be their favourite phrase or something they often said. It could be a well-known phrase. It all depends on your wishes and what you know about the person being remembered.

If in doubt, speak to family or friends. You could also ask your funeral director or the stonemason for advice.

Are you looking for affordable funeral services in London ? At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we'll lend a listening ear and help you arrange the funeral you want – no matter your faith or personal needs. Please don't hesitate to get in touch – our phone lines are open 24/7.

Who is responsible for arranging a funeral?

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Mon, 14 Jul 2025 08:17:18 GMT

When a person dies, their loved ones usually plan a funeral. Learn who should take responsibility for it.

When a person dies, the most pressing task is arranging the funeral. Many people, however, only learn about this process when the time comes. This can pile up stress at an already difficult time.

In most cases, the person responsible for arranging a funeral is the next of kin. This is the person who was the closest living relative to the person when they died.

There's an order of priority to next of kin. It goes:

Spouse
Adult children
Parents
Siblings

However, the next of kin isn't always responsible for arranging a funeral. If the person who died left a will, they will probably have named an executor. This is the person responsible for dealing with the estate (the money and possessions the person left behind).

If the executor is a different person from the next of kin, the next of kin might play a role in arranging the funeral. However, they don't have legal responsibility. This is partly because the executor has access to funds to pay for the funeral.

This is one reason it's so important to find the will after a person has died. It can have an immediate effect on who will organise the funeral. It's also one reason why it's so important to make one during your own lifetime.

Who has the right to organise a funeral?

If there's a valid will, the named executor will organise the funeral – and the executor's decision is final. This is the case even if there are objections from family, friends or community groups about the nature of the burial, cremation or service.

If there's no valid will, responsibility for organising a funeral usually falls to the next of kin. The rules of intestacy can apply. These are rules that decide who deals with the estate.

If there's no family and nobody else is available to pay for the funeral, the local government will hold a public health funeral. This is a simple service that makes sure the person is laid to rest with dignity.

Disputes about funeral arrangements aren't unheard of. The ideal situation is for them to be resolved before the funeral takes place. In rare cases, however, the matter has to be resolved in court.

Who has to pay for a funeral?

If there's a will, the named executor has access to the funds and assets of the person who has died. These can be used to cover funeral costs. Alternatively, the person may have put aside money for a funeral or taken out life insurance or a funeral plan.

For the executor, arranging the funeral is just one part of their role. They also have to pay off debts and distribute assets (money and possessions) among the people named in the will.

If there are no available funds in the person's estate, this doesn't mean that the next of kin has to shoulder the cost of the funeral.

There are government support schemes in place. These include the Funeral Expenses Payment , the Bereavement Support Payment , Budgeting Loans and the Children's Funeral Fund for England . Different schemes are in place across the four nations.

Families may also be eligible for payment plans to make payments more manageable.

If there's still no money to fund the funeral, the local council will hold a public health funeral. This is a simple service held at a date and time chosen by the council.

How do you arrange a funeral?

In the UK, arranging a funeral typically involves choosing a funeral director. They can help you plan the burial or cremation and the service.

Some funeral directors specialise in funerals for a particular faith or background. Others, like us, work with people from all backgrounds.

You can find a funeral director through the National Association of Funeral Directors or by looking online. You may also know of a local funeral director in your area. This can be convenient at a difficult time.

Alternatively, you can arrange the funeral yourself. This can be cheaper than going through a funeral director – and some people like the level of control it allows.

It's worth bearing in mind, however, that there are many tasks to complete when arranging a funeral. You should be sure you feel up to it before taking on all the arrangements yourself.

When should a funeral be held?

In the UK, funerals are typically held a week or two after somebody dies. Some religions, such as Judaism and Islam , tend to hold funerals more quickly.

Before a funeral can take place, the death must be registered and a death certificate obtained.

Sometimes, the funeral takes place more than a fortnight after the person dies. This could be because of family circumstances, a coroner's inquest or the availability of a venue or funeral director.

A memorial service can be held at any point. This is one reason for their increasing popularity.

How can a funeral director help arrange a funeral?

If you're responsible for arranging a funeral, you may worry that you have a lot of responsibility on your shoulders.

Reaching out to friends and family can be a good idea. But there's no need to carry the burden alone. A funeral director can help you arrange a funeral and reduce your stress at a difficult time.

Funeral directors can handle lots of essential tasks for you. They will arrange for the person who died to be transported to the cemetery or crematorium. They will handle difficult paperwork.

They can talk you through your options for burial or cremation . They can help select a venue. They can also help choose a coffin, floral decorations and other practical tasks.

Akshardham Funeral Directors is an independent London funeral home with 20+ years of experience. We provide a listening ear to people of all backgrounds and faiths to help them arrange the funeral they want.

Do you need our support? Please call on 020 8355 7876 – our lines are always open.

How to find out if someone has a funeral plan

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Fri, 11 Jul 2025 06:47:51 GMT

Locating the funeral plan of a person who has died isn't always easy. Here are some things you can try.

When someone in your life dies, there can be a lot to be done as well as lots of emotions to process. Chief among these administrative tasks is organising a funeral.

Some people in the UK choose to take out funeral plans. This involves pre-paying for funeral costs such as the funeral director, the coffin, the hearse and the cremation or burial. In 2024, 1.75 million people had plans , with 184,000 taking new ones out in that year alone.

It can happen, however, that a funeral plan gets mislaid. If this happens to you, it can be stressful to locate it when you're supposed to be organising a funeral.

There are, however, concrete steps you can take to locate a funeral plan.

1. Ask your local funeral director

If the person who died had a funeral plan, they may have organised it with their local funeral director. You can contact them directly asking if this is correct.

You could also check with the bigger funeral directors in the UK. The three biggest are Co-op Funeralcare, Dignity Group and Funeral Partners.

2. Ask people in the person's life

It may be that the person who has died told a friend, family member or even colleague about their funeral plans. If you can't find the plan, it can be worth asking around to see if anyone can point you in the right direction.

3. Check the paperwork of the person who died

A person's funeral plan may be recorded in their paperwork.

Funeral plans are often paid by monthly Direct Debits, meaning past bank statements should be your first port of call. If they paid in cash, however, you'll have to look through their paperwork for references to their funeral plan.

You should also check insurance policy documentation, as many people in the UK have funeral plans worked into their insurance policies.

If you do find evidence of a funeral plan in the person's paperwork, you can then directly contact the funeral provider for more information.

H3: 4. Use Find My Plan

Find My Plan is a free online search tool from the National Association of Funeral Plan Providers (NAFPP). It checks with funeral plan providers across the country to find your plan so that you don't have to contact them one by one.

Your request is shared with funeral plan providers. If a match is found, they will contact you directly. If no match is found, however, you won't hear back.

To use Find My Plan, you need to complete a search form. You should enter as much information as you can about the person who may have held the plan and any details you know about it. Useful information includes previous names, old addresses and provider details. You then verify your email address and submit your search.

Find My Plan can be used by planholders themselves or friends and family members searching for the plan of a person who died. In this second instance, you may need legal authority to make the request (for instance, being an executor of the estate).

5. Look on My Funeral Matters

My Funeral Matters is a similar service to Find My Plan. It's a database containing information about most of the UK's funeral plan providers. As with Find My Plan, you make a request and the company sends it to all the providers on its database.

The main difference is that My Funeral Matters is a paid service. It costs £9.99 per search.

6. Look at online funeral notices

If you're not responsible for organising the funeral, you can find out if someone had a funeral plan by checking online funeral notices and local newspapers. These may not tell you directly about a pre-paid funeral plan, but they might point you in the right direction.

What is a funeral plan?

A funeral plan involves paying for some or all of your funeral costs in advance. This can give peace of mind to the planholder and reduce financial strain for the people they leave behind. The most common alternative is to leave money in your will to cover your funeral costs.

A funeral plan typically includes a funeral director's service, a coffin, a hearse and the cost of cremation or burial. Plans can include extras and vary in price accordingly.

If you do take out a funeral plan, it can be advisable to involve family members or friends. This means they'll know where your funeral plan is and what to do when you die. You should also let your funeral plan provider know if you change your address.

Why take out a funeral plan?

Not everyone can afford a funeral plan. For those who can, it has several advantages. Like all aspects of the funeral industry, however, there are no right or wrong decisions – only different approaches.

People who take out funeral plans point to the fact that they cover essential costs, which can reduce financial strain for loved ones. Some also point to the fact that you can lock in present prices and avoid future price increases.

What does a funeral plan cost?

Funeral plans typically cost somewhere between £3,000 and £5,000. This depends on what's included in the plan. Direct cremation, for instance, costs much less than a plan with a hearse and a wood-effect coffin.

Can I buy a funeral plan for someone else?

Yes, you can set up a funeral plan for another person. This could be a parent, a partner or another loved one. Taking out a funeral plan for someone else can be a way to ease their financial burden and make sure their funeral wishes are honoured.

Akshardham Funeral Directors is a team of experienced funeral directors in North London . We work with people of all backgrounds and funerals to give them the funeral they want.

8 creative things to do with cremated ashes

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Mon, 07 Jul 2025 08:06:22 GMT

When a person is cremated, loved ones often receive the ashes. Here are 8 thoughtful things to do with them.

After a person is cremated, the ashes are often returned to their next of kin. Many people keep them in their homes in an urn or other receptacle.

Some people, however, find ways to get creative with ashes. This lets them remember the person who died in a way that's arguably more personal and sometimes more quirky.

As with all aspects of grief, there are no right or wrong options. There are only options that are more or less fitting.

When thinking about what to do with a person's ashes, it can be helpful to focus on their interests and personality. It can also be beneficial to talk to other people who knew them.

From jewellery to vinyl, from fireworks to artworks, there are many things you can do with cremated ashes. Here are eight ideas. We hope they inspire you.

1. Cremation jewellery

Ashes can be incorporated into all kinds of jewellery – from pendants to rings, from bracelets to dog collars.

There are two main options. First, the piece of jewellery can contain or be fitted with a small compartment for the ashes.

Secondly, the ashes can be fused into the materials during the manufacturing process. This can be done with gold, silver and even lab-grown diamonds.

What's more, the jewellery can be engraved or otherwise marked with the name of the person who has died.

Cremation jewellery allows you to keep a physical memory of the person who died on your person for most of the time. For this reason, some people see it as a touching and personal memorial.

2. Artworks

Was the person who died an art lover? Do you want a piece of art in your home that reminds you of them? If so, you could incorporate the person's ashes into an original work of art.

The possibilities are endless. Cremated ashes can be fused into glass paperweights, ornaments or other decorative pieces.

They can be mixed into the materials used to make sculptures or into the paints for a portrait or other painting.

The finished artwork can be of any style, subject and size. The main thing is to create – or have created – something that reflects the personality, interests and life of the person who died.

3. Scattering ashes

Ashes don't have to be kept in one place forever. They can be scattered outside in a location that had personal significance for the person who has died.

There are some rules and regulations surrounding the scattering of ashes. The most important one is that you need to seek permission if scattering ashes on privately owned land that's not your own.

You should also do your best to make sure the ashes aren't scattered near fisheries or drinking water supplies. This is to avoid contaminating the water with the ashes.

4. Tree planting

Increasingly, people are choosing to bury loved ones in woodlands, meadows and other designated natural spaces.

There's also the option to plant a tree with their ashes mixed into the soil. It's important to note, however, that a specially formulated planting mix is required. This is to neutralise the high alkalinity of the ashes, keeping the soil and the new tree healthy.

The result is a peaceful, eco-friendly living memorial. This could be in a woodland burial site, a cemetery or your own garden.

5. Tattoos

Many people have tattoos memorialising loved ones who have died. But did you know some tattoo artists will mix ashes into the ink before applying it?

Just a small amount of ashes is required to make this work. The resulting memorial tattoo can be a great way to honour and remember the person who died.

As with tattoos in general, there are almost unlimited possibilities for placement and content. It could consist of text, images or a combination of the two.

6. Fireworks

People remember loved ones in different ways. Some want funeral services to be quiet and reflective. Others want a celebration .

If you fall into the second camp, you may want to consider scattering ashes in a fireworks display.

A handful of companies offer this service. Some of the cremated ashes are put inside fireworks and launched as part of a display. When the firework explodes, the ashes are scattered.

This could form part of a funeral service or celebration of life. Alternatively, the fireworks could be set off in your garden or another green space.

7. Vinyl records

If the person who has died was a music lover, you may want a musical memorial. Companies like And Vinyly press cremated ashes into vinyl. "When the album that is life finally reaches its end," they say, "why not keep that record spinning for eternity?"

Different options are available. The record could be a personal message, a last will and testament, a voice recording or a favourite song. Perhaps more poignantly still, it could be a blank record – the sound of silence.

Once pressed, the record can be customised with a label, sleeves and even artwork. These could also incorporate the ashes.

8. Space burial

Space burial consists of launching human remains into space. The spacecraft could orbit the Moon or travel farther into space.

The idea was first mooted by science fiction author Neil R Jones in his 1931 novella The Jameson Satellite . Today, it's a reality.

The pioneer in this field is Celestis. It charges around $3,000 to launch human remains into space. There are, however, cheaper options in this niche market.

It's not for everyone – and not only because of the price. But for a person who loved space, an extraterrestrial burial could be a fitting tribute.

Are you considering a cremation with a funeral service in London? At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we can provide patient, step-by-step guidance to help you plan the funeral you want. Please don't hesitate to get in touch if you need our support or have any questions. Our lines are open 24/7.

8 beautiful and powerful funeral songs from the 60s

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Fri, 04 Jul 2025 07:22:50 GMT

Are you looking for a song from the 60s to play at a funeral? Explore 8 varied options in our guide.

Choosing the right song for a funeral can add a lot to the event. It can tell the attendees something about the person who died and stir powerful emotions.

There are songs from all periods and all genres that fit the bill. In this article, we're looking at a fertile time for popular music: the 1960s.

We've barely scratched the surface, yet here are eight songs that have the beauty, power and nostalgia value you could be looking for. We hope it helps.

1. Karen Dalton: Little Bit of Rain (1969)

Written by the American singer-songwriter Fred Neil, "Little Bit of Rain" is a song that asks the question: how would you like to be remembered?

"If I should leave you," sings Karen Dalton, "Try to remember the good times / Warm days filled with sunshine / And just a little bit of rain."

It's a soft, swaying song with country inflections. The lack of drums gives it an intimate quality, as though you're sitting on the floor at a 1960s house party.

2. Bob Dylan: Restless Farewell (1964)

The closing track from his 1964 album The Times They Are A-Changin' , Bob Dylan's "Restless Farewell" is a song of defiance at closing time.

The melody is borrowed from the Scottish traditional song "The Parting Glass". Dylan learnt this from The Clancy Brothers, fellow performers on the Greenwich Village folk circuit.

But where the traditional song is about leaving home, Dylan's is about keeping on in the face of judgment: "So I'll make my stand / And remain as I am / And bid farewell and not give a damn".

3. Procol Harum: A Whiter Shade of Pale (1967)

If you love the music of the Summer of Love, you'll doubtless be familiar with this hit from English rock band Procol Harum.

We say "rock" – but this track is characterised by its combination of church-like organ (based on J.S. Bach's "Air on a G String") and jazzy drums.

The sheer nostalgia of the track and the cathartic release into the chorus make this a popular choice at funerals. There's also an instrumental jazz version by King Curtis , used to great effect in Withnail & I to convey the passing of the 60s.

The Kinks: Days (1968)

Gratitude is a keynote of every funeral – and "Days" by The Kinks communicates the feeling simply and effectively.

Thank you for the days

Those endless days, those sacred days you gave me

I'm thinking of the days

I won't forget a single day, believe me

It was written by Ray Davies for his sister Rosie when she moved to Australia. He later explained : "It's a goodbye song, but it's also an inspirational song… It could also mean a new beginning."

This combination of melancholy and hope is reflected in the music with its ballad-like strings and toe-tapping groove.

5. The Beatles: In My Life (1965)

Taken from The Beatles' Rubber Soul album, "In My Life" is a song that looks back over a life and reflects on the people who made it what it was:

All these places had their moments

With lovers and friends, I still can recall

Some are dead and some are living

In my life, I've loved them all

With its warm guitar tone, delicate harmonies and gorgeous melody, "In My Life" is a song that's once heard, never forgotten.

6. The Left Banke: Walk Away Renée (1966)

This classic song from American band The Left Banke is perhaps best known for its soaring chorus, all trembling strings and aching close harmonies.

With its harpsichord-led arrangement and flute solo, it's a song that's as 60s as they come. A song of parting, it's characterised by a sincere, pained delivery that could well resonate at a funeral.

For lovers of Motown, there's also a version by The Four Tops .

7. The Band: The Weight (1968)

Written by The Band's guitarist Robbie Robertson, "The Weight" has cryptic lyrics filled with Biblical references and larger-than-life characters. But at its core is a message of friendship and support in difficult times.

The feeling of camaraderie is reflected in the rising, layered vocals. Meanwhile, the shimmering piano and wordless falsetto help create a mood of hope, possibility and contemplation.

"The Weight" has been recorded by many artists, including gospel group The Staple Singers .

8. Joni Mitchell: Both Sides Now (1966)

In "Both Sides Now", Joni Mitchell reflects on the duality of life. Clouds bring beauty and block the sun. Love can be a fairytale or a nightmare. Life can bring pleasure and pain.

Yet at the end of the day, Mitchell sings, "It's life's illusions I recall / I really don't know life at all". This introspective looking-back makes it a popular choice at funerals.

With its gently strummed guitar and silvery vocals, "Both Sides Now" is a 60s classic for a reason. In 2000, she recorded a lush orchestral version for her song cycle of the same name.

How to choose a funeral song

Choosing a song for a funeral isn't always easy. Usually, people want to choose something that was meaningful to the person who died while at the same time fitting the mood of the occasion.

In our opinion, it's not something you can get wrong so long as you tick these two boxes. The song could be sombre, humorous or both – it all depends on the spirit of the person who died and the mood of their send-off.

Akshardham Funeral Directors is a North London-based independent funeral director . We provide a compassionate and flexible service to people from all faiths and backgrounds. Do you need our support? Please call on 020 8355 7876 – our lines are open 24/7.

Islamic funeral traditions: what happens at a Muslim funeral?

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Fri, 27 Jun 2025 05:49:46 GMT

Are you attending an Islamic funeral for the first time? Learn what happens and what to expect at the service.

The world is full of rich and varied funeral traditions. Each country, culture and religion has its own way of saying goodbye to lost loved ones.

Rites and rituals can even vary within the same faith. An Islamic (Muslim) funeral in France, for instance, might look slightly different to one in Morocco, Belarus or Brazil.

In this guide, we look at how Muslim funerals typically work in the UK. You might find it useful if:

You're a non-Muslim who's been invited to a Muslim funeral
You're a Muslim who hasn't been to a funeral before
You're curious about how different faiths cope with death, dying and saying goodbye

What happens at a Muslim funeral in the UK?

The Islamic funeral is known as Janāzah . This term covers the funeral service itself, as well as the main prayer performed at the service.

Funeral rituals happen in five stages and begin as soon as the person has died:

Ghusl : washing the person's body
Takfeen : w rapping the person's body in a shroud
Janāzah salah: reciting funeral prayers
Tashīʿ: carrying the person's body to the grave
Tadfeen: the burial

Let's look at each of these stages in turn.

1. Ghusl (ritual washing)

In Islam, the word ghusl refers to any ritual washing process. It also refers to the final ritual bath performed on a person after they have died.

Muslims believe that performing ghusl purifies the body and soul and prepares the person for the afterlife ( Akhirah ).

First, the person is laid on a table and their clothes are removed. Then, the body is washed with clean, lukewarm water. Next, it is washed again with soapy water or water perfumed with lote leaves. The whole process is repeated several times, following a strict pattern.

Family members usually perform ghusl . The people who perform it are typically of the same gender as the person who died.

That's a simple explanation of the ghusl process. Here's a more in-depth description of the steps involved.

2. Takfeen (shrouding)

As soon as the person's body has been washed, it's dried and wrapped from head to toe in a shroud. This shroud is made of plain, inexpensive fabric cut into several pieces (usually three to eight).

The body remains in this shroud throughout the funeral and burial. Coffins aren't often used in Islamic funeral rites.

3. Janāzah (the funeral service)

Islamic funerals take place in a mosque, which is the main Muslim place of worship. A faith leader called an 'imam' conducts the funeral. The imam who leads the attendees in prayer and reads from the Quran (Muslim holy book).

The main funeral prayer is called the Janāzah or Ṣalāt al-Janāzah . The prayer is recited in Arabic. It asks Allah (God) to forgive the person who has died for their sins.

Muslims perform the Janāzah in a special way. Unlike daily prayers ( Salat ), which are recited while kneeling on the floor, the Janāzah is spoken while standing. The mourners line up in at least three rows and follow the imam in saying the prayer aloud.

4. Tashīʿ (the funeral procession)

This is where the person's body is carried to the place of burial.

Traditionally, the body would be carried using a frame called a 'bier' and transported on foot. However, it's now common to use a car to transport it to the cemetery. People then carry the body a short distance to the grave.

It's most often men who carry the bier while other mourners follow behind. The procession is quiet, dignified and respectful.

5. Tadfeen (burial)

Finally, the person's body is buried in its shroud.

Islamic graves are arranged in a specific way. They're dug so the head of the grave faces away from Mecca at 90 degrees. Mecca is the holiest site in Islam.

This arrangement means the right-hand side of the person's body faces Mecca when placed into the grave.

To prepare the grave for burial, stones or pieces of wood are placed inside it. This makes sure the body doesn't touch the soil.

As the body is lowered into the grave, the imam says a few final prayers. Each mourner throws three handfuls of earth onto the body.

Once the grave is filled in, it's typically marked with a small, simple headstone. Large or ornate headstones are rare.

How long does a Muslim funeral take?

Muslim funerals happen very quickly. This is an important part of Islamic beliefs. Ideally, the person should be buried within 24 hours of death.

The funeral ceremony (including the Janāzah prayer) usually takes between 30 and 60 minutes, not including the burial.

After the burial, close family members go into a period of mourning. They stay at home and receive visitors, who offer support and often bring gifts of food. This mourning period lasts three days.

Can a non-Muslim attend a Muslim funeral?

Yes. If you're a non-Muslim and you've been invited to an Islamic funeral, you're welcome to attend.

You'll be expected to quietly observe the funeral service and then follow the procession at a respectful distance. As a non-Muslim, you won't be allowed to take part in prayers or rituals.

Don't worry too much about causing offence or doing something wrong. Most of the time, people will welcome your support and won't mind providing gentle guidance on what to do.

However, you should know that Muslim funeral traditions may be a little different to what you're used to. For instance, while it's OK to feel sad at the funeral, Muslims tend to express their grief quietly. Crying loudly or wailing is frowned upon.

It's also not customary to bring flowers, presents or cards to the funeral service. However, the family will probably welcome gifts of food during the three-day mourning period after the funeral.

If you have any doubts or questions, it's best to ask.

What to wear to a Muslim funeral

Islamic funerals are quiet, dignified and respectful. That applies to the clothing people wear at the funeral, too.

Men should wear a simple shirt and trousers. Women should wear an ankle-length skirt or trousers, cover their heads and wear minimal or no makeup. Go for dark colours – black is best, but any dark shade is acceptable.

Shoes should be simple, clean and presentable. Remember that it's customary to remove your shoes before entering the prayer room, so be sure to wear presentable socks or tights, too.

Akshardham Funeral Directors is an independent funeral home based in North London. We help families of all faiths arrange the funeral that feels right for them. That includes arranging Muslim funeral services . Why not follow our blog to learn more about different kinds of funerals?

What is the difference between a funeral and a wake?

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Mon, 23 Jun 2025 08:12:53 GMT

Funerals and wakes are both ceremonies that happen after a person dies. Learn the differences in our guide.

Funerals and wakes are both ceremonies that take place after a person dies. It's easy to see why someone might confuse the two.

So, what exactly is the difference?

Put simply, a funeral is a formal ceremony where people say goodbye to the person who has died. The wake is a more informal get-together that usually occurs after the funeral and focuses on sharing memories and celebrating the person's life.

Those are the basics. But there's a little more to it than just that. Let's look at the differences in more detail.

What is a funeral?

A funeral service is a formal ceremony that happens after a person has died.

There are lots of types of funerals, many of which have roots in religious and cultural traditions. These cultures might have their own names for their distinctive ceremonies, but the word 'funeral' covers them all.

The traditional UK funeral is quite sombre. People wear dark, smart clothes, and the service has a serious feel. In modern times, however, this is changing – many people now choose more informal funeral ceremonies or 'celebrations of life'.

For many years, there were two main funeral options to choose from – burial and cremation . However, this is also changing. Alternative funeral options like direct cremation and natural burial are becoming more popular.

Religious funerals traditionally take place in a place of worship, such as a church, mosque or gurdwara. Non-religious funerals can happen anywhere. Either way, the person's body is usually present during the ceremony.

What is a funeral wake?

A funeral wake is a get-together that usually takes place after a funeral service.

All wakes are different. However, they typically feel more informal than a funeral ceremony. People might drink alcohol and share a buffet or sit down for a meal. It may feel a bit like a party – but with a tinge of sadness, as the guests are there to remember a loved one.

Unlike a funeral service, which tends to follow a strict format, there's no set schedule at a wake. It's more about mingling, catching up with old friends and sharing memories of the person who died.

Wakes can happen at any almost venue. Popular options in the UK include pubs, social clubs and hotel function rooms. Guests often go to the wake venue immediately after the funeral service. In this way, it can help people let off steam after the heightened emotions of the funeral.

A funeral wake is sometimes known as a 'funeral reception' or 'funeral tea'. If it revolves around a meal, it might be called a 'repast'.

Funeral wake vs service: the two ceremonies compared

Can you have a funeral without a wake?

Yes. While it's common to hold a wake in the UK, it's not obligatory.

Lots of people choose to hold a funeral without a wake. Some have an informal memorial service at a later date. Others feel a funeral service is enough and a wake isn't necessary.

In many cultures, wakes are not a traditional part of a funeral. In Islam, for instance, the funeral is followed by a mourning period. During this mourning period, the family stays at home for three days and receives gifts of food from loved ones.

Why is a funeral wake called a 'wake'?

Today, the word 'wake' usually refers to a get-together after a funeral service. In the past, however, the wake happened before the funeral. This kind of wake looked very different to the social gatherings we see today.

In those times, relatives would keep watch over their loved one's body during the night until the funeral the following day. But it's not called a 'wake' because the family stayed awake with the body. The word 'wake' comes from the Old English waecce , which means 'vigil' or 'guard'.

These early wakes were quiet and sombre. However, with time, wakes developed a more social and uplifting atmosphere. They were no longer limited to close relatives. Friends and acquaintances would visit the home of the person who had died to pay their respects and offer their support to the family.

This type of wake – a social gathering at home before the funeral – is still an important part of Irish funeral traditions. They're also common in parts of England, Scotland and North America. However, most people in the UK use 'wake' to mean a social gathering after the funeral service.

Is a funeral wake a Catholic thing?

In the UK and Ireland, wakes began as a Catholic tradition. They marked the start of the funeral process, when mourners would gather to watch over the person's body. A priest would also arrive to say a few words and lead the mourners in prayer.

These kinds of Catholic wakes still happen today. They may last a few hours or go on for several days. Traditionally, the family would hold the wake at the home of the person who died. Today, however, they're more likely to happen at a funeral home.

You don't have to be Catholic to have a funeral wake, though. Many non-Catholics and non-religious people choose to have wakes. However, most non-Catholics hold the wake after the funeral service without the person's body being present.

Are you planning a funeral with a wake in London? We can help you make the right arrangements for your family and the person who has died. Please feel free to contact us in your own time. Or why not start by reading our guide on how to arrange a funeral ?

Wills and probate: executor vs administrator

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Fri, 20 Jun 2025 07:44:51 GMT

Who handles a person's will and probate? Learn the difference between an executor and an administrator.

You might hear terms like 'executor', 'administrator' and 'probate' when discussing someone's will or their estate. But what do they actually mean?

This guide explains the difference between an executor and an administrator and what each role involves. It also looks at when each role is needed and what to expect if you're asked to take it on.

What is probate?

Probate is the legal process of dealing with a person's estate after their death. An estate is everything a person owned, including their money, property and possessions. If they left a will, it will also involve making sure their wishes are carried out according to that will.

You usually need legal permission to start dealing with someone's estate. This permission is called:

A 'grant of probate' if there's a will
A 'grant of letters of administration' if there's no will

What's the difference between an executor and an administrator?

If the person who died left a will, it will name an executor. This is the person who will deal with the estate.

If there's no will, a close relative (usually a spouse, parent or adult child) can apply to become the administrator.

The roles are very similar. Both involve collecting the person's assets, paying off any debts and passing on what's left to the right people. However, the route to getting permission is different, depending on whether a valid will exists.

What does an executor do?

If someone named you in their will as their executor, you are legally responsible for dealing with their estate.

Your duties may include:

Registering the death
Applying for probate
Notifying banks, pensions and other organisations
Paying any debts or taxes owed
Distributing money or belongings as set out in the will

You can have more than one executor. It's common to name two – sometimes a family member and a solicitor or two siblings. Executors can work together or divide tasks.

It's important to remember that if you're named as an executor and don't feel able to take it on, you don't have to. You can step back or appoint someone else to act on your behalf.

What does an administrator do?

If there's no will, there's no named executor. Instead, someone close to the person who has died must apply to be the administrator. This is usually the next of kin – often a partner, adult child or parent.

You'll need to apply for a grant of letters of administration. Once this is granted, you'll be responsible for managing the estate in line with the law. You won't have a will to follow, so you'll need to use the rules of intestacy. These rules decide who inherits what.

(More on that below.)

The administrator's job is very similar to that of an executor but with fewer personal instructions to guide you. That can sometimes make things more complex.

When is probate needed?

You may not always need to apply for probate or letters of administration. For example, you might not need to if:

The person who died held assets that were jointly owned and will pass to the other owner
They had very little money or property
The bank agrees to release the funds without a formal application

In many cases, however, probate is required – especially if the estate includes property or significant savings.

If you're not sure, speak to a solicitor, a bank or your funeral director. They should be able to guide you on whether probate is necessary in your situation.

How long does probate take?

Probate usually takes between six and 12 months, but it can vary. It depends on the size and complexity of the estate and whether there are any disputes.

As an executor or administrator, it's your job to keep things moving – but some delays are out of your hands. You might end up waiting for paperwork from banks, responses from other family members or confirmation from the probate registry.

What if there's no will at all?

If a person dies without a will, this is known as 'dying intestate'. In this case:

No executor is named
The estate is divided using legal rules (the rules of intestacy)
A close family member applies to be the administrator

These rules can feel quite strict. For example, unmarried partners don't automatically inherit anything – even if they lived together for many years. This can be difficult for families who expected different arrangements.

If you're in this situation, it's a good idea to get legal advice on what steps to take.

What if I don't want to act as executor or administrator?

It's okay to say no. If you don't feel able to take on the role, you can step back. Another person named in the will may be able to act instead. Alternatively, you can appoint a solicitor.

Are you the only person eligible? You can ask a solicitor to help you work through what's possible. There may be a fee for this, but it can ease the burden.

AFD is a team of independent funeral directors based in North London. We're here to offer step-by-step guidance to help you plan the funeral you want. For more advice on funerals, memorials and probate, follow the AFD blog .

What is a Humanist funeral service like?

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Mon, 16 Jun 2025 07:03:30 GMT

Considering a non-religious funeral? Discover Humanist funerals and see if they're the right choice for you.

If you've never been to a Humanist funeral, you may be wondering what they're all about. What happens? Who leads it? And how are they different from traditional religious funerals?

In this blog, we explain what a Humanist funeral is like and how it works. We hope it will help you decide if it's the right fit for you or the person you're planning a funeral for.

Humanist funerals: the basics

A Humanist funeral is a non-religious ceremony that celebrates a person's life, values and relationships. There are no hymns or prayers. Instead, the service is shaped around who they were and what mattered to them.

Some people choose this kind of funeral because the person wasn't religious. They're also a popular choice for those looking for something simple or more personal. Humanist funerals don't mention heaven or an afterlife, though they are still respectful and heartfelt.

Above all else, it's a ceremony about remembering and celebrating the person who has died.

What usually happens at a Humanist funeral?

There isn't one fixed format. However, many Humanist funerals follow a similar structure.

The service is led by a Humanist celebrant. Their job is to welcome people and introduce the ceremony.

Once everyone is settled, the celebrant usually shares a tribute. This is sometimes called a 'life story' or 'eulogy'. It reflects on the person's character, life, relationships and memories.

Music and readings – like poetry – are popular. Many choose favourites of the person who has died. Some people invite family or friends to speak or read poetry. Others ask the celebrant to do all the talking.

At the end of the ceremony, there's usually a committal. This is when the curtains close at a crematorium or as the coffin is lowered at a burial. It's often the most emotional part of the service. The celebrant will say a few final words to mark this moment.

Is a Humanist funeral just for people who were part of Humanist groups?

Not at all. You don't have to belong to a Humanist group or hold formal Humanist beliefs. Humanist funerals are open to anyone who wants a non-religious service.

It might feel like the right choice if the person who died didn't follow a religion or never talked about one. It's also common for families to choose a Humanist funeral because they want the focus to be on the person, not on ritual or scripture.

If you're not sure, talk to a celebrant or a funeral director. They can help you decide what feels most appropriate.

Where do Humanist funerals take place?

Humanist funerals can be held almost anywhere that allows a funeral ceremony. This includes:

Crematoriums
Natural burial grounds
Cemeteries
Halls or community spaces
Private venues like pubs
A person's home or garden

There's no rule that says it must happen at the same time as the burial or cremation. Some people choose a direct cremation, then hold a Humanist memorial service a few days or weeks later. This gives you more flexibility and more time to plan.

What does a Humanist celebrant do?

A Humanist celebrant is a trained professional who writes and leads non-religious funeral ceremonies.

Before the funeral, they meet with family or friends to learn about the person who died. They try to get a sense of them, asking about their personality, life, values and relationships. Afterwards, they write a script that reflects what was shared.

The celebrant delivers this on the day, guiding the ceremony and helping everyone feel supported. They'll also help plan the structure and timings and work with the funeral director to make sure everything runs smoothly.

Are Humanist celebrants the same as civil celebrants?

No – they are ever-so-slightly different.

Civil celebrants can include religious elements in the ceremony (such as hymns or prayers) if the family wants them. Humanist celebrants won't include religion at all. It's one of the things that makes this kind of ceremony unique.

Can friends or family speak at a Humanist funeral?

Yes. Many Humanist funerals include contributions from friends or family. These could be readings, poems, letters, stories or messages.

You don't have to speak if you don't want to. Some people ask the celebrant to read something on their behalf. This can be especially helpful if someone thinks they will be too overwhelmed or upset on the day.

If more than one person wants to speak, it's a good idea to agree on this in advance so the service doesn't feel rushed. The celebrant can help work out who's saying what and when.

Can you have music or poems at a Humanist funeral?

Yes.

It may feel right to include music or readings that were meaningful to the person who died. This might be a favourite song, a poem they liked or something that reminds people of them.

There are no rules about how many readings or songs to include. You can keep it very simple or add more structure if that feels helpful. Some families also show photos or play a video. Others include symbolic touches, like lighting candles or sharing memories.

Just keep in mind that a Humanist funeral avoids religious texts. If you'd like to include religious content, it's better to speak to a civil celebrant instead.

Can you still have a wake or reception after a Humanist funeral?

Yes. Like any other funeral, you can follow the ceremony with a wake or gathering.

This might take place at the crematorium, a family home, a cafe or pub, or somewhere else meaningful. Some people keep it very low-key. Others use it as a chance to share stories and celebrate.

It's also possible to hold a Humanist memorial later on, even if there was no formal funeral. This is often done after a direct cremation or when someone dies abroad.

How much does a Humanist funeral cost?

The cost of a Humanist funeral depends on what's included. For instance, most celebrants charge a fee for planning and leading the service. This price often falls in the range of £180 to £300 ( Humanists UK ).

This cost is in addition to the usual funeral costs, such as venue hire and funeral director fees. According to The Sunlife Cost of Dying Report 2025 , the average funeral cost in the UK currently sits at £4,285.

Is a Humanist funeral right for us?

That's a personal choice. If the person who died didn't follow a religion or didn't want a religious ceremony, then a Humanist funeral might feel like a fitting way to say goodbye.

These ceremonies work well for people who valued kindness, fairness or individuality. They focus on what really mattered in a person's life, as well as the people they leave behind.

Are you considering a Humanist funeral service in London? At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we have 20 years of experience in helping families plan the funerals they want. If you need us, we're here – call 020 8355 7876 at any time or get in touch online .

Who is 'next of kin' when someone dies?

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Fri, 13 Jun 2025 06:23:55 GMT

Has a person died and you're not sure who's 'next of kin'? Learn what it means and how to manage things.

When a person close to you dies, a wave of practical things that must be done tends to follow. And this all happens at a time when you may feel least ready to handle it.

One of the first questions people are asked is: 'Are you their next of kin?' If you're already grieving, it can feel strange – even jarring – to be faced with such official language at such a difficult time.

You may not know what it means. You may not even know if you are somebody's next of kin. And that's OK.

In this article, we'll explain what 'next of kin' means in the UK and why it matters after someone dies. We'll also take you through what it might involve if you're asked to take on that role.

H3: What does 'next of kin' mean?

Next of kin is a term used to describe the person who is closest to the one who has died – emotionally or practically. It's not just about legal status or who's listed on a form. In fact, you may never have been officially listed or named as someone's next of kin.

In life, the next of kin is the person someone would want to be contacted if they were unwell or in hospital. After death, they're often the person others turn to for decisions or support.

It might be a partner, a child, a parent, a sibling or someone else entirely. There's no official rule in the UK about who it has to be.

Why is next of kin important after a death?

The next of kin is usually the first person told about a person's death. That may happen in person, over the phone or via the hospital or police.

They're also the person often asked to:

Register the death
Help organise the funeral
Support others in the family
Make decisions if there's no will

It can feel like a lot – especially when you're already hurting or trying to take in what's happened. If you've found yourself in this role, and you feel unsure or overwhelmed, that's OK. You're not expected to know exactly what to do or to go through it alone.

Who counts as next of kin?

There's no fixed list. 'Next of kin' is simply the person the one who died would have trusted to act or speak for them.

Often, it's a husband, wife, civil partner or long-term companion. But it could just as easily be a child, a parent, a sibling or a close friend.

If the person didn't say who they wanted, and no paperwork exists, those closest usually talk it through together. It's OK if that feels difficult. Not every family is straightforward. Not every relationship is easy. And you don't have to carry the responsibility alone.

A funeral director or trusted friend can often help ease these conversations and find a path forward.

What if no one is sure or there's no one close?

Sometimes, it's not obvious who should be next of kin. Perhaps the person lived alone or didn't have family nearby. In cases like these, the hospital, GP or council will do their best to find someone who cared about them – even if that's a neighbour or friend.

If no one is found, the local council may arrange a simple funeral. This is often called a 'public health funeral'. It's still done with care, and it can be possible to attend or help plan some of it. If this is something you'd like to do for someone, speak to the hospital, GP or coroner involved.

Does being next of kin give you legal authority?

Being next of kin doesn't automatically mean you're in charge of legal matters. To have legal authority, you must also be named as the executor of the will or apply to handle the estate.

That being said, the next of kin is often the one who begins the practical steps. You might be the person who speaks to the funeral home , arranges to collect personal items or registers the death.

If that feels too much, or you don't feel ready, you're allowed to step back. Others can support you, and your funeral director can help explain your options.

What if the family doesn't agree on who should take the lead?

This happens more often than people realise. Grief can bring people together, but it can also stir up tension. Perhaps the person who died had complicated relationships, for instance, or hadn't made their wishes clear.

Try to keep things focused on what the person would have wanted. Take your time. If you need a steady voice in the room, a funeral director can guide the discussion gently. This can help everyone find a respectful path forward.

What if I'm asked to be next of kin, but I'm not sure I can do it?

You don't have to say yes right away, or at all (and that's OK). If you do decide to step into the role, you don't have to put on a brave face in every moment.

You might feel numb, overwhelmed or unsure where to start. But don't worry, those are all normal responses.

Remember, you can ask others to share the load. People often pull together in times like this, so you may be surprised at the support you receive.

What does next of kin involve, in practical terms?

You may be asked to:

Register the death (this has to happen within five days in England and Wales)
Help plan the funeral, or choose someone to do that on your behalf
Collect paperwork, return belongings or pass on messages
Support with decisions about what happens next

If you're unsure what to do, a funeral director can explain things and help you through each step.

How to write a poem for a funeral

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Mon, 09 Jun 2025 07:41:15 GMT

Do you want to write a poem for a funeral or memorial service? Get some useful tips in our guide.

At a time of grief, many people look to poetry for consolation. Poems can speak to our deeper feelings and give us space to explore them. They can also express our feelings better than we can.

The world's poetry anthologies are full of poems about grief, loss and love – and many of them are suitable for funeral and memorial services. Examples range from Shakespeare to Shelley to present-day poets.

Sometimes, however, people write their own poems to celebrate and mourn the life of a person who has died. This could be their own idea or they could be asked to do it by another mourner.

If you're in this situation, you may find it difficult to know where to start. Writing a poem is like writing a eulogy. You could worry that you'll strike the wrong note or fall short of your own high standards.

At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we firmly believe there are no rules for grief. By extension, there are no rules for writing poems. The simple act of writing a poem for a funeral shows love, care and compassion. These are all qualities that are appreciated by people in mourning.

Even so, you may feel unsure about where to start. That's why we've put together this collection of tips. Our aim is to demystify the process of writing a funeral poem and to make the task more manageable. We hope it helps.

Perspiration or inspiration?

Thomas Edison famously said that genius is one percent inspiration and 99% perspiration. In other words, a good idea is important – but the hard work and dedication needed to realise it is crucial.

This quote is relevant to writing poetry because there's a view that poetry is just the product of inspiration – 'the spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings', as Wordsworth put it.

It's true that many poems begin with a moment of inspiration. But it's also true that you can seek inspiration. By putting aside an hour for perspiration, you can arrive at a moment of inspiration.

This could consist of writing down memories of the person – their habits, personality, achievements and relationships. It could consist of identifying the mood you want to capture. (Celebration? Mourning? Both?)

You might put aside time to read other funeral poems. There are many available online. You can also go to the library or bookshop and get a poetry anthology.

However you go about it, the point is to put aside some time to figure out what you want the poem to be. This process could be described as a combination of active thought and daydreaming – equal parts staring out of the window, making notes and reading around.

Once you've established your theme and tone, it's time to find a form and structure.

Finding a form

Sometimes, a thought or feeling arrives at the same time as its form. You might, for instance, think of a rhyming couplet and decide to write the rest of the poem with that pattern.

Other times, you have the thought or feeling but not the form. Your next task is to find a form to be the vessel or carrier for your ideas.

If you're not familiar with poetic forms, you could read a book on writing poetry . You could also flick through anthologies or look for funeral poems online. What rhymes and rhythms appeal to you?

Rhyming couplets and ABAB structures (where the first line rhymes with the third and the second rhymes with the fourth) are easy ways into writing a poem. More complex forms include sonnets.

It's important to remember that poems don't have to rhyme. There are, in fact, no rules. If your poem isn't coming naturally, your best bet is to look for a model and imitate it.

First thought, best thought?

The Beat poet Allen Ginsberg said of poetry: "First thought, best thought." He wanted poetry to be a spontaneous overflow like Wordsworth. But unlike Wordsworth, he thought that the process of perspiration was likely to spoil a poem rather than improve it.

You may find that your poem comes in one go, like an egg from a chicken. If not, there's no shame in writing and rewriting until you're happy.

One approach is to write a lot and then highlight the parts you like. This is the approach that Bob Dylan took when writing his song "Like a Rolling Stone".

Bob says he wrote 20 pages before he settled on the final version. But you don't need to write 20 pages – or even one page. The point is that overwriting can be the first step to writing well. You just need to keep trying and not be disheartened if the poem doesn't meet your standards straight away.

Knowing when to stop

"A poem", wrote W.B. Yeats, "comes right with a click like a closing box." But what if it doesn't?

If you can't get your poem right, there's no shame in abandoning it. This could mean starting afresh – or it could mean reading the poem as it is.

The key thing to remember is that the attendees at a funeral aren't there to judge your poem. They're there to celebrate and remember the life of the person who died. Your poem is worth reading, even if you're not completely satisfied with how it's turned out.

And if you do stop before you're satisfied, you're in good company. W.H. Auden (whose "Funeral Blues" is a classic of the genre) once remarked that "A poem is never finished, only abandoned."

Conclusion

Writing a poem for a funeral can be daunting. But with a bit of perseverance and the confidence to know when to stop, you can write something that will resonate with your fellow mourners. We wish you the best of luck.

AFD is a team of compassionate, multi-faith funeral directors in North London . Need some inspiration for your funeral poem? You'll find lots of hand-picked poetry on our blog .

What happens when someone dies abroad?

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Fri, 06 Jun 2025 13:02:47 GMT

Has someone close to you died abroad? Here's what to do next, from paperwork to bringing them home.

It can be hard to know what to do when a person you are close to dies in another country. You're probably already dealing with grief – and now you're also faced with different laws, languages and time zones.

In this guide, we explain, in simple steps, what usually happens when someone dies abroad. We also outline how to bring them home in case that's what you want to do.

Step 1: contact the local authorities

If you weren't with the person when they died, you'll usually be contacted by the police, the hospital or the British embassy.

If you hear the news another way, it's important to get in touch with the British embassy in the country where the person has died. You can find their contact details on this GOV.UK page . The embassy can help explain what happens next. They may also be able to put you in contact with local authorities, funeral homes or translators.

The person's death will need to be registered with the authorities in the country where they died. In most cases, this is handled locally first.

Step 2: get a death certificate

Getting an official local death certificate is essential. This will usually be issued in the language of the country where the person died. You may want to ask for several copies and a certified English translation.

This document is needed for legal processes, including repatriation (bringing the body home) and settling the person's affairs.

If you want to, you can also register the death in the UK. This is optional but can be helpful for future paperwork. Learn how to register a death in England .

Step 3: decide what to do next

Some choices need to be made about what happens to the body of the person who has died. You'll probably want to take into consideration their family's wishes, the person's beliefs and what's possible in the country where they died.

Here are your main options:

Repatriation: arranging to bring the person home to the UK
Cremation or burial abroad: arranging a funeral in the country where they died
Cremation abroad, ashes returned: the body is cremated locally and the ashes are sent home

There's no right answer. Some people want to bring the person home for a UK funeral. Others may prefer a simpler route, such as cremation abroad with a memorial service held later.

If you want to bring them home (repatriation)

Repatriation means arranging for the person's body to be transported back to the UK. It may sound daunting, but a funeral director with experience in repatriation can help manage the process for you.

Here's what's usually involved:

A local funeral director in the country of death prepares the body of the person who has died.
You apply for the correct paperwork (including permission to transport human remains).
The person's body is placed in a sealed coffin suitable for air travel.
A flight is arranged, usually to a major UK airport.
A UK-based funeral director collects the person who has died and brings them into their care.

Depending on the country, the process can take anywhere from a few days to two weeks.

At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we offer international repatriation services. We can take care of all the paperwork, translation and flight arrangements, as well as coordinate with the local authorities. Learn more about our repatriation services .

We know how important it can be to bring someone home. We're here to help make that happen as smoothly as possible.

If the funeral happens abroad

If you choose to hold the funeral abroad, the local authorities or funeral home will help you with the arrangements. You'll still need to decide on a burial or cremation. However, it's important to be aware that funeral practices may differ from what you're used to in the UK.

You may want to speak to a local religious or cultural group if the person who died followed particular traditions. If you're unsure who to contact, the British consulate or a funeral director in the UK may be able to help.

Some people still hold a memorial service at home afterwards, even if the funeral takes place abroad.

Bringing ashes back to the UK

If the person who died is cremated abroad, you can choose to bring their ashes home with you.

Each country and airline have their own rules, but in general, you'll need:

A copy of the death certificate
A certificate of cremation
The ashes, placed in a sealed non-metallic container
Paperwork (translated into English if necessary)

Make sure you check airline policies before travelling. It's best to carry the ashes in hand luggage with the documents close by in case you're asked to show them at security.

If you need help with this, a funeral director can advise you or supply a certificate to make travel easier.

What about travel insurance?

Some travel insurance policies cover the cost of repatriation. Others may only cover local cremation or burial. It depends on the level of cover and the person's circumstances.

If the person had insurance, check their documents or speak to the insurer as soon as possible. You may need to provide medical records or details about how the death occurred.

If insurance isn't in place, the family is usually responsible for all costs. This can include local fees, translation, transport and documentation.

Can I get help with the costs?

Are you struggling to cover the cost of repatriation or a funeral? There may be help available. In some cases, local authorities or embassies can offer guidance or limited financial support.

In the UK, you may be able to apply for a Funeral Expenses Payment . This applies to people receiving certain benefits who are arranging the funeral for a close relative. Your funeral director can talk you through the options.

It's OK to ask for help

If someone dies abroad, it's normal to feel lost, especially at first. You're dealing with grief, unfamiliar systems and a lot of unexpected decisions.

If you choose repatriation, we're here to support you. At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we can speak to the authorities on your behalf and arrange the repatriation, making sure everything is done properly. Whether you want a full funeral service, a quiet cremation or just some advice, we're ready to help.

You don't have to figure this out alone. Contact us to findout more.

Compassionate and bereavement leave explained [UK guide]

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Mon, 02 Jun 2025 06:56:23 GMT

Need time off because a person has died? Learn how bereavement and compassionate leave work in the UK.

It's only natural to need time away from work when a person close to you has died. This could be to make arrangements, support your family or simply take time out to grieve.

In the UK, there's no single law giving everyone the same amount of bereavement leave. However, most employers do offer time off. This is often referred to as 'compassionate leave' or 'bereavement leave'. You may also hear it called 'time off for dependants'.

This article explains how compassionate and bereavement leave works, including what you're entitled to and what to do if you're unsure about your rights.

Is compassionate leave the same as bereavement leave?

The terms 'compassionate leave' and 'bereavement leave' are often used to mean the same thing. However, they can have slightly different meanings.

Bereavement leave usually refers to time off after a person dies.
Compassionate leave can include other serious situations, such as a loved one being seriously ill.

Some companies use both terms. Others just use one. Either way, the important thing is that it's time off to deal with something difficult or emotional.

Am I legally entitled to bereavement leave in the UK?

The law says all employees are entitled to reasonable time off if a dependant dies. A dependant is usually:

Your husband, wife or partner
Your child
Your parent
Someone else who depends on you, such as a carer or a person you support

This entitlement comes from the Employment Rights Act 1996 . However, the law doesn't say how much time you can take, only that it should be 'reasonable'.

It also doesn't say whether this time should be paid or unpaid. That part is up to your employer.

What about parental bereavement leave?

If you lose a child under 18 or experience a stillbirth after 24 weeks of pregnancy, you may be entitled to parental bereavement leave.

Parental bereavement leave works slightly differently from bereavement leave. It's a separate legal entitlement that gives parents:

Up to two weeks off, which you can take together or in separate blocks
Statutory parental bereavement pay (if you're eligible)

This law came into force in 2020. To qualify for the pay element, you must have been employed for at least 26 weeks and meet minimum earnings criteria.

If this applies to you, speak to your HR department. They should be able to help you understand your rights and support options.

What about other family members?

If the person who died wasn't a legal dependant (for example, a sibling, grandparent, cousin or friend), you're not automatically entitled to leave by law. However, many employers still allow it.

You may be offered a set number of paid days for close family deaths. Employers may also allow you to use holiday or unpaid leave.

It's best to check your company's bereavement leave policy or speak to your line manager or HR contact. They may be more flexible than you expect.

Can I be refused time off?

Your employer can refuse leave if the person who died wasn't classed as a dependant. But in practice, many don't.

Most companies try to support their staff through grief, understanding that people need time and space to process what's happened.

If you feel your employer is being unfair, you can seek advice from Acas or Citizens Advice . Both organisations offer free and confidential support.

Do I have to show a death certificate or proof?

Employers may ask for confirmation, especially if you're taking extended leave. In most cases, however, it's enough to explain the situation and keep them updated.

A funeral director can help you get any documents you need (such as the death certificate). They may also be able to liaise with your employer if you're struggling.

What if I'm self-employed or freelance?

There's no formal compassionate leave policy for self-employed people. But you can still give yourself time to grieve.

That might mean postponing projects, reducing your hours or telling clients you need a few days off. You don't have to explain in detail. It's OK to simply let people know you're dealing with something personal.

You may also be able to claim support if your income is affected. Speak to your accountant or financial advisor if you're not sure where to start.

Taking care of yourself during bereavement

Grief affects people in many different ways. You may feel tired, tearful, numb or angry – sometimes all in the same day. It can also be difficult to focus on work, even after the funeral is over.

If you're struggling, it's okay to ask for more time or to seek professional support. Some workplaces offer Employee Assistance Programmes (EAPs), which provide free counselling or helplines.

You can also speak to your GP or contact a charity like Cruse Bereavement Support for extra help. Or, if you need to talk to someone right now, you can contact Samaritans at any time on 116 123.

If you ever feel like hurting yourself or somebody else, call 999 straight away .

Can my employer do more than the legal minimum?

Yes – and many do.

Some employers offer enhanced bereavement policies, including:

A set number of paid days off
Extended leave for close family deaths
The option to work reduced hours for a period
Access to counselling or mental health support

You don't have to manage grief on a strict timeline. If you're struggling after returning to work, speak to your manager. You might be able to adjust your workload or work from home for a while.

AFD is a Harrow funeral home that serves families throughout London and Greater London. If you need help to plan a funeral, we're here to offer step-by-step support. Please don't hesitate to call our 24-hour helpline on 020 8355 7876.

What happens at a Christian funeral service?

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Fri, 23 May 2025 07:39:21 GMT

There are many kinds of Christian funerals. Learn what Catholic, Anglican and Baptist funerals are like.

Ask the person in the street what happens at a Christian funeral service and you'll probably hear a few of the same things. There'll be a priest. There'll be hymns and prayers. But beyond that, things quickly get vague.

This is largely because Christianity isn't just one thing. In the UK, the main branch of Christianity is the Church of England (Anglican). However, the 30 million or so Brits who describe themselves as Christian belong to a variety of denominations.

A denomination is a religious group that has slightly different beliefs from other groups belonging to the same religion. Catholics, for instance, believe in Purgatory, and Unitarians believe that Jesus was a man, not the incarnation of God.

What this means in practice is that religious services, including funerals, differ from church to church. And for the purposes of this article, it means that we can't hope to cover all the different kinds of Christian funeral services.

Instead, we're focussing on the main denominations: first, the Church of England and then some other common denominations in the UK.

What do Christians believe?

Christian beliefs differ from denomination to denomination and even within denominations. However, they all believe that when a person dies, they're judged by God. The righteous go to Heaven and sinners go to Hell, although what is meant by Heaven and Hell also varies.

When a Christian dies, it's the end of their life on Earth. A funeral is held for friends and family. In most cases, this can be either a burial or a cremation and is led by a church leader.

Church of England funeral services

In the Church of England, a funeral service typically takes place about a week after the person's death. It can be held in either a church or a crematorium.

First, the priest opens the service with readings from the Bible. They then talk about the person who died. Family members or friends read poems or passages from the Bible.

Prayers of thanks, penitence and readiness for death are led by the priest and shared by the congregation. There's then a silent time for reflection.

The priest then reads a prayer of commendation and farewell: 'Let us commend [the person who died] to the mercy of God, our maker and redeemer'.

The service ends with the committal. This is where the coffin is lowered into the grave – or, at a crematorium, where the curtains are closed around the coffin.

Catholic funeral services

Catholic funeral services are slightly different from the Church of England. These differences reflect the Catholic belief in Purgatory, as well as their weekly rituals.

A Catholic funeral service can include Mass (a public worship ceremony). There can also be a vigil for the person who died, either at their home or in church. This is held a day or two before the funeral.

At the funeral service, the priest reads introductory rites, the Liturgy of the Word and the Liturgy of the Eucharist. Next, there's the final commendation and the Rite of Committal. These follow an established script and include readings from the Bible, psalms and homilies.

Presbyterian funeral services

In general, Presbyterians don't approve of cremation. Funeral services take place either at the graveside or in a church building. In church, there can be either a memorial service where the body isn't present or a funeral service with a closed casket.

The pastor leads the service with readings from scripture, hymns, prayers and a short sermon. There's a focus on the Presbyterian belief in resurrection. Sometimes, Holy Communion is celebrated, but mostly not.

Typically, this worship service doesn't include eulogies for the person who died – although prayers can include a reference to them. Instead, eulogies are read either before the service, at a visitation, at a memorial service or after the funeral at a reception.

Methodist funeral services

Methodists believe departed souls will resurrect when Christ returns. Because of this, some Methodists prefer burial. Others, however, allow cremation.

Pre-funeral viewings are common but not essential. The funeral is led by the minister and includes memories of the person who died, prayers, hymns, readings from scripture and homilies. Often, a family member or close friend will read a eulogy.

Unitarian funeral services

Unitarians believe in one God and reject the Trinity. They also believe that 'the whole of life is sacramental and while outward ceremonies are considered helpful they are certainly not considered essential'.

This means funerals are 'made personal to the couple or to the deceased'. They can happen at a church, crematorium, graveside or at home. They're personalised with music, readings, eulogies and tributes and often have a celebratory tone.

Baptist funeral services

The Baptist community is hugely diverse. Each church is independent, with no single overarching set of rules and beliefs. This is reflected in the funeral services, which range from the joyful to the sombre.

Viewings are common, with mourners going to see the person who died at their funeral home or in church a day or two before the funeral.

The funeral itself typically takes place in the church or crematorium and is led by a Baptist minister. The focus is on the part that God played in the life of the person who died and the belief that their soul is reuniting with God. Most include hymns, readings from the Bible and eulogies from friends or close family. The casket is usually closed and placed in front of the congregation.

How long does a Christian funeral last?

Christian funeral services differ in length, although many are around the 60-minute mark. This can be longer in Catholic services that include Mass.

What should you wear to a Christian funeral?

Many Christian funerals encourage dark, formal dress. However, this changes from church to church. The family or church leader will often share a dress code before the service takes place.

Are you planning a Christian funeral in London? We can offer the step-by-step guidance you need to arrange the funeral you want. Get in touch with AFD online or call 020 8355 7876.

Is there an alternative to burial or cremation?

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Mon, 19 May 2025 08:16:52 GMT

Are you looking for alternatives to traditional burial or cremation? Discover other committal options here.

When arranging a funeral, two options spring to mind for most people: burial or cremation. However, these aren't your only choices.

Depending on the funeral you're planning – and how you feel about things like tradition and the environment – you may want to explore different options.

And you wouldn't be alone. According to YouGov research, 29% of UK consumers would choose alternative ways to put a person to rest if they were available.

Some alternatives to burial and cremation are already available in the UK. Others are quite new and are not yet widely offered.

Below, we look at some of these alternatives and explain how they work. We hope this helps you choose an option that feels right for you and the person who has died.

Natural burial

Natural burials are a more environmentally friendly version of traditional burials.

This type of funeral usually involves burying the person who has died in a biodegradable coffin within a natural setting like woodland or a meadow. The land is often protected and cared for – sometimes as part of a conservation project.

People choose natural burial for lots of different reasons.

Some feel natural burial grounds are more peaceful and personal than traditional cemeteries. Others choose it for environmental reasons. Natural burial often avoids things like concrete grave liners, headstones and embalming, which can harm the planet.

There are different kinds of natural burial grounds. Some are full woodlands with no visible grave markers. Others allow simple wooden plaques or natural stones. Many have strict rules about what coffins or clothes can be used.

Before choosing natural burial, it's worth thinking about:

Location : most natural burial grounds are outside cities, so you may need to travel to visit them.
Grave marking : you might not be able to mark the grave in a traditional way.
Future visits : some people like the idea of being 'returned to nature'. Others find the idea of an unmarked or wild grave unsettling.

Natural burial can be kept very simple or form part of a full funeral service. Some people combine it with a direct burial (more on that below) or hold a memorial at a later date.

Direct cremation and direct burial

If you're looking for a simpler or lower-cost option, direct cremation or direct burial might be worth thinking about.

Direct cremation means the person who died is cremated without a funeral service. There's no ceremony, and nobody can go to the crematorium. However, you can hold a memorial or celebration of life later if you want to.
Direct burial works similarly. The burial takes place quietly without a service. Again, you can choose to hold a separate event at another time.

These options are not only more affordable. Some would also argue that they also give people more freedom. You're not tied to one day or place, and you can say goodbye in your own way, on your own time.

Some people find these options too quiet or impersonal. Others appreciate the simplicity and the chance to plan something that feels more 'them'.

Other alternatives (less common in the UK)

Some other funeral options are gaining interest but are not yet widely available in the UK. You might hear about them online or in the news. Here's a quick overview.

Aquamation

Aquamation is a process where a person's body is gently broken down using water and an alkaline solution. It's sometimes known as 'water cremation' or 'resomation'.

Aquamation is generally considered a greener option than cremation because it uses less energy and doesn't release carbon emissions.

The process is legal in the UK. Some funeral providers already offer it.

Terramation

Terramation is also known as 'human composting'. It involves turning the body into soil through natural processes.

Some people see it as a way of returning a person to the earth without burial or cremation. Its proponents say it's environmentally friendly, too, with one website claiming it saves up to 1.2 tonnes of carbon compared to traditional funerals.

Terramation is legal in some parts of the US but not yet in the UK.

Burial at sea

Burial at sea is legal in the UK and has been around for a long time.

One reason it isn't more popular is that the process can get complicated. You'll need a marine license from the Marine Management Organisation. And there are only a few approved locations where it can happen:

Between Hastings and Newhaven
Off The Needles, Isle of Wight
Off Tynemouth, North Tyneside

The body must also be prepared in a specific way and placed in a special coffin.

People who choose burial at sea often do so for personal, cultural or religious reasons. It's not a common choice, but it is possible – and some funeral directors may be able to guide you through the steps.

If you like the idea of sea burial but don't want to go through the process, you might want to consider scattering the person's ashes at sea. You don't need a licence or permission to do this.

Which option is right for me?

That depends on many things, including your beliefs, your budget, your family and how you want to remember the person who died.

Here are a few questions that might help:

Do you want a ceremony – or something quieter?
Is religion or tradition important to you?
Would you like to avoid harming the environment?
How do you feel about cremation or about the idea of being buried?
Do you want a permanent place to visit, such as a grave or plaque?

There is no one-size-fits-all answer. It's OK to want something simple. It's OK to want something spiritual. And it's OK to want something different.

Akshardham Funeral Directors is a team of independent London funeral directors . If you're interested in natural burial, direct cremation or direct burial, we can help you plan a funeral that feels right for you. Please call on 020 8355 7876 – our lines are open 24/7/365.

Humanist funeral readings and poems

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Fri, 16 May 2025 06:58:08 GMT

Find thoughtful words to celebrate a life. Here are some non-religious funeral poems with a Humanist heart.

Planning a Humanist or non-religious funeral involves planning moments that reflect the life and values of the person who has died. Poetry and readings are perfect for expressing emotions that are difficult to put into words.

To inspire you, we've put together this selection of poems and readings that align with Humanist principles. They focus on the unique human experience and the celebration of life without mentioning religion or God.

1. "Requiem" by Robert Louis Stevenson

Under the wide and starry sky,
Dig the grave and let me lie.
Glad did I live and gladly die,
And I laid me down with a will.

This be the verse you grave for me:
Here he lies where he longed to be;
Home is the sailor, home from sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.

Robert Louis Stevenson's poem conveys a serene acceptance of death, reflecting a life well-lived. He wrote it 14 years before he died. It features on his gravestone.

Its straightforward language and peaceful imagery make it suitable for someone who embraced life and faced its end with tranquillity.

2. "Song (When I am dead, my dearest)" by Christina Rossetti

When I am dead, my dearest,
Sing no sad songs for me;
Plant thou no roses at my head,
Nor shady cypress tree:
With showers and dewdrops wet;
And if thou wilt, remember,
And if thou wilt, forget.

Victorian poet Christina Rossetti asks her loved ones not to dwell in grief or mourn her excessively. She wants them to carry on living life fully and to be free of the burden of constant remembrance.

It's a good choice for people who have expressed similar sentiments, such as wanting their loved ones to enjoy life even after their passing.

Read the full poem.

3. "Finis" by Walter Savage Landor

I STROVE with none, for none was worth my strife.
Nature I loved and, next to Nature, Art:
I warm'd both hands before the fire of life;
It sinks, and I am ready to depa rt.

Walter Savage Landor's poem reflects on his solitary life and how much he's enjoyed it through his love of art and nature. There is no bitterness or regret – he has pursued his passions and expressed himself creatively. Because of that, he is fulfilled and not afraid of death.

This poem would suit a fellow introvert, artist or lover of nature who lived a life they loved.

Read the full poem.

4. "On His Own Death" by Walter Savage Landor

Death stands above me, whispering low
I know not what into my ear:
Of his strange language all I know
Is, there is not a word of fear.

Another comforting work of Landor's, this poem describes a meeting with death, describing it as mysterious but not at all scary. It would be a fitting reading for someone who had come to terms with dying and would also perhaps provide comfort for those who knew them.

Read the full poem.

5. "Thanatopsis" by William Cullen Bryant

So live, that when thy summons comes to join
The innumerable caravan…
Thou go not, like the quarry-slave at night,
Scourged to his dungeon, but, sustained and soothed
By an unfaltering trust, approach thy grave,
Like one who wraps the drapery of his couch
About him, and lies down to pleasant dreams.

William Cullen Bryant encourages living a meaningful and fulfilling life that allows you to peacefully accept death when it comes around. This poem would be ideal to celebrate someone who lived life to the fullest before they were laid to rest.

Read the full poem.

6. "Turn Again To Life" by Mary Lee Hall

If I should die and leave you here a while,
Be not like others sore undone,
Who keep long vigil by the silent dust.

For my sake turn again to life and smile,
Nerving thy heart and trembling hand to do
Something to comfort other hearts than
Thine.

Mary Lee Hall wrote this poem from the perspective of someone approaching the end of their life. The narrator asks their loved ones to avoid getting stuck in grief. Instead, they are encouraged to enjoy life and not let all their love go to waste. They should, she says, comfort others with it instead.

This would make a fitting reading for a kind and empathetic person who has died. Someone, perhaps, who you know would want you to carry on living a life you love and wouldn't want their death to hold you back.

Read the full poem.

7. "Let Me Go" by Christina Rossetti

When I come to the end of the road
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room
Why cry for a soul set free?...

When you are lonely and sick at heart
Go to the friends we know.
Laugh at all the things we used to do
Miss me, but let me go.

Another timeless poem from Christina Rossetti, "Let Me Go" serves as a poignant reminder to grieve – but not let it overwhelm you. Your loved ones want you to remember them and the love you shared but also carry on living.

This would be perfect for a partner, family member or friend who you shared good times with.

Read the full poem.

Akshardham Funeral Directors is an independent funeral home based in Greater London. Are you organising a funeral? Visit our blog for more funeral advice and ideas.

What does a funeral home do?

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Mon, 12 May 2025 07:29:02 GMT

Funeral homes help with all sorts of things, from paperwork to quiet support. Learn more about what they do.

When a person dies, there are often lots of decisions to make. For many people, this can feel confusing and overwhelming when they're already grieving. A funeral home helps by taking on some of that responsibility.

A good funeral director doesn't just arrange practical things. They're there to help you make choices that feel right and guide you through the process step by step.

In this guide, we explain exactly what funeral homes do and how they can help you during a difficult time.

They guide you through the funeral process

Funeral homes help families plan funerals that reflect the life, values and wishes of the person who has died. This could be a traditional religious ceremony or something more personal.

You don't need to know exactly what you want when you walk in. A good funeral director will talk things through with you and help you explore your options. That might include decisions about burial or cremation or where the service will take place. You can also discuss transport and ceremony music – or whether to have a ceremony at all .

There's no right or wrong way to hold a funeral. The funeral director's role is to help you find the way that feels most meaningful for you and your family.

They take care of the person who died

Once the death has been confirmed and the right people notified, the funeral home arranges to bring the person who died into their care. This may be from a hospital, care home or private residence.

Once the person's body is in their care, they will look after them with dignity and respect. Depending on your wishes, this might include washing and dressing them. If you'd like to spend time with the person before the funeral – sometimes called a 'viewing' or a 'time of reflection' – the funeral director can help make this possible.

It's worth knowing that you don't have to view the person if you don't want to. Some people find it comforting, while others prefer to remember them as they were. It's a personal choice.

They handle the practicalities and paperwork

There are a number of legal and administrative steps that need to happen after a death. Many of them have to be done in a certain order. Funeral directors can help guide you through this or take care of it on your behalf.

They can register the death with the relevant local authority (if this hasn't already been done). You can also get help ordering the death certificates and liaising with venues, officiants, doctors and coroners where necessary.

They'll also confirm the details of the funeral and book the venue, making sure everyone involved knows what's happening and when.

This behind-the-scenes work often goes unnoticed, but it all helps make the funeral run smoothly.

They make sure things go to plan on the day

On the day of the funeral, the funeral director and their team are there to make sure everything runs like clockwork. They'll coordinate the transport and support the family and guests. They also keep in contact with the venue and any officiants or celebrants involved.

You can choose to have them walk in front of the hearse for part of the journey as a mark of respect. They can also help carry the coffin and direct people to their seats. They'll be on hand to step in to handle anything unexpected, too.

The idea is to keep things calm and respectful so you and your family can focus on remembering the person who has died.

They support you with care and compassion

A funeral director isn't just there to organise things – their role also involves a great deal of care.

When a person dies, it can stir up a whirlwind of emotions. You might feel numb, exhausted, anxious or even guilty about small decisions. That's completely normal.

A good funeral director will listen to and answer your questions, never rushing you into anything. They can suggest ways to make the funeral more personal and help you think through choices you hadn't considered.

Even if you just need somebody to talk to, a good funeral home will hold space for you. Some can also connect you with grief support services, bereavement counsellors or local community groups if you'd like more support after the funeral.

Other questions people ask about funeral homes

Here are some of the most common questions we're asked about funeral homes and how they work. We hope our answers help make things clearer for you.

Do I have to use a funeral director?

Strictly speaking, no. But most people choose to, as there are a lot of practical and legal steps involved. A funeral director takes that weight off your shoulders and makes sure everything runs smoothly.

Are funeral homes religious?

Some are, but most (including Akshardham Funeral Directors) support people of all faiths as well as non-religious people. They'll help you plan a funeral that's meaningful to you, whether that includes religious elements or not.

Can I visit the person who died at the funeral home?

Yes, if you wish. This is usually arranged by appointment and can be a chance for private reflection. But again, there's no obligation. It's entirely your choice.

Marking the moment how you see fit

A funeral home doesn't take over. It supports you. The best funeral directors are there to listen, to guide and to help you create a farewell that feels honest and respectful. Some people want a big ceremony. Others want something quiet. Either way, it helps to have someone by your side who understands how to make it happen.

Akshardham Funeral Directors provides funeral home services to families throughout Greater London. Our job is to help people from all backgrounds and beliefs plan funerals that feel right for them. If you're not sure where to start, that's okay. Contact us and we'll talk you through your options at your pace.

Taking ashes abroad to scatter: what you need to know

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Fri, 09 May 2025 07:43:20 GMT

Planning to scatter ashes abroad? Learn what documents you need, plus travel tips and other options.

Some people want their ashes scattered somewhere special – a beach they loved, a favourite holiday spot or their home country. However, if you're planning to take ashes abroad, there are a few important things to know before you set off.

It's generally legal to take ashes overseas, but the process involves a bit of preparation. Different countries and airlines have different rules, so it's worth planning ahead to avoid any last-minute stress.

Do you need permission?

You don't need permission from the UK government to travel with ashes. However, many countries expect you to have certain documents on arrival.

Some countries may also have rules about where ashes can be scattered. In some places, it's allowed almost anywhere. In others, there may be restrictions on public or natural spaces.

It's best to contact the embassy or consulate of the country you're travelling to. They can explain local laws and customs and let you know about permits you may need. If you're unsure where to start, a travel agent or airline may be able to point you in the right direction.

It's also a good idea to notify your airline that you're travelling with ashes to avoid any holdups.

What documents do you need?

When travelling with ashes, you'll need some documents to carry with you. Most authorities will want to see a copy of the death certificate and the cremation certificate. These prove the ashes have come from a registered crematorium and that they're being transported for personal reasons.

Some countries or airlines may also ask for a document confirming that the ashes are safe to travel with. While not legally required, having a certificate for taking ashes abroad can help avoid delays at customs or airport security.

At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we offer this certificate as an optional extra. It's something many families find useful, especially when travelling to countries with strict border controls. Learn more on our pricing page .

It's important to keep these documents in your hand luggage, not checked baggage. If airport staff need to inspect them, you'll want them to be easy to access.

Travelling with ashes: how to prepare

Airlines usually allow you to carry ashes in your hand luggage. However, there are often rules about the type of container. Most require it to be made from a non-metallic, X-ray-friendly material so it can pass through the airport scanner. It should also be properly sealed to prevent accidental spills during the journey.

If you're not sure what kind of container to use, your funeral director may be able to help you choose one that's suitable for travel. Some families use a temporary container for the flight and transfer the ashes into a display urn or keepsake once they arrive.

It's also a good idea to label the container discreetly – just in case your luggage is checked or delayed. A simple tag with your contact details and a note that the container holds cremated remains can be helpful.

Policies vary between airlines, so it's always worth calling your airline before you travel. Ask what they require, whether they need advance notice and what their security process looks like.

Scattering ashes once you arrive

When you arrive, you may have a clear plan or want to take time to decide what feels right. Some people travel with family or friends and hold a small ceremony together. Others scatter the ashes quietly and privately without a set plan.

Whatever you choose, there are a few things to think about. It's important to be respectful of the location and the people around you. Some families choose quiet areas in nature, away from crowds. You may want to say a few words, play music, or simply take a moment of silence.

If you're near the sea or a river, be aware that scattering ashes into water is not allowed in all countries. Even if it is permitted, there may be rules about distance from shorelines or local wildlife.

You may also decide to keep a small amount of the ashes, either to scatter later or to place in a keepsake. This is especially helpful if different family members want to mark the occasion in their own way.

Other options if you're not travelling

If taking ashes abroad feels too complicated or emotional, there are many thoughtful ways you can do it here in the UK.

Some families choose to scatter ashes in a local natural setting, such as a woodland, riverbank or a dedicated remembrance garden. Others bury the ashes in a cemetery or at home (with permission from the landowner). You can also place ashes in a columbarium (also known as a 'cinerarium'), which is a special structure with niches for urns.

Some people keep the ashes at home in a decorative urn, a simple container, a keepsake box or a piece of jewellery. If you'd like to share ashes between family members, that's also possible.

There's no single way to honour someone's ashes – and no need to rush your decision. You can take your time to choose what feels meaningful.

If you're thinking about travelling with ashes – or exploring your options closer to home – it can help to talk things through. At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we're here to help you choose the best option for you. If you need some support, please feel free to contact our knowledgeable team .

For more helpful advice, read our funeral planning guides .

Who can conduct a funeral?

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Mon, 05 May 2025 06:33:50 GMT

Anyone can conduct a funeral, from faith leaders to friends. Learn about your options and how it works.

There are many choices to make when planning a funeral. Deciding who will lead the service is one of the most important. People who lead a funeral service are usually called 'officiants' or 'celebrants'.

Some people want a formal funeral service with religious prayers. Others may prefer something more personal or simple. However you want to say goodbye, the person leading the funeral can help set the tone.

The good news is there are no hard and fast rules about who can conduct a funeral. That means you can choose anyone you feel comfortable with, from faith leaders and non-religious celebrants to family and friends.

You can even lead the service yourself if you're happy speaking in front of a crowd. But keep in mind that this role requires a lot of planning and can be emotionally draining for some.

Let's look at your options.

Faith leaders

If the person who died was religious, it's common to ask a faith leader to conduct the funeral. This could be an imam, a granthi, a priest or someone else from your faith community.

Religious leaders are usually very experienced in leading funerals, which could help put your mind at ease. They can include prayers, chants or rituals that are important to your family. Some faiths have set traditions to follow, while others are more flexible.

Even if the person who died wasn't very religious, you may still want a ceremony that reflects your family's beliefs. Many faith leaders are happy to help with that. Some will also offer support before and after the funeral, whereas many other officiants won't.

When planning a religious funeral, it's often best to speak to your faith leader early on. They can help explain what's possible and work with your funeral director to make arrangements.

Civil celebrants

Not everyone wants a purely religious ceremony. Some people prefer an approach led by their unique spiritual beliefs. Others want to focus on memories rather than faith. If that sounds like you, a civil celebrant could be a good option.

Civil celebrants are professional officiants who lead funerals based on your wishes. They aren't tied to any religion but can include religious elements if you wish. For instance, they might read a prayer or play a hymn that meant something special to the person who has died.

However, it's important to remember that they don't have the same religious authority as faith leaders to perform certain religious rites. For example, they can't conduct the Muslim funeral prayer or Christian Eucharist.

Celebrants usually meet with you before the funeral to ask questions about the person who has died. That's so they can get a feel for what the person was like.

They'll also want to know how you'd like the service to feel. You can ask them to include music, readings, photos and even jokes – whatever feels right for you.

Because civil celebrants offer so much flexibility, they're popular with mixed-faith and non-religious families, as well as those who want something a bit different.

Humanist celebrants

If you'd prefer a funeral with no religious content at all, a Humanist celebrant might suit you best.

Humanist celebrants lead completely non-religious funerals. They follow Humanism – a philosophy rooted in Darwin's theory of evolution. Humanists believe we can be kind and ethical without religion.

Humanist celebrants focus on the life and character of the person who died rather than beliefs about what happens after death.

These services often feel more like a celebration of life than a traditional funeral. They usually include personal stories or the favourite music and poems of the person who has died.

Friends or family members

Want more of a personal touch? You don't need special qualifications to conduct a funeral. If you want to, you can lead the ceremony yourself or ask a friend or family member to do it.

This is sometimes called a 'family-led funeral'. This kind of funeral can feel very intimate and heartfelt, especially if the person leading the funeral knew the deceased well and is happy to share fond memories.

You can keep things simple or plan something more structured, with the option to include music and readings. You can also hold the funeral wherever feels right: at a crematorium chapel, in a garden, at home or at almost any other meaningful place.

Leading a funeral yourself can be a powerful experience, but it's not always easy – especially if you're grieving. It also requires a lot of planning. If you're unsure, you can always ask for support or advice. Your funeral director can help guide you, or you could work alongside a celebrant or faith leader.

Things to think about if you're leading a funeral yourself

If you're planning a family-led funeral, here are some things to keep in mind:

Venue: some venues, like places of worship, may have rules about who can lead the service. If you're using a crematorium or public space, speak to the manager in advance to make sure everything is OK.
Timing: most venues have time slots, so it's important to plan the order of the ceremony carefully. Make sure there's enough time for everything you want to include.
Music: UK funerals often involve music, especially at the beginning and end of the ceremony. With many modern funerals, however, you can include as much or as little as you like. Music can help convey emotion and set the tone. Did the person who has died have a favourite song you'd like to play?
Readings and poetry: another way to express meaning on the day is through spoken word. Consider reading a favourite poem of the person who died or perhaps a religious passage.
Who will speak: you can lead the whole ceremony or invite others to contribute. It helps to plan this in advance, so everyone knows when to speak and what to expect.
Support: if you get nervous or emotional on the day, remember that this is completely normal. Have someone there to support you – and don't feel you have to do everything alone.

Can I mix different traditions?

Yes. Many choose to include elements from more than one religion, culture or tradition. This is sometimes called a multi-faith or blended funeral.

For example, you might want Sikh prayers alongside personal tributes. Or you might include a moment of silence for reflection, followed by a traditional chant or poem.

If the person who died had connections to more than one culture or belief system, a multi-faith funeral can reflect that beautifully.

Your officiant – whether they're a celebrant or faith leader – can help you work out what's possible. In some cases, two or more people might share the role of leading the service.

There's no 'right' way

There's no single way to conduct a funeral – and no right or wrong way to say goodbye. What matters most is that the ceremony reflects the person who died and the people who cared about them.

If you're in London and you'd like to discuss funeral arrangements, please don't hesitate to contact us at Akshardham Funeral Directors. You'll also find lots of funeral ideas on our blog.

What is the average cost of a headstone?

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Fri, 02 May 2025 07:02:09 GMT

Headstones vary in price and style. Learn what to expect – and why there's no need to rush your decision.

Choosing a headstone can feel like one of the final pieces of arranging a funeral. It's a way to mark the grave and honour the person who has died. But it can also come with costs you might not have expected.

In this guide, we walk you through the pricing of different types of headstones. We also show how you can manage the costs while still creating something meaningful.

What do headstones usually cost?

According to SunLife's Cost of Dying 2025 Report , the average cost of a memorial – such as a headstone – is £1,038 in the UK. It's the most expensive optional extra cost you'll encounter for a typical funeral.

In 2025, headstone and memorial prices in the UK continue to vary significantly based on factors like material, size, design and complexity.

To give you an idea of what you might pay, here are some typical price ranges:

Memorial plaques start at around £800
Cremation headstones and small upright memorials start at around £2,000
Standard upright headstones cost between £1,000 and £3,000
Kerbed memorials (full-length grave covers) start at around £4,500

It's also worth checking whether the cemetery you have chosen has any specific rules for memorials. Some only accept certain sizes or styles, which might affect both your chosen design and your budget.

What makes one headstone more expensive than another?

Material is a big factor.

Granite is popular because it lasts well and looks smart. However, it usually costs more than softer stones like sandstone or limestone. Some people prefer marble for its smooth finish, though it can be more prone to weather damage over time.

The size of the stone and how much detail you want to include also affect the cost. A simple plaque inscribed with a name and dates will be cheaper than a tall, carved headstone with a long inscription and custom artwork.

You'll also need to pay for the stone to be installed. This includes fixing it securely to the ground and may also involve cemetery fees or local permits. In many cases, the memorial company can handle this for you. However, it's always a good idea to ask what's included in the quote.

Can I save money on a headstone?

Luckily, there are ways to keep costs lower, especially if you're open to simpler designs. Choosing a smaller stone or using more affordable materials can all help reduce the price. You can also keep inscriptions short to save some money.

It's a good idea to speak to a few local memorial companies before you decide. Prices vary, and some may be able to offer payment plans or lower-cost packages.

If cost is a concern, your funeral director may also be able to recommend a local stonemason who can offer a fair price. And if you're not sure what you want, it's completely fine to start with a chat and ask questions before deciding.

Do I have to choose a headstone straight away?

No. In fact, many people choose to wait.

And there's no real rush to decide. Most cemeteries ask you to wait at least six months after a burial before installing a headstone. This allows the ground to settle.

Waiting can also give you time to think about what you want. Some people start with a temporary marker – like a wooden cross or plaque – and decide on a permanent headstone later.

Taking your time also gives you the chance to save up or look at different options without pressure. A headstone is something that lasts a long time, so it's really not worth rushing.

What can you include on a headstone?

Most headstones include the person's name, date of birth and date of death – but there's room to add more if you want to.

Some families choose a short message, a line of poetry or a verse from a religious text. Others include symbols or images that reflect the person's identity or beliefs.

There are some limits, though. Cemeteries often have rules about wording, especially in shared or council-run spaces. Inscriptions must usually be respectful, and some locations may not allow certain types of decoration, such as photos or personal items fixed to the stone.

It's worth checking with the cemetery or memorial provider about what's allowed before you settle on your wording. Most stonemasons will be happy to help you choose something meaningful that fits within the space – and the guidelines.

There's no pressure to be poetic or perfect. Some of the most moving messages are the simplest. Even a single word – like 'beloved' or 'remembered' – can say a great deal.

Are there any religious or cultural considerations?

Yes. It's worth being aware that some faiths have specific traditions around headstones or don't use them at all.

Islam

Islamic graves often feature simple markers with minimal decoration, adhering to Islamic principles of modesty and humility. These markers typically include inscriptions in Arabic, such as verses from the Quran, and avoid elaborate designs or imagery.

Judaism

In Jewish tradition, it is customary to place the headstone several months after burial during a ceremony known as the 'unveiling'. This ceremony usually occurs within the first year of mourning, often after the 30-day period called shloshim . It includes prayers, the removal of a cloth covering the headstone and the recitation of the Mourner's Kaddish.

Hinduism

In Hindu tradition, cremation is most common – and many families choose to immerse the ashes in bodies of water. This means headstones are usually not required.

What to do if you're not sure

If you're unsure what's expected or what would be most appropriate, you might want to speak with a faith or community leader. There's no harm in asking – and people are usually happy to help you understand what's considered respectful or traditional.

Take your time, and do what feels right

There's no right or wrong way to do things when it comes to headstones. Some people know exactly what they want. Others need time – and that's OK.

If you're feeling unsure, remember that you don't have to make any decisions on your own. A local memorial company can help you explore ideas. If you're using a funeral director, they may also be able to point you in the right direction.

AFD is a team of independent funeral directors based in London. We don't sell headstones, but we can help you understand your options and connect you with local professionals if needed. Please don't hesitate to contact us if you need our support.

Tips for speaking at a funeral

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Mon, 28 Apr 2025 08:10:29 GMT

Are you getting ready to speak at a funeral or memorial? Here are some tips to make your speech a success.

Being asked to speak at a funeral is an honour. But for that very reason, it can make people stressed or anxious. It's not uncommon for people to feel unsure about what to say and how to say it.

At Akshardham Funeral Directors, we believe there's no right way or wrong way to grieve. By extension, we believe there's no right or wrong way to speak at a funeral.

Nevertheless, many people look for guidance when getting ready to speak at a funeral. At a time of high emotion, guidance can help put things in perspective and give you a helping hand.

That's why we've put together this list of tips for speaking at a funeral. We hope it helps you approach the task with confidence and calm.

What should I include in a eulogy?

When speaking at a funeral, your job is to commemorate the person who died. That could mean sharing memories of your relationship with them, sharing memories that family and friends have shared with you, or some combination of the two.

It could also involve reflections on the kind of person they were. What was their personality? How did people perceive them?

Next, you could include milestones from the person's life. These can relate to their personal life (relationships, children, friendships), professional life (promotions, career changes, and so on) or hobbies, passions and social life.

Some speakers choose to involve others when preparing their speeches. They ask friends and families for memories to share. How much you do this is up to you. It can, however, be a good way of conveying the different sides and dimensions of a person's life.

Should I read from a script?

At funerals, some people choose to read from a script and some read from notes. If you're unsure which path to take, it can be a good idea to practise one or both methods. You can do this rehearsal on your own or in front of a friend or relative.

It may be that you can remember everything you want to say with notes alone. Or you may feel more confident having a detailed script to fall back on. The deciding factor should be how the speech comes across and how confident you feel.

Whether you read from notes or a script, it can be a good idea to leave instructions for yourself. If you're worried about rushing, for instance, you could leave a note reminding yourself to take your time.

When writing the speech, remember that nothing is set in stone. You can always rewrite your speech until it feels right.

These are some tips about what to say at a funeral – so what about how to say it? Here are five suggestions.

How to speak at a funeral

1. Introduce yourself

It may be that many or even most people at the funeral will know who you are. Nevertheless, it can be a good idea to introduce yourself and your relationship with the person who died. This provides context for the speech, which can make it more powerful.

2. Take your time

This is perhaps the most important tip on this list. When speaking in public, it's all too easy to rush through your speech. But speeches are always more affecting and effective when delivered slowly and clearly.

If you're new to public speaking – or even just new to speaking at a funeral – this can be easier said than done. This is one reason why practice can be so helpful.

You can practise alone in front of a mirror or in front of someone you trust and whose opinion you respect. Practise speaking slowly and clearly, taking regular pauses and enunciating each word.

3. Prepare to be emotional

When preparing to speak at a funeral, you may worry that you'll become emotional during your speech.

There are a couple of things to mention here. The first is that tears are expected and even appreciated at many kinds of funerals. If you do cry during your speech, it's unlikely that anyone will think less of you.

Secondly, there are things you can do to retake control if you cry during a speech. You can take a deep breath, take a sip of water or focus on a pre-chosen spot in the room.

4. Focus on the message, not yourself

When speaking in public, it's easy to think it's all about you. And in a way, it is – after all, you're the one up there with all eyes on you.

Nevertheless, it's important to remember that you're up there to draw attention to the person who has died, not to yourself.

This doesn't mean omitting mention of your relationship with the person – far from it. It just means putting the message first and communicating clearly.

5. Look at the audience

If you're not used to speaking in public, you might find yourself staring at your notes, your feet or, indeed, anywhere but at the audience.

Nevertheless, people often feel more engaged when the speaker looks in their direction. That doesn't mean you must make full eye contact (although you can if you want to). It just means directing the speech at the audience above all else.

How to decline an invitation to speak at a funeral

Speaking at a funeral is a big deal, and you may not feel you are up to it. In this situation, you might feel uncomfortable about declining or unsure what tone to take.

In our view, your best bet is to acknowledge the sadness of the occasion and thank the person for the invitation. You should then decline briefly and politely without an elaborate explanation. Like all aspects of funerals, however, it's up to you how you approach the task.

Akshardham Funeral Directors is a team of independent funeral directors in Barnet , London. For more advice about funerals, visit our blog or read our funeral planning guides .

10 inspiring and emotional funeral songs from musicals

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Fri, 25 Apr 2025 07:08:42 GMT

Choosing music for a funeral can be difficult. Explore 10 funeral songs from musicals that could work for you.

Music plays an important part in funerals in many cultures, faiths and countries. It can be a way of setting the tone and reflecting the personality of the person who died.

Sometimes, a person will request music for their own funeral. But often, it falls to loved ones to make the choice. This can be a difficult decision to make at a time when emotions are running high and there are lots of tasks to complete.

That's why we've put together this list of 10 funeral songs from musicals. They span the decades in a variety of moods and styles. We hope it helps you make a decision that suits you, the people in attendance and the memory of the person who has died.

1. "Remember Me" from Coco (2017)

Written by American composer Michael Giacchino, this guitar-led lullaby from Disney's Coco is a sweet and gentle choice for a funeral.

The lyrics comfort and reassure – "Remember me / Though I have to say goodbye / Remember me / Don't let it make you cry" – while the brief duet at the end is sure to tug at the heartstrings.

2. "Circle of Life" from The Lion King (1994)

Written by Elton John, Hans Zimmer and Tim Rice, this classic number from Disney's 1994 The Lion King is about the circle of life that "moves us all / Through despair and hope / Through faith and love".

With its memorable Zulu opening and soaring chorus, it's a song that's won many awards and been played at many funerals and memorial services.

3. "Let It Go" from Frozen (2013)

Funerals are usually a time for mourning – but sometimes, they're about celebration, too. A song like "Let It Go" from the Disney film Frozen could be the right choice for someone who lived life to the full.

It's a song about taking charge of your life and freeing yourself from other people's expectations: "Let it go, let it go / Turn away and slam the door / I don't care what they're going to say".

4. "Memory" from Cats (1981)

Based on a poem by T.S. Eliot and written by Andrew Lloyd Webber and Trevor Nunn, "Memory" is the climax of the musical Cats – and one of the most famous songs from a musical ever written.

It's also suitable for a funeral with its mixture of nostalgia ("I can smile at the old days") and hope for the future ("I must think of a new life / And I mustn't give in").

5. "Somewhere" from West Side Story (1957)

A song of hope, "Somewhere", from West Side Story, has an unforgettable, yearning melody that makes it a suitable choice for a funeral.

There are several recordings available. That includes the recording from the original stage musical, two film versions and many cover versions. You can explore the different versions on YouTube, Spotify or another music streaming service.

6. "Think of Me" from Phantom of the Opera (1986)

"Think of Me" is a song about parting in life – but it works just as well as a song about parting in death: "Flowers fade, the fruits of summer fade / They have their season so do we / But please promise me that sometimes / You will think of me".

Sung by the character of Christine in Andrew Lloyd Webber's The Phantom of the Opera , this song is available in many versions by many different singers.

7. "Let's Go Fly a Kite" from Mary Poppins (1964)

This gentle, lilting waltz from Disney's Mary Poppins is a celebration of the simple things. At the end of the film, Mr Banks realises that his family is more important than his job, mends his son's kite and takes his family out to fly it.

With its nostalgic tone and memorable melody, "Let's Go Fly a Kite" is both uplifting and sad – a combination many people look for in a song for a funeral.

8. "No One is Alone" from Into the Woods (1986)

With its mellow, string-led arrangement and reflective melody, "No One Is Alone" is a song of comfort.

It's taken from Stephen Sondheim's Into the Woods , a musical that combines the stories of several Brothers Grimm fairytales. In this particular song, Cinderella and the Baker comfort Little Red Riding Hood.

Described by a writer for The New York Times as "beautiful" and "cathartic", it's a moving choice for a funeral, emphasising togetherness at a time of grief.

9. "You'll Never Walk Alone" from Carousel (1945)

In Rodgers and Hammerstein's musical Carousel , Nettie comforts her cousin Julia after her husband dies with a message of optimism and connection: "Walk on, walk / With hope in your heart / And you'll never walk alone".

The song has lived on since its first appearance in 1945. It's been sung by many football clubs, most famously Liverpool FC, and became an anthem of support for key workers during the COVID-19 pandemic in parts of the UK and Europe.

There are many versions available, from the original musical recording to a hit single version by the Merseybeat group Gerry and the Pacemakers.

10. "Tell Me It's Not True" from Blood Brothers (1983)

Many funeral songs emphasise acceptance – but this song from Willy Russell's musical Blood Brothers is a song of disbelief: "Tell me it's not true / Say it's just a story / Something on the news".

It comes from a musical about twin brothers who grow up in different parts of society and then fall for the same girl. But its message is universal and strikes a chord with many people at funerals.

Choosing a song for the funeral of a loved one is a big decision. We hope this list helps you pick the right song for you and the person who has died.

For more advice about funeral planning, see our guides on what to do when a person dies .

How to be a pallbearer at a funeral

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Mon, 21 Apr 2025 07:49:49 GMT

What are the roles and responsibilities of pallbearers at British funerals? Get the answers in our guide.

A pallbearer is one of the people tasked with carrying the coffin during the funeral.

Getting asked to be a pallbearer is often considered to be an honour. It shows you were important to the person who died.

With this honour can come a sense of responsibility. Sometimes, people feel unsure how to act and what to do in their role as pallbearers.

In this article, we look at some of the common questions surrounding the role of pallbearers at funerals in the UK.

What do pallbearers do?

A pallbearer's main task is to carry the coffin from the hearse to its place of rest, be that a grave or a cremation service. They either carry the casket on their shoulders or alongside a wheeled bier (a frame for the coffin).

There are usually four to six pallbearers, depending on the size of the coffin. Sometimes, honorary pallbearers walk alongside the procession but don't help carry the coffin.

More often than not, pallbearers are chosen from the close family, friends and colleagues of the person who died. In traditional UK funerals, pallbearers were exclusively male, but today, there are fewer gender restrictions. The main consideration is whether the pallbearer is up to the physical challenge of helping to carry the coffin.

The pallbearers will often have to arrive early at the funeral home. There, they receive instructions from the funeral director. These will vary from place to place but will include instructions on how to carry the casket, where to walk and where they should stand in relation to one another.

In almost all cases, pallbearers are expected to walk slowly and steadily in respectful silence. If the person who died or their family has other expectations, these should be communicated to you before you carry the coffin.

If you're a pallbearer and are unsure of your role, make sure to ask the funeral director. This will help make the transport of the coffin run smoothly and reduce your own stress or anxiety.

Pallbearers often travel in a car or limousine behind the hearse on its way to the cemetery or crematorium.

What should you wear?

Traditionally, pallbearers wear smart, sombre clothes. If you're unsure about what to wear, make sure you ask the family, funeral director or religious leader for guidance.

Can a pallbearer wear sunglasses?

Some people like to wear sunglasses to a funeral. This is sometimes to protect their eyes against the sun and sometimes to conceal their emotions.

There are no hard and fast rules about what to wear and what not to wear at funerals. It depends on the person who died, the family's wishes and the guidance of the funeral director, religious leader or other professional. If in doubt, ask.

Can a pallbearer wear jeans?

The same applies to the question of whether a pallbearer can wear jeans. Most of the time, jeans are considered too informal for a funeral. Sometimes, however, informal attire is requested by the person who died or their family.

Can a pallbearer wear a military uniform?

This depends on the wishes of the family and any wishes expressed by the person who died. If you're unsure whether wearing a military uniform would be appropriate, check with the people most closely involved in arranging the funeral.

Who can be a pallbearer?

Anyone can be asked to be a pallbearer. Some communities and faiths, however, are specific about who can take on the role. In Hindu ceremonies, for instance, the coffin is usually accompanied by the eldest male in the family.

Where does the word 'pallbearer' come from?

Pallbearers have been around for centuries in cultures across the world. The English word itself, however, was first recorded in 1707.

It comes from the word 'pall', meaning 'a cloth spread over a coffin'. Originally, a pallbearer would hold or 'bear' the corners of the pall. Over time, the role changed, and pallbearers carried the coffin itself – not just the pall.

Is a coffin the same as a casket?

When reading about funerals, pallbearers and related topics, you will come across the words 'coffin' and 'casket'. Both are used to transport the person who died at a funeral ceremony. Is there any other difference?

The answer lies in the shape of the two objects. Coffins taper towards the bottom, whereas caskets are rectangular.

Are pallbearers involved in open-casket funerals?

At an open-casket funeral, the person who died is on display in an open casket. Loved ones get to say goodbye 'in person' or face to face.

If you arrange an open-casket funeral, the funeral home is responsible for setting up the coffin. This means pallbearers aren't needed to transport the casket from the hearse to the venue.

Sometimes, however, pallbearers are asked to carry the casket from the funeral service to the burial plot once the casket has been sealed.

Are pallbearers present at memorial services?

The pallbearer's role is to help transport the coffin. The body of the person who died isn't present at most memorial services, meaning pallbearers aren't required.

How many pallbearers should there be?

Traditionally, six to eight people carry the coffin or casket. The exact number depends on the type of coffin or casket. Some have three handles on either side. Others have these plus a handle at either end.

Sometimes, the family will arrange for honorary pallbearers to walk alongside the coffin but not carry it. There can be any number of honorary pallbearers. They are often people who were close to the person who died but who are physically unable to lift the coffin.

Akshardham Funeral Directors is an independent funeral home based in London. Are you planning a funeral service for a loved one? Get step-by-step advice in our guide on how to arrange a funeral .

How direct cremation works

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Mon, 14 Apr 2025 07:58:02 GMT

Learn how direct cremation works and how this new option is different from a traditional funeral service.

There are many different ways to say goodbye when a person dies. For many, this involves a funeral service of some kind.

Increasingly, however, people in the UK are choosing direct cremation for their loved ones. This is where the person who has died gets taken directly to the crematorium to be cremated.

Unlike traditional funerals, direct cremations don't involve a service or ceremony. There are no mourners present, no funeral director, no hymns or readings and no hearse. The body isn't always embalmed, and there's no visitation (viewing of the body).

Many people choose direct cremation to save money. However, some also prefer the simplicity of a direct cremation over a traditional service.

Despite their increasing popularity, many doubts and misconceptions surround direct cremations. We hope this article helps you understand the topic in more detail.

How much does direct cremation cost?

On average, a direct cremation in the UK costs around £1,600 ( SunLife ). However, different funeral providers charge different amounts for their services – and the price can vary depending on where you live. Generally speaking, funeral costs in London – for instance – tend to be higher than in other parts of the UK.

That £1,600 covers the preparation and transportation of the body and the organisation of the cremation itself. Traditional funerals, by contrast, cost, on average, £4,000 to £5,000.

What happens after a direct cremation?

There are two sides to this question: first, what happens to the ashes after a direct cremation, and secondly, whether there's a service to follow.

In terms of ashes, this will depend on the wishes of the person who died and their family. Ashes can be given to the family or scattered in the garden of remembrance. Both options usually come at a price. If the family receives the ashes, they can decide whether to scatter them elsewhere, keep them or bury them.

It's also up to the family how the person's life will be celebrated and remembered after direct cremation. You have the option to arrange a memorial service separately. This will depend on your wishes and any wishes expressed by the person who has died.

What's the difference between cremation and direct cremation?

'Cremation' mostly refers to how the body is put to rest. But it also refers to the procedures and ceremonies surrounding it.

In a traditional cremation, the body of the person who died is taken into the care of funeral directors. It can be visited by family and friends. There's then a service of remembrance, usually at a crematorium, where loved ones gather to remember and celebrate the life of the person who died.

Direct cremation, by contrast, is a much simpler sequence of events. The body of the person who died is taken into the care of funeral directors. It's placed in a simple coffin and transported to the crematorium. There, it's cremated without a service and without attendees.

How do you arrange a direct cremation?

When arranging a direct cremation, the first thing to establish is how to pay for it. Options include a prepaid funeral plan, savings left aside by the deceased and money from the estate.

Once this is established, you need to book the cremation through a funeral director or direct cremation provider. At this point, you may want to discuss your options with regard to ashes.

In terms of arranging the direct cremation, that's pretty much all there is to it. Many people, however, go on to plan a memorial service or event. This tends to be based on their wishes and any wishes expressed by the person who died.

What isn't included in a direct cremation?

Direct cremations don't include many of the traditional features of funerals. Most importantly, there's no ceremony and (almost always) no attendees. There are no pallbearers and the body is usually transported to the crematorium in a private ambulance rather than a hearse.

What happens to the ashes after a direct cremation?

Once the body has been cremated, the ashes are placed in a container. Depending on what you've arranged with the funeral director or crematorium, this can be collected or delivered to you.

Ashes can be scattered in a place that has personal significance for the person who died. Sometimes, ashes are scattered in a place of natural beauty. They can also be buried.

Can I attend a direct cremation?

Most of the time, direct cremations are unattended. In fact, they're often referred to as 'unattended cremations'.

Sometimes, however, direct cremation providers will let a small number of people attend. This is called an 'attended direct cremation' and will be charged on top of the cremation itself.

What's meant by 'unattended direct cremation' is different from funeral director to funeral director. Most often, however, it means spending a few peaceful moments with the person who died in the funeral home's chapel of rest. In any case, there won't be any ceremony, readings or hymns.

Can you get cremated without a coffin?

Legally, yes. Some people are cremated in a shroud or cardboard box rather than a coffin. However, some crematoriums stipulate that a coffin must be used.

Why do people choose direct cremation?

There are several reasons why people choose direct cremation over a traditional funeral service. For some, the biggest reason is that direct cremations are significantly cheaper than most alternatives.

Cost, however, is far from the only factor. There's also the fact that direct cremation removes the formality of a service as well as the stress and upset of attending one.

Direct cremations are simple. At a time when emotions are running high, this simplicity is welcome to some. Once the direct cremation is booked, all you need to decide is what will happen to the ashes.

Finally, direct cremations are more flexible. The cremation happens when the funeral provider and crematorium decide. This removes a lot of stress from the planning process.

At the end of the day, there's no right or wrong way to grieve, mourn or remember. Direct cremations are a popular choice, but some people prefer traditional methods. It all depends on the wishes of the family and the wishes of the person who died.

Are you considering a direct cremation in London ? Since 2021, Akshardham Funeral Directors has helped families like yours arrange the funeral that feels right for them. Learn more about your funeral choices.

Grief support groups in London that can help you through your loss

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Fri, 11 Apr 2025 07:28:01 GMT

Are you looking for a grief support group? Explore some of your options in London and elsewhere.

When you're experiencing grief, it can often feel like you're alone with your feelings. Some people find that sharing their feelings with others can make a difference.

At Akshardham Funeral Directors (AFD), we firmly believe there's no right or wrong way to grieve. Grief is a personal journey and what helps one person may not help another. Even so, sharing with others can make a positive difference for many people.

There are different ways to do this. You can ring helplines, post on message boards or attend grief support groups. This article deals with the third option – specifically in London and then in the UK more broadly.

Before we go any further, it's important to say that the information we give about support groups and helplines is correct at the time of writing. Make sure you double-check online or by phone before attending a meeting or making a call.

What are grief support groups?

Grief support groups are spaces for people who are grieving to meet and share their experiences. This could be an in-person meet-up or online.

Some grief support groups focus on specific types of grief. There are groups for people who have lost a partner, for people who have lost a child and for people who have lost someone to suicide. There are also grief support groups for particular faiths and identities, such as LGBTQ+.

Grief support groups provide a safe space for people to share their feelings. People at the support group can be honest with each other, which can make them feel more connected. Attending a grief support group can also become part of your routine – and a fixed, dependable routine can be an important part of a grief journey.

Grief support groups in London

Like all groups, meet-ups and social activities, grief support groups in London come and go. There may be small or informal groups in your area that don't advertise online. You could find out about them by word of mouth or asking at your doctor's surgery or place of worship.

Here are three support groups that are active at the time of writing.

1. Cruse Bereavement Care

Cruse Bereavement Care is a national charity providing support, advice and information to people who are bereaved as well as free and confidential counselling services.

They also offer group support. These include group information sessions on "Understanding Your Bereavement" and peer-to-peer support groups such as walking groups.

Different branches offer different services. If you live in London, your best bet is to contact the charity directly. They have branches across the city that may offer group support.

Find your local Cruse Bereavement Care branch: https://www.cruse.org.uk/get-support/local-support-phone/
Find out more about Cruse Bereavement Care: https://www.cruse.org.uk/about/

2. Murdered Abroad

Some grief support groups focus on specific types of grief. One example of this is Murdered Abroad . In its own words, this is a "support group run by people with lived experience of murder and manslaughter abroad."

Learn more about Murdered Abroad: https://www.murdered-abroad.org.uk/about

3. The Loss Foundation

The UK has many support groups for people who have lost someone to cancer. One of these is The Loss Foundation . Among other services, they put on casual "walk and talks".

Find out about walk and talks: https://thelossfoundation.org/how-we-can-help/get-support/walkandtalks/
Find out more about The Loss Foundation: https://thelossfoundation.org/about/

Grief support groups and helplines in the UK

There are many grief support groups and bereavement helplines in the UK. This is by no means a complete list. If you don't find a suitable service here, you could try looking online, speaking to a doctor, asking friends or asking at your place of worship.

WAY (Widowed and Young)

This organisation offers a peer-to-peer support network for people who have lost a partner before their 51st birthday. This applies to men and women who were married, unmarried, with or without children, and regardless of sexual orientation, race, religion or gender.

Learn more about Widowed and Young: https://www.widowedandyoung.org.uk/

Sue Ryder

Sue Ryder is a bereavement support charity. It offers different kinds of bereavement support. It also runs charity shops.

Find out more about Sue Ryder: https://www.sueryder.org/
Find a local branch: https://www.sueryder.org/shop-with-us/find-a-shop/

Child Bereavement UK

This charity offers support to families who have lost a child. It offers free, confidential support by telephone, video and instant messenger. It also offers face-to-face support in some locations.

Learn more about Child Bereavement UK: https://www.childbereavementuk.org/

The Good Grief Trust

The Good Grief Trust is a national charity. It provides a map of websites, helplines and information providers.

See the Good Grief Trust map and find support: https://www.thegoodgrieftrust.org/find-support/

Marie Curie

Marie Curie is the UK's leading end-of-life charity. As well as providing care to people with terminal illnesses, it offers bereavement counselling to friends and family.

Learn about Marie Curie's bereavement counselling: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/information/grief/bereavement-counselling
Find out more about what they do: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/about-us/what-we-do

GriefChat

This is a live chat service with a bereavement counsellor. It's free to use and can be accessed between 9 am and 9 pm, Monday to Friday.

Learn more about GriefChat: https://griefchat.co.uk/

General advice

Grief resources are available on the NHS website . These offer suggestions for connecting with others and sharing your feelings as well as advice on improving sleep and overall mental well-being. You can also ask your GP for general advice regarding your bereavement.

See NHS resources on grief: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/feelings-symptoms-behaviours/feelings-and-symptoms/grief-bereavement-loss/

If you need to talk to someone immediately

If you feel you need to talk to someone immediately about your grief, you can call the Samaritans. This is a volunteer-run service helping people in distress. Crucially, they are trained to avoid judgment and won't tell you what to do. Instead, they offer a listening ear.

For the Samaritans' 24-hour helpline, call 116 123
Learn more about the Samaritans:

In an emergency, call 999 straight away

If you're grieving and think you might hurt yourself or someone else, call the emergency services straight away on 999 or your local emergency number.

How to find a missing will

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Thu, 10 Apr 2025 22:56:15 GMT

What if you know a person left a will, but you can't find it? See the steps you can take to locate a missing will.

When a person dies, there's lots to do. One of the most important tasks is finding the will – or seeing if they left one at all.

In some cases, however, it's not obvious where the will is. This could be because you weren't told where it was left, because it was moved, or because of a miscommunication.

Whatever the reason, it's an important document to locate. You need to find the signed and witnessed 'last will and testament' – not a draft, copy or earlier version.

Finding it can be a stressful and time-consuming task at a difficult time. That's why we've put together this list of steps you can take. We hope it helps.

1. Thoroughly search the person's home

Your first step is to look in the home of the person who has died. You might want to start looking in places where people tend to keep important documents: drawers, safes, folders and filing cabinets, for example.

There's no guarantee, however, that you'll find the will in an obvious place. It could be in the loft or garage or even placed between the pages of a book.

As you search, you should also keep an eye out for letters from solicitors, banks and financial advisors. These could give you a better idea of where the will has been left.

Some people store their wills in the safety deposit box at the bank. If you find a key you think could be for a safety deposit box, it's worth calling all the banks used by the person who died to see if the will is there.

If you can't find the will in the person's home, it's time to start contacting professionals who may have been connected with the will.

2. Contact professionals connected with the will

Most people instruct a solicitor for help with their wills. If you can't find a will, it can be worth contacting the solicitor who drafted it. They may have a copy or know the whereabouts of the original.

It's worth noting that only an executor of the will (the person entrusted with carrying out the instructions in the will) is entitled to a copy. If you're not named as executor on the will, the solicitor is unlikely to give you a copy.

Other professionals to try include banks used by the person who died, financial advisors, accountants, insurance agents and religious leaders.

You could also try the Society of Will Writers. This is a not-for-profit organisation comprised of will writers and estate planners. There's a chance they might have drafted the will you're looking for.

3. Talk to friends and family

It may be that the person who died told a friend or member of the family where they planned to leave their will.

It's also possible that friends witnessed the signing of the will. This could lead you to the solicitor who drafted it.

4. Look online

There are several online registers you can search if the above steps don't help.

First, there's the National Will Register. This is a voluntary register where people log the location of their will. For £65, you can carry out a Will Register Search to see if the will has been registered.

It's important to recognise the voluntary nature of the National Will Register. It's not compulsory, and there's no guarantee it will have information on the will you're looking for.

You can also get in touch with the Solicitors Regulation Authority. This is an organisation that monitors solicitors and their firms. They also store wills written by solicitors who are now retired or no longer trading.

Finally, you can apply for a 'standing search' with your local District Probate Registry. This costs £10 for a six-month search. If probate has been granted, the District Probate Registry will hold a record and will be able to send you a copy.

If the will hasn't been read during the six months, you can renew the search for another £10.

5. Advertise

Last but not least, you could try advertising in the local press or legal publications such as The Gazette. To maximise your chances of success, make sure to quote any former names of the person who has died.

What if the will is damaged or destroyed?

If you have strong evidence that the will existed and can demonstrate what it contained, it's possible to have the will honoured even if the original is damaged or destroyed.

To do this, you need to make an application to court. The court starts from the assumption (or 'legal presumption') that if a will can't be found, the person who died intended for it to be destroyed. You need strong evidence to persuade the court otherwise.

What if the will is lost?

If the will is lost, the estate of the person who died will likely be distributed according to the Rules of Intestacy. This is the order of priority for distributing the estate when no instructions from the person who died are available.

A brief glossary of terms

Wills are legal documents. For this reason, the language surrounding them can be technical. Here are some of the key terms.

A person's 'estate' refers to all the assets they own once any debts they owe are subtracted.

The 'executor' is the person who has to administer the estate. This will be specified in the will. In some cases, there will be more than one executor (up to four).

The 'testator' (male) or 'testatrix' (female) is the person who left the will.

Finally, the 'grant of probate' is the legal document the executor or executors need to administer the testator's estate.

Akshardham Funeral Directors (AFD) is a team of independent funeral directors based in Edgware, Greater London. For more advice about wills and estates, follow our blog .

Do you need permission to scatter ashes in the UK?

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Fri, 04 Apr 2025 19:59:50 GMT

Many in the UK choose to scatter their loved one's ashes. But do you need permission? Find out in our guide.

In the UK, many people choose to scatter the ashes of their loved ones. Often, they do this in a location that meant a lot to the person who died. Sometimes, it's requested by the person who died, and sometimes family and friends decide.

However, it's not always obvious where ashes can and can't be scattered and when permission is needed. We've put together this guide to help you understand your options.

The basic rule is that you generally don't need permission to scatter ashes on your own land or over a body of water. However, you do need permission to scatter ashes on land that's publicly or privately owned.

Places where you can scatter ashes without permission

You can scatter ashes without permission on your own land. This could be your back garden (if you own your home), private farmland or any other land that belongs to you.

You can also scatter ashes over bodies of water without permission – so long as you have permission to be on the land.

When scattering ashes on water, you should make sure you're not close to a marina or fishery (a place where fish are caught). You should also make sure you're a kilometre or more upstream from a reservoir or water plant.

Places where you need permission to scatter ashes

If you're not the landowner, you must obtain permission before scattering ashes. This is true whether you're planning to scatter ashes on a public park, beach or property belonging to anyone else.

Obtaining permission is usually quite simple. Most councils, park trusts and charities, such as the National Trust, will allow you to scatter ashes. Often, the only requirement is that you agree to follow Environment Agency guidelines.

Some cemeteries, crematoriums and natural burial grounds have designated areas for scattering ashes. This isn't, however, a given, so make sure you check with the site authorities before going ahead.

If you own a cemetery plot, you can often scatter ashes on the grave or graves. Not all cemeteries allow this, however, so be sure to check in advance.

If you want to scatter ashes in a private location such as a sports ground, you should first check with management. This is because each venue will have its own policies and procedures.

As a rule of thumb, it's worth checking with the landowner if you want to scatter ashes on their land. This will help avoid bad feelings on a special day.

Other environmental considerations

In many situations, it's best to scatter ashes on a calm day. This will prevent the ashes from being blown into other people's properties and land. This is less of a concern in large, open spaces.

You may want to mark the spot where you scattered the ashes with a tree, bush or flowers. It's worth keeping in mind that human ashes have a high alkaline content. This can damage the soil and hinder plant growth. You can help prevent this by adding soil or compost to the ashes.

Aerial scattering of ashes

A recent development in the funeral industry is scattering ashes by drone. This enables mourners to access memorable and unique locations that are otherwise out of bounds.

The same rules apply to the aerial scattering of ashes as to traditional methods. You need to seek permission from the landowner if you want to scatter ashes on land you don't own.

Under UK law , commercial drone pilots need to be accredited by the CAA (Civil Aviation Authority). There are also specific restrictions on where drones can be flown.

If this is an option you want to explore, it's advisable to go through a professional service provider. This will help you ensure that the ceremony is done in line with UK regulations.

Religious considerations

Different religions have different beliefs surrounding cremation and the scattering of ashes. This is by no means an exhaustive list, but it will hopefully give you an idea of the diversity of beliefs.

Jains, Hindus and Sikhs often scatter ashes over water – typically over a river or sea. This forms part of their funeral rites. Although these rites differ, these religions share the belief that the scattering of ashes symbolises the release of the soul.

These beliefs have led to the opening of specialised river sites for scattering ashes in the UK. These include a stretch of the River Soar in Leicester and Llandaff Rowing Club in Cardiff.

Muslims forbid cremation and the scattering of ashes. This prohibition is shared by Bahá'ís, Orthodox and Conservative Jews and Catholics. These faiths emphasise traditional burial practices. Reform Judaism, however, is more accepting of cremation.

General tips for scattering ashes

If you do decide to scatter the ashes of a loved one, you first of all need to be sure you have permission to do so. But there are some other things to keep in mind.

Some of it is common sense – scattering in a secluded place away from other people, for instance. Other tips reflect guidance laid out by the Environment Agency.

Many people use a special container to scatter ashes. This is sometimes known as a "scatter tube".

You should always be conscious of the environment. This means scattering ashes away from land where animals are grazing and areas of special conservation.

Where possible, you should avoid scattering ashes on busy days such as Bank Holidays. Whatever day you choose, you should find a quiet spot to scatter them.

You should also try to avoid windy days. If it's unexpectedly windy, you might want to find a more secluded spot.

If you scatter ashes from a cliff-top, make sure the coast is clear before scattering.

Finally, you should always seek permission from the landowner if you want to mark the place where you scattered ashes with a bench, plaque or plant.

AFD is a team of experienced funeral directors in North London . For more advice and inspiration, read our funeral planning guides .

How to buy a burial plot in the UK

simon@mydigitalhero.co.uk (Simon Edward) — Fri, 04 Apr 2025 14:43:19 GMT

Are you looking to buy a burial plot in the UK? Learn how the process works and what your options are.

When a person dies, there are different options for putting their body or cremated remains to rest. Ashes can be scattered or buried. Bodies can be interred in woodland burial sites. In the UK, however, the traditional option is for remains to be buried in the grounds of a cemetery, crematorium or churchyard.

A burial plot is the piece of land where the person is buried. Typically, plots are leased rather than purchased outright. The lease gives the owner the right to bury someone in the plot for a fixed period of time.

Buying a burial plot isn't for everyone. But for many people, it gives them peace of mind. They feel comfort knowing there's a spot put aside for them and their family. It's reassuring to know, too, that the plot can be bought and paid for in advance.

Some funeral directors can help you arrange to buy a burial plot. You can also buy one directly from the cemetery owner. This could be the local authority, a place of worship or a private company.

What are the different types of burial plots?

There are two main types of burial plots: those for bodies and those for cremated remains.

Both categories can cover different numbers of people.

Single plots are for individuals.
Companion plots are for couples.
Family plots are for several members of the same family.

Can you own a burial plot?

In the UK, burial plots aren't owned but leased. The plot itself is owned by the burial ground, place of worship or crematorium. You have 'exclusive right of burial' for a specific period. This is often between 50 and 100 years.

This document gives you the right to bury a person's body in that burial plot. During the lease period, no one else can be buried there.

When the lease is up, the cemetery owner will contact the next of kin. The lease can then be renewed for a fee. If it's not renewed or contact can't be made, a new grave can be dug in the burial plot.

Bodies are never removed to make room for a new burial. Plots may, however, be deepened for that purpose.

How much does it cost?

The cost of a burial plot in the UK varies dramatically. In the countryside, it could cost a few hundred pounds, whereas a burial plot in London could set you back £10,000 or more.

Another factor that can influence costs is whether the person who died lived in the area where you want them to be buried. At the time of writing, for instance, a burial plot in one of Westminster Council's cemeteries costs £2,600 for a Westminster resident. However, non-residents would pay £6,915. That's over 150% more expensive.

The overall costs cover a few different services:

Exclusive right of burial
Grave-digging
Interment (the burial itself)

If you want a headstone or another grave marker, you usually have to pay for this separately.

To fully understand your options, your best bet is to speak with your local funeral director.

What is a woodland burial plot?

A woodland burial plot – sometimes known as a 'natural' burial plot – is a burial plot in an area of land put aside for green burials.

Green burials put environmental sustainability first. This means the body isn't embalmed (hygienically treated) and the body or ashes are interred in biodegradable caskets and coffins.

Woodland burial plots can be less expensive than cemetery or crematorium plots, though this depends on location. They usually give you permanent ownership rather than an exclusive right of burial.

As with traditional burial plots, costs vary dramatically. Also worth noting is that many natural burial grounds only allow small burial markers, such as wooden signs. Some don't allow burial markers at all.

Who do you buy a burial plot from?

Some funeral homes can help you buy a burial plot. However, you don't purchase it directly from the funeral home. Even if your funeral director helps, they'll buy it from the cemetery owner on your behalf. The owner is often the local council, but it could also be a place of worship (like a church) or a private company.

The prices of exclusive rights of burial often change. For this reason, the cost of the document is rarely included in a funeral plan.

Can you buy a burial plot before you die?

If you want to be buried near a loved one or loved ones, you can buy a burial plot during your lifetime.

People who have lost a partner sometimes purchase the plot next to them. This is called a 'purchased grave'.

The main advantage of a purchased grave is that your family won't have to pay for the plot when you die. On the other hand, the expense can be significant and not all cemeteries and crematoriums offer purchased graves.

Can you transfer ownership of a burial plot?

A burial plot is an asset and can be transferred and sold like any other asset. When the lessor (leaseholder) dies or decides they don't want the plot any more, the plot can be transferred to another person.

Lessors also have the right to add another owner to the lease, transfer ownership or return the lease to the council or church. In this last instance, the lessor will get some money back.

How many burial plots are there in the UK?

There's no central database or registry of burial plots in the UK. However, research from Historic England and others suggests there are somewhere between 12,000 and 20,000 cemeteries and burial grounds in England and Wales.

How do you find burial plot deeds?

If you have misplaced the exclusive right of burial, you should first contact the plot owner. This could be the local authority, cemetery or place of worship. You could also contact the funeral director who managed the most recent burial in the plot. It's also worth checking with family members.

Do you need help arranging a funeral service and burial ? Whether you want a traditional ceremony or something unique, we're here to guide you through every step. Please don't hesitate to call us on 020 8355 7876 if you need our support.

akshardham

Robin poems for funerals: poetry about robins and loved ones

Are you looking for a poem to read at a funeral? Explore 8 beautiful poems about robins that could feel appropriate for the service.

Eight poems about robins and loved ones

1. "The Visitor" by K.M. Ehmed

2. "Little Robin" by John F. Conner

3. "The Robin" by Witter Bynner

4. "The Robin Makes a Laughing Sound" by Sallie Wolfe

5. "To the First Robin" by Louisa May Alcott

6. "Winter" by Walter de la Mare

7. "The Blossom" by William Blake

8. "The Robin is the One" by Emily Dickinson

Irish poets on death: funeral poems and readings from Ireland

A selection of Irish funeral poems offering reflection and remembrance. Discover timeless words from some of Ireland's best-loved writers.

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Irish funeral poems

'Aedh Wishes for the Cloths of Heaven' by W.B. Yeats

'Amber' by Eavan Boland

'May the road rise to meet you' – a traditional Irish blessing

Sad Irish poems about death

'Death' by W.B. Yeats

'Requiescat' by Oscar Wilde

Choosing the right reading

What is a funeral wake?

Learn what a funeral wake is – from traditional gatherings to modern funeral receptions – and what to expect when attending or planning one.

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What happens at a funeral wake?

The traditional meaning of a wake

The modern funeral wake

Who goes to a wake?

What should you expect as a guest?

Food and drink at a wake

Planning a funeral wake

Different faiths and cultural approaches

A space to come together

Lionel Richie funeral songs: memorial music by the king of ballads

From timeless love ballads to gentle tributes… Explore 8 of Lionel Richie's most moving songs, ideal for funerals or remembrance.

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Endless Love

Three Times a Lady

Hello

Say You, Say Me

Truly

Still

Just for You

Goodbye

A final note on music and remembrance

Reggae funeral songs: 7 sad reggae songs about death and grief

Are you looking for a reggae song to play at a loved one's funeral? Explore 7 sad, bittersweet and hopeful tunes from the reggae greats.

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Seven reggae songs that are suitable for a funeral

1. Cornel Campbell: "No Man's Land"

2. Gregory Isaacs: "Sad To Know (You're Leaving)"

3. Toots and the Maytals: "True Love is Hard to Find"

4. Peter Tosh: "Burial"

5. Jimmy Cliff: "Many Rivers to Cross"

6. Yabby You: "Conquering Lion"

7. Bob Marley: "Three Little Birds"

How does a funeral home look after a person's body?

A guide to how funeral homes look after a person who has died – from collection to care, through to viewing and the funeral.

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Bringing the person's body into care

At the funeral home

H3: Washing and preparing the person's body

Dressing and personal touches

Viewing the person who has died

What is embalming?

Leading up to the funeral

The day of the funeral

A process built around care and choice

How to make memorial ribbons for funerals

Here's a step-by-step guide to making memorial ribbons for funerals. Explore materials, wording ideas and thoughtful ways to personalise them.

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What are memorial ribbons?

What you'll need?

Materials

Optional extras

Making a memorial ribbon

Step one: choose the ribbon colour

Step two: cut the ribbon